Glory Alley (1952)

The Worst Film Ever

Simply Perfect

As Good As It Gets

Absolutely Brilliant!

MGM Never Understood and Always Looked Down Upon the Film-Noir of RKO and the Socially Conscious WB and Considered All of that Stuff Low-Brow and Not Worthy of the Sanctimonious Studio. Eventually in the Late Forties and Early Fifties while In Decline and in Desperation to at least Compete with those Types of Movies that were Popular, they Relegated Second Units to Make Movies in those Genres. Most of the Time they Failed and in this Case they Failed Miserably. A Film with No Clue about what it is or what it wants to be, the Studio Delivered a Film Hodgepodge with No Conviction on Any of its Multiple Styles.Streetwise Locations are on the Back Lot with Enough Room for a Prancing Musical Number or Two, Seedy New Orleans Interiors are Slick Highly Lit Sets Filled with Happy Folks who Sing and Dance on Cue. Narration is used with some of the Worst Hollywood Writing of the Time and the Story is Concerned with Propagandizing the War in Korea.Ralph Meeker Fans Better Stay Away from this one as He Struggles to be a Man and is Haunted by a Past that in a Reveal is Skull Crushingly Dumb. Leslie Caron Looks Cute and Flashes Her Legs Vibrantly Until You Notice, but the Idea of Her Doing Ballet in a Girly Bar says it all about the Filmmakers being So Far Out of their Element that it is Painful to Watch.

"Glory Alley" is a frustrating movie because it is so dumb and completely wastes the talents of one of the more interesting actors of his time, Ralph Meeker. Meeker had a natural way of acting--tough, gritty and with incredible realism. He played a great Mike Hammer and was terrific in "Shadow in the Sky". It's odd how he didn't become more famous--maybe a few terrible films like this one could explain it.The first clue that this was a bad film was the opening narration. Rarely will you find dumber narration--and you wonder who wrote this tripe. Unfortunately, during the Korean War segment later in the film, you hear this lame claptrap again.The film is about the ridiculously named 'Socks Barbarossa' (Meeker). He's a contender for the title but, inexplicably, he simply walks out of the boxing ring seconds before a big fight begins. Why is uncertain for a while but SOME of his motivation seems to be a desire not to become a punch-drunk loser--the fate of most boxers. Naturally, folks are darn mad--but the angriest is the blind father (Kurt Kasznar) of his girlfriend (Leslie Caron).As for Caron, she still wants to marry Meeker. It might mean she can finally leave her job dancing on Bourbon Street. Now the dancing made me laugh--instead of stripping she danced a supposedly sexy dance--consisting of ballet and lots of wiggling. Coming for a cute lady like Caron, it made me laugh and seemed about as erotic as watching Irene Ryan strip! Who came up with this?!?! Meeker spends much of the rest of the film trying to prove he is a man. And, when he's sent to Korea, he risks his life and wins the Medal of Honor--and everyone loves him--except for Kasznar. As for Kasznar, he's ridiculously angry throughout the film and constantly berates Meeker. For him, the Congressional Medal of Honor isn't good enough!! Duh. So what can Meeker do next to win over Kasznar? Because without doing this, it seems unlikely Caron will ever marry him.In the end, you find out the MAIN reason he had for quitting boxing--and it makes no sense at all! All that wait, the bad narration and Kasznar's bad overacting...for nothing! A complete and total waste--showing even a very good actor can make a terrible films. And, even more amazing is that it was directed by one of the better directors of his time, Raoul Walsh! Uggh--it's bad.

Rarely have I seen such uniformly bad reviews for a studio production with name stars as this one. No need to repeat many of the negative points already made. I am curious, nonetheless, how such a misfire not only got released but also how it got made in the first place. Director Raoul Walsh was one of Hollywood's most respected filmmakers, and deservedly so. Yet his direction of Meeker suggests that neither of them had a clear concept of the character of Socks who comes across like a grinning doofus instead of a tough-guy boxer (compare with Meeker's genuine tough guy in Kiss Me Deadly). In fact, Walsh's direction really comes alive only during the crowd scenes which do show some sparkle. My guess is he took one look at the screenplay and went for the payday. And who was it, I wonder, who gave final approval to a script (Art Cohn) that has all the coherence and plausibility of an Ed Wood creation. To me, the movie has too many earmarks of a rush-job that ended up doing nobody any favors. Cable should do viewers a favor and give this sorry concoction a belated burial, decent or otherwise.

This is one of the few movies I consider so bad they're interesting. The champion in this category is "The Guilt Of Janet Ames." "Glory Alley" is not that awful but it is a real mess. Yet, it is intriguing.Ralph Meeker, the brilliant star of "Kiss Me Deadly" who did way too few movies, plays a boxer named Socks Barbarosa. Maybe Bill Clinton named his cat after this character.Meeker is also very good in "Show In The Sky." He was generally underused ion movies, though."Glory Alley" is a kind of faux-Damon Runyon. Runyon gone South to New Orleans. We have Socks. We have a blind man called the Judge. His helper, played by Louis Armstrong, is named Shadow.The Judge has an Italian accent; yet his daughter has a French accent. And no wonder: She is Leslie Caron. Caron and Meeker could have been a fantastic combination. She's appealing. It's hard, though, to believe that she is doing music hall numbers at a dive called Chez Bozo and her father doesn't know it. He seems to know everything else that's going on.The movie is narrated by newspaper reporter John McIntire. It's a voice-over narration, looking back on the vents we're seeing. But this is no noir. McIntire tells us it's the most fascinating story he ever covered -- and he's never told the truth till now -- is that of Socks Barbarosa.Well, it could have been a fascinating story. It's peopled with fine actors and a superb leading man. But it doesn't hold together. This is not to mention its preaching: Much of the dialogue, especially toward the end, sounds as if it came from a sampler on a wall. Nor what sounds like the MGM Chorale that accompanies some of Armstrong's trumpet playing and is sort of an uplifting Greek chorus.