Back Woods (2001)

Best movie of this year hands down!

Powerful

Great story, amazing characters, superb action, enthralling cinematography. Yes, this is something I am glad I spent money on.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

I haven't achieved much in my life. I've lived "under the radar" and haven't taken many risks. But I have seen "Back Woods" *TWICE* . The effort it took to pop that DVD in a second time can only be described as Herculean. I learned a lot about my limits during that film. I don't know who will ever read this review, but rest assured that you and I (having never met one another) could go outside with the money we have in our pockets right now and film a better movie in less time than it would take you to watch "Back Woods". "Back Woods" was so bad that any description of how that "movie" (if we can define it as such) was "made" (if that indeed is how it came into being) would involve more description of the plot than is actually presented in the "film". Here's a taste : a fat man slathered with ketchup erupting from a latex cervix and a psychedelic deer/man/ghost with confusing sexuality haunt a forest and mess with some kids. It's like some buddies got drunk on Keystone Light and tried to film a horror movie before the buzz wore off, then some girl took her top off (but amazingly her breasts could barely hold my attention any longer than her catatonic acting)and some guy tucked his junk backwards. Fun night right? Except, the next day they woke up and actually tried to make it a real movie. Then gave up and tried to make it a comedy. Then gave it to a junkie to edit and he tried to make an art film out of it.There's moments in the film like when one of the actors(?) puts on a mustache and affects an accent and suddenly is playing the father of another character and you realize that was supposed to be a flashback or during the fifteen grainy minutes of tree shots so loving that i would not hesitate to describe it as "forest porn" that you realize :they didn't intend this. Despite the joking and the gore and the breasts...they thought this would actually be a real movie. And it is for this reason that "Back Woods" fails so completely. All the ego and naivety mixed together and created a cinematic black hole. Don't watch it. Ever.Oh yeah SPOILER ALERT they play the entire movie backwards at the end so i guess maybe i saw it four times.

I tried to give this movie a 1, but for some reason it's not possible. I just feel utter pity for those who were involved but not responsible for this movie. This movie is the poster-child for retro-active abortion. I can't believe I have to admit I've seen worse. This movie is rather scary. Once it has hit you that someone can release something like this, you will be scared. A budget of twenty-five cents. The special effects evidencing that budget. The acting skills of...well, we'll leave them out of it. They use a park pavilion as a gas station. You know it's a gas station by the cardboard sign with the word "Gas" on it. You may want to keep the control close to you while watching, with your finger on the volume button. I think there may have been a microphone somewhere in the making. The camera work is a disaster, the plot worse, the continuity within the plot going down even further. The movie is about a transvestite redneck retarded-genius mass murderer(TRRGMM), and plot is basically: A woman gets pregnant, carries the child for thirty years until giving birth to Luther, in what is a very interesting delivery. Luther and his mother live in the woods. Their life is rough. They don't have a house, a shack, a roof, or anything else. No, they live outside. After a group of campers run over the mother, Luther vows vengeance, puts on his dead mother's dress, thus becoming the TRRGMM. It takes great skill to watch this thing the whole way through. After the first watch, it does become easier. I found myself laughing the whole way through the second round. I like the bit where you can hear traffic on the "deserted back road." You may notice that after certain people die, their bodies may become deformed, missing hands and feet, very pale, or maybe just unconvincing. The nudity scene will help you get through to the end credits, but will not redeem it in any way. If you dare see it, you may say it was the worst thing you have ever seen. I, on the other hand, can say I am familiar with the work of the Polonia brothers.

Let's get something out of the way, folks: the majority of the positive reviews written for this film are being done by those associated with its production. This film is so awful that I dare say it is not even a matter of opinion. Therefore, factually, this film is awful. It does not succeed as a film on any level. More was spent on the box art than on the entire film, which becomes apparent the moment the first few frames hit your television. I've probably aroused your curiosity because now you're wondering just how bad this film could possibly be, right? I guess some people have to learn the hard way.

Luther... The greatest character in movie history? Yes folks. Yes he is. David Hayes has the performance of a lifetime playing the *ONLY* 300 pound, retarded-redneck transvestite serial killer I've ever seen played with this much talent and charisma (move over Eric Roberts!). BRAVO! Tears flow when watching his POWERFUL birth.. only rivaled (BUT NOT SURPASSED!) by the first appearance/birth of the Alien in Ridley Scott's "Alien". The heartbreaking moment when his mother is killed is easily as powerful as Bambi's own mother getting shot down by evil hunters. Oh.. so much to talk about. I love this movie. David Hayes has burrowed his way into my really, really large and unhealthy heart.