The Almost Perfect Bank Robbery (1999)

Brilliant and touching

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

Like the great film, it's made with a great deal of visible affection both in front of and behind the camera.

Worth seeing just to witness how winsome it is.

The Almost Perfect Bank Robbery is one of those just below middlin' productions that are the hallmark of cable TV. You know the ones I mean. They've all got a somewhat known actor in one of the main roles, are often based at least loosely on a true event and all too frequently suck you in by never being bad enough to make changing channels seem worthwhile. In this one, Brooke Shields gives just a good enough performance to keep hanging on through the sub-mediocre rest of the movie. Every once in a great while, this kind of film can reward you by doing something interesting in the second half or pulling off a snappy ending. That doesn't happen here.Cyndee Lafrance and Frank Syler (Brooke Shields and Dylan Walsh) are no-longer-young lovers in Woodville, Texas. She's the sort of Southern belle who's been in training her whole life to be a kept woman and he's the poor working shmuck who's convinced himself he has to keep her. To satisfy their desires to keep and be kept, they hatch a plan to rob the bank where Cyndee works and then sneak the money out of the country to the Cayman Islands. Cyndee and Frank are the sort of criminal masterminds that think they can buy a big house in the suburbs with their ill gotten gains, never considering how they're going to explain their new found wealth to their friends, neighbors or the IRS. So, it's no surprise that shortly after the bank robbery, an FBI agent named Royce (Rip Torn) zeroes in on Cyndee and Frank as suspects.The crime is about as complicated as a game of Tic Tac Toe and the investigation is about as involved as playing hide and go seek with one of those 700 pound shut in's whose fat flaps have to be washed by other people. Perhaps realizing that, these filmmakers throw in a passel of minor characters who may have been modeled on folks from the real bank robbery this movie is based on, but they all should have been eliminated. They're all poorly written, not much better performed and contribute nothing to the story that couldn't have been done in either a smarter or funnier way. While watching The Almost Perfect Bank Robbery, I couldn't help feel like I was seeing something intended for an audience that dropped out of school in the 9th grade. It's that unsubtle and direct. There's also this wildly out of place ominous music that crops up on the soundtrack whenever the film tries to generate a little tension, but it's so baldly manipulative and arbitrary that it works more like a laugh track.But Brooke Shields gives a performance that makes you understand what the phrase "high maintenance woman" means and why some women get away with being like that. Dylan Walsh is okay. He does appear to be playing this story about 15 degrees more serious than anyone else in the cast. Rip Torn is…well, Rip Torn. His role isn't even well enough developed to make it as a punch line, so there's not much else he could be.The Almost Perfect Bank Robbery isn't any good at all, but honestly? I've seen so many films sooooooo much worse than this, I can't help but grade it on a curve. Watching this movie didn't make me feel like I was slapped in the face with a carp or sodomized with an electric toothbrush. It didn't leave me writing around in my chair, desperate for it to be over, and it never made me want to throw something at the TV. If that's not damning something with faint praise, I don't know what is.

I accidentally ran into this movie while fixing my TV/computer. I saw Brooke Sheilds all dolled up in an eccentric outfit and started giggling. It took only a few minutes for her and the other actors to actually charm me into watching this film. I was confused as I had no recall of it being a theatrical release. I then checked here at IMDb and found out it was a TV movie! What a waste! It should have been released in theatres! It really has charm, comedy, suspense, warmth, and excellent performances and fine direction. There are some films that have memorable performances and these folks really dug in and made these characters a riot.It's too funny and I won't give out spoilers. It doesn't have any sleaze or violence but it has those characters you would see in an episode of 'Cops'. Well worth the purchase and rental. A real unexpected treat. Anyone saying Brooke Shields can't act should be taken out back and beaten with a half roasted buffalo hoof.

This is one of the few films where the characters have accents that don't sound phony. And that is not all that is in good order with this charmer. A variety of portrayals characterizing southern personality types is funny in itself. The plot is very simple and places more responsibility on acting and integration of other film making elements to create a valid viewing experience. From the sound and music to clothing and sets, it all fits. While there is nothing unpredictable about the Almost Perfect Bank Robbery, nothing is offensive either. A good example of what can be done without a large cast and production crew to create a first class picture. I loved it and wish it was a little longer so I could enjoy it more.

Some interesting film and editing techniques for a TV movie. Probably would have had more impact if originally broadcast in '96 as intended. The wackiness gets a little tiring at times, but the fresh approach makes up for it. Quite a good job by Shields. It's hard at first not to be aware that it's "Brooke Shields," but her growth as an actress and her seemingly natural flare for comedy allows you to eventually just enjoy her character. She seemed to be having a blast. I laughed out loud a couple of times. Worth at least one viewing.