Murder on Flight 502 (1975)

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

It's simply great fun, a winsome film and an occasionally over-the-top luxury fantasy that never flags.

George McCowan ("Frogs") directed this obvious "Airport" & "Murder On The Orient Express" clone that stars Robert Stack as pilot Captain Larkin, who is flying a passenger jet airliner to Great Britain that is plagued by an unknown murderer who had warned the airport about the intended crime, but is discovered too early. After two murders and at least two false leads(everyone on board has issues of course!) can the no-nonsense captain find the murderer before he or she strikes again? Ralph Bellamy, Hugh O'Brian, Farrah Fawcett, Brooke Adams, and Sonny Bono costar. Woefully inept and tiresome film is clichéd and contrived beyond belief, though may well have inspired later spoof "Airplane!".

This film falls firmly in the So Bad You'll Love It pile of bargain-bin wonders, a TV feature film, of the type made for audiences assumed to have an IQ equivalent of a retarded chicken.The corny Dialogue reaches new heights of hilarity only matched by the Airport series, and its spoof Airplane! (Flying High). Cheap sets - an "airport lounge" that looks like the set of a cheap office where some equally cheap 70s show had just been filmed, the "aircraft" with impossibly wide expanses, giant square door, "hundreds" of passengers of which we only see a handful and sometimes the cabin seems empty, the TWO, yes TWO stewardesses, disappearing passengers (Danny Bonaduce stops appearing in the cabin half way through) a cockpit where nothing ever seems to happen except hilarious radio exchanges, a plane that takes off and in the next shot is shown landing (different models, different colour schemes even used in consecutive shots of the supposed airliner taking off), not to mention the impossibly ridiculous "script". Its hard to believe that this film was intended to be taken seriously. One of the priceless lines (about a bogus priest who wears nail polish - what???!!!)comes from a psychologist attempting to analyse why someone would impersonate a priest: "A clinical manifestation of religious hysteria!" - I kid you not. See it and prepare to laugh yourself silly.

From the maker of Love Boat, Melrose Place, and T.J. Hooker comes the made for TV movie, Murder on Flight 502! I love made for TV movies like this because it portrays a special blend of mindless cheesiness found only in 70s and early 80s TV plots that are pretty much extinct today. Have no doubts, this show sucks, but its entertaining because it's so corny and unbelievably minimal in content. There's a comforting sort of charm in realizing that TV creations like this were big hits in popular TV viewing of the time. All the characters are campy, cookie cutter stereotypes that over react and over explain everything so that we the viewers will not be confused due to misfortunes caused by subtlety finess. But its the lame plot that brings it all home. I can just imagine the TV execs of the day sitting around smoking pot and "brainstorming", when suddenly one them stands from his seat and announces, "Let's make a show about a bunch of people on an airplane!", and that was it, that was the plot and history was made. Long gone are the days when idiot proof plots and acting like this would engross a nation wide TV viewing audience. I won't ruin it for anyone (even though there's nothing to really ruin), but you pretty much know how the story is going play out within the first five minutes. The whole show is basically like watching a game of Clue (the board game) where the viewer tries to figure out who has the bomb on the plane. There's lot's of insipid comedy relief that's not really funny, and drama that has no depth. But don't get me wrong, it's white bread, mindless entertainment all the way. Truly a prime example of a lost art that produced this piece of 70s TV crap. Enjoy!

If you've seen Airplane!, enjoyed Airplane! and perhaps wondered where Airplane! got some of its inspiration from, check out Murder on Flight 502. My brother found it for the astounding price of one dollar American, and for that single bill you get Robert Stack, Farrah Fawcett, Sonny Bono, and...Danny Bonaduce? Oh, but yes. And there's more. As the film tepidly moves along, begging you to find the murderer among the passengers before anyone is actually murdered, you'll be treated to outrageous mid-70's fashion (brown is IN!), bizarre character backgrounds, and the hottest burgeoning romance this side of Harold and Maude, an elderly Jewish woman and an elderly Methodist known only as Uncle Charlie. "Ah...I know half the story already!" says the elderly woman slyly after Uncle Charlie introduces himself, and believe me, you will know every sundry detail of Uncle Charlie's hard knock life, even though it's probably better that you didn't.You will see Sonny Bono sing, and you will realize why Cher was much better on her own. Robert Stack will make Bruce Willis in Die Hard look bad with his endless barrage of hard-boiled, sarcastic one-liners. But most of all, you will figure out who the murderer is, and you will be satisfied when they get their comeuppance.No, there is no singing stewardess, no jive-talkers, no inflatable auto-pilot, no Leslie Neilsen. But unless you are unable to mock the earnest, but futile work of many to make a taut murder mystery shot almost entirely on a plane full of large, orange seats, you will like Murder on Flight 502. I promise.