One Armed Swordsman Against Nine Killers (1976)

Plenty to Like, Plenty to Dislike

A Major Disappointment

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

Watching it is like watching the spectacle of a class clown at their best: you laugh at their jokes, instigate their defiance, and "ooooh" when they get in trouble.

You've gotta hand it to Wang Yu: he starred in some of the most ENTERTAINING martial arts movies ever made- very often, with one arm literally tied behind his back. ONE-ARMED SWORDSMAN VS. 9 KILLERS is a quintessential Wanger. As noted everywhere this one's been reviewed, this one has absolutely nothing to do with any of Yu's One-Armed Boxer movies, nor any of his One-Armed Swordsman movies. As also noted, Yu has more than a few tricks up his sleeve in this one. One of the funnier moments comes when he confronts a man whose falsetto suggests he may just be a tad light in the loafers- only he's not, because he's... a hermaphrodite! S/He proves no match for Wang Yu, of course. Another opponent, Mr. Lu, boasts a most impressive weapon (...): a six-foot long, twelve-inch wide broadsword... "The size of your sword doesn't matter," Yu deadpans. Before long, Lu is impaled on his own sword... ("I didn't come here to toot my own horn," Yu should've said: "My neck isn't long enough...") But that's not all: when Yu is betrayed by "9 Finger Chu," Yu, wounded, says: "But you have ten fingers..." "That's right," counters Chu: "But I've only got 9 TOES..." It's also revealed that the one-armed swordsman has two arms, and he never actually uses a sword in the movie. In fact, when he's asked at one point if he's a swordsman, he says no... ONE-ARMED SWORDSMAN VS. 9 KILLERS has all the earmarks of a Wang Yu movie and, as such, deserves a look.

I must admit that I have seen the bad cut version of this movie. As soon as a fight begins and the enemies face each other, there is a cut and in the next seen, a dead man lies on the ground and the main actor continues its strange journey. I don't know who has cut this movie to pieces but that's probably the worst job I have ever seen as it makes this movie completely senseless in a ridiculous way and the little twists in the end which allow me to give at least some plus points for the final voting are really hard to observe and understand.But I will try to ignore those cut down fight scenes and analyze this movie from another point of view and might realize that it doesn't get better in any way. The dialogues are simplistic and ridiculously humorist by accident. The acting is more wooden than in an old martial arts video game. The direction and filming is mediocre, the chosen settings are cheesy and ordinary, the music doesn't quite fit to the atmosphere. The movie represents some strange and provoking opinions: people joke about cripples, prostitutes, homosexuals, old people and women in general. Those racist, sexist and simply dumb prejudices are completely unnecessary and keep me away from getting an approach to any of the characters performed by the already quite wooden actors and actresses.But the most important thing in such a movie are the fighting scenes after all and those that haven't been cut are simply terrible. the one armed fighter has no particular skills at all and not even a glimpse of elegance. His fights are as wooden, limited and crippled as the whole character and movie itself. You can see that the main character's enemies lose their battles in the most stupid ways and the nine guards and seemingly best fighters are nothing but a bad joke. One guy is fighting with a sword of two meters that burst into pieces like a piece of papier-mâché. Even for a low budget movie this scene was a great example for the quality of the entire movie. Ed Wood Junior couldn't have created a better piece of trash. That's probably the worst offering I have ever seen in a martial arts movie. Even Jean-Claude van Damme and Chuck Norris are faster and smarter.In the end, I can't suggest this movie to anyone with one humorous exception. If you happen to have a party with some good friends and you had way too much beers or drugs in your head, you may laugh like hell while you watch this piece of trash but it's really hard to get yourself on such a low level that makes you appreciate this worst Asian movie I have ever seen in my life. No, honestly and to be serious, don't believe the good rating and avoid this at all costs. Check out my other reviews of Asian flicks, there are so many better films to find no matter what you're looking for.

I am only rating this 2 because there is a home made DVD going around under the title Der Foltergarten Der Gelben Schlange. While the other reviews here don't like this film too much, I didn't have as much problem with the movie itself but just this copy of it. This reminded me of when I used to watch movies on TV when they'd show them on a Saturday afternoon and everything was cut out. Every time Wang Yu goes to kill a guy there's a cut and suddenly we're somewhere else. Even the big "secret" when he is caught with two arms is so cut it's hard to tell what happened. The copy I watched was 77 minutes long and while there are rare copies on Ebay none of them gives a time so it's hard to tell if the ones being sold are heavily cut like this is. Hopefully a full version will come out on DVD. But beware! This cannot be the entire film but what I would call a cut TV copy dubbed in hilarious English. OK over a year later I rented the DVD of this movie. Sadly it is even worse than the homemade DVD I already reviewed. The DVD for rent looks like a bootleg of a really beat up VHS tape complete with tracking lines flashing scenes and drop outs. It's as if someone had an old tape they had used for years with no credits and put it on a DVD washed out bad color flaws and all. The home made DVD I reviewed (with Dutch subs) is a far better print and looks good as a DVD but it's missing all the stabbing, blood and some key scenes. Both of the DVDs have hilarious English dubbing. I think it's better to have the 83 minute DVD that is up for rent but here's hoping a DVD company will do Wang Yu justice and put out a remastered complete version hopefully in Chinese with English subs. All Wang Yu movies are worth getting this treatment. He is as important as Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan and Jet Li as a martial arts star.

What a 'confuzzling', bizarre piece of martial arts madness. The plot has so many flaws, nothing made any sense, the acting is terrible (even for a very low budget Chinese movie) and to top it off the fighting scenes are unimaginative to say the least. But... for some twisted reason I think this film is worth the watch. It is like no other martial arts film I've ever seen, the only film I can liken it to is "nine deadly venoms" that only because of the craziness. You can pick up this movie on 'Vengeance Video' label, for around £6, so its a must buy really.7/10(Confuzzling = Confusing + Crazy + Bizarre)