L.A.P.D.: To Protect And To Serve (2001)

Plenty to Like, Plenty to Dislike

Fantastic!

The story-telling is good with flashbacks.The film is both funny and heartbreaking. You smile in a scene and get a soulcrushing revelation in the next.

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

I saw this DVD on a clearance rack for $5, and having never heard of it prior to that moment, decided to pick it up seeing as it had Dennis Hopper. Sadly, the movie barely even has Dennis Hopper in it, and the scenes he is present for showcase some of his worst acting to date.I am truly amazed that the two main characters can even consider themselves actors due to their complete incompetence at acting in general. The plot is absolutely ridiculous and to make matters worse, the scenes involving the police officers and vehicles were not even slightly accurate to what would happen in a real situation similar to that.Perhaps my favorite part of the movie was the sex scene, which had to be one of the most pathetic scenes ever put to film. The man's facial expression suggested that his toenails were being ripped off and was one of the few times that a scene in a film has brought me to tears from laughter. The gunfights are just as "mind-blowingly" bad. The film starts off with two men with machine guns surrounded by around ten police officers all within around 30 feet ducking behind police cars for cover. And amazingly, the police go through countless rounds without a hit on either man for a few minutes. Add in how the men who play the criminals aren't even trying due to their lack of acting skills whatsoever, and you have an awful beginning to an equally awful film.Truly terrible movies only pop up once in a blue moon, but L.A.P.D.: To Protect and Serve sets the bar for bad. Not only is it an extremely non- entertaining piece of garbage, but it rivals Manos: Hands of Fate on my list for the worst movie I have ever seen. Dennis Hopper, who had brilliant performances in films such as Speed, should feel ashamed to even make a brief cameo in this sorry excuse for a film. Sadly, IMDb does not allow me to rate it lower than a 1/10, because LAPD does not deserve even a tenth of that point.

If you forget about "authenticity" and whether or not the bullet left the body at the right angle or that no-one can shoot straight because they've forgotten their training and just panicked and started shooting wildly or that someone needed longer arms than are humanly possible or whatever and just had a look at the story, you'll find a good movie.You see how easily and innocently unsuspecting straight cop gets pulled into web of bad cops and how well it sticks. You see futility and desperation as he tries to escape and his final resolve. You also see some pretty bizarre acting by D. Hopper as he seems to be playing it for a black comedy.As far as movies go this does rate higher than a home-made video but not much farther along the path to Hollywood BlockBuster than say a very amateurish B grade show. Because this was based on actual events the story is the movie and it's interesting to see how it all took place or at least how easy it is for this corruption to be going on.My rating 7/10 (Distinctive)

I read a lot of positive press about this Canadian-shot film, first when it was being made (in Vancouver) and soon after its release. Apparently the movie has been sold to every country in the world. Not bad for a modest little cop movie, featuring dependable names like Marc Singer (an 'iconic' actor as the earth-hero in the 1980's alien TV-series "V"), twitchy Michael Madsen (no doubt nabbing his spot in the new Bond film, due to all the hype surrounding his appearance here), good ol' Charles Durning, and venerable Dennis Hopper.Hopper weaves in and out throughout "LAPD" as an LAPD Division commanding officer. Singer is your basic good cop and Durning plays his Dad. Madsen plays a dirty cop (naturally).I give kudos to Marc Singer for delivering a modest, yet impressive performance.The movie is based on real life events, and there is more than enough blood 'n guts gun-play action here, coupled to numerous gorgeous (and gorgeously nude) women, to provide many entertaining diversions.I always get a kick out of the films produced by 'Maurice Smith Productions' and this show is no exception. Whether its 1969's "Cycle Savages" (with Bruce Dern), or Smith's 1980's (Roger Corman co-produced) teen comedies like "Screwballs" or "Recruits" (a hell of a lot funnier than any of the "Police Academys"), his films have always had a unique stamp of 'eccentricity' to them, usually to compensate for the budgetary constraints that most independent films (ie. non-studio films) have to deal with.If Smith can make a movie (that really DOES look like a movie) with the small budgets that he usually has to work with, then I am looking forward to see what he can do with some reel money. I hear he has a western, a sci-fi action piece and a supernatural mystery already lined up.The best is yet to come, I'm sure ...

To Protect and Serve: Protect us the viewer and serve the acting to the dogs. Why oh Why did I rent this? Because of Dennis Hopper. After all, he has made some good films, even very good ones. I saw him on the cover, and instead of checking IMDB first, I took a chance. This trash is the Plan Nine from Outer Space version of modern law enforcement. If I were a LAPD employee, a LA criminal, a citizen of LA, even an alien from Mars, I would demand that all money used in this production be used to burn all copies of this wherever they may be. Considering the absolute total ineptness of the acting, directing, and writing efforts here, there may be only enough loose coin to burn just one copy. Dennis Hopper was in this for 3 maybe 4 minutes. And you could plainly see he was over acting. Dennis, do not add this to your filmography. This is a very, very bad film.