Attack of the Beast Creatures (1985)

Lack of good storyline.

If you like to be scared, if you like to laugh, and if you like to learn a thing or two at the movies, this absolutely cannot be missed.

Not sure how, but this is easily one of the best movies all summer. Multiple levels of funny, never takes itself seriously, super colorful, and creative.

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

Oh my, it's the, Attack of the beast creatures, (1985) Directed by Michael Stanley, and written by Robert A. Hutton. Spoiler Alert ahead. Not long ago, I was trying to define Cheesy, when it came to movies. I think I've got it. This effort might as well acknowledge the Truth in packaging laws, and call itself, Attack of the puppet hunter dolls. OK, the gimmick worked in Trilogy of Terror (1975) so now we have an island full of them.I have to hand it to this rag tag group of actors, putting their best to make this nonsense, So what have we here? A lifeboat with a handful of survivors, Five guys and Four woman. A usual bland assortment. None of them are schooled in survival skills, nor in self defense. There are the good guys; Robert Nolfi plays John, pals with Case and Phillip, as played by Robert Lengyel and Frank Murgalo, We can tell they are the good guys, they wear ties, halfway through the production. Nobody likes Mr. Morgan played by Robert Furgelusky, No one player memorable, How could they be, given the material they had to work with. I pity the fools. Same could be said for the woman. Underwritten and devoid of personality, save for Mrs Gordon, played by Kay Baily, who everyone likes. The other woman, Cathy and Diane, played by Julia Rust, and Lisa Pac, mostly are called upon to scream and run. Did I mention banal dialogue? "Look, there goes Bill running down the hill, No, don't Stop" They manage to pull off the non monster sequences, hoping that when it comes down to it. the effects won't look as phony as the toys they have to work with. They spin around with these rag dolls taped on them, and act like they are fighting off a savage attack. I am reminded of Lugosi fighting off the rubber Octopus prop,in a swamp. The gore scenes are blatantly phony. This could be said for all the effects in general, I saw the puppeteers hand manipulating the dolls, The "attacking dolls" are tossed haphazardly at the actors, while the sound artists try to figure out what these little hunters battle cry, should sound like. The effects do not match the look of the dolls, we hear the pitter patter of running feet, and the screechy sounds, none of which seem to fit the action. All the while the synthesized soundtrack by John P Mozzi, tries to find a tune to fit the picture, and fails miserably. . Cavernous sounds well up, Rick Wakeman style, and inappropriately. The organ does what a good soundtrack should not, it calls attention to itself, over the action. So this is cheesy On the plus side, the Acid water was an interesting display of originality, what was it doing here? A similar device was used in "The Life of Pi."(2012) The film constantly challenges common sense, and in that it is consistent. that is why the film makes compelling viewing. You find yourself wondering why the girls are still wearing jewelry so late in, why the men don't make weapons, or at least carry sticks. Why they don't find a strategy to fend off the attacks, Nothing nunca, none of the above. I give it Four out of Ten "Inane" Stars

Man, sometimes a film does turn out to be as good as you've been told, and this is one of them. If you're in the mood for a low budget horror film involving tiny, but deadly creatures attacking a cast of bad actors, you can't go wrong here.Set in the 1920s, we find our unlucky lot escaping a sinking ship and ending up on a strangely tropical island (in the North Atlantic!). One of them is badly injured and left on the beach while the others head inland to find food and shelter. At first this place looks like a good place to wait for rescue, but it soon becomes apparent that the group have to stay on their toes, as one guy, thinking he's found fresh water, dips his face into what turns out to be highly corrosive acid, with gory results.The rest of the group are now treading lightly, although they manage to find food and camp down for the night, things take a turn for the worst as they are attacked by the title creatures – tiny beasts with razor sharp teeth (who look like miniature death metal fans!).This is where the film really takes off as our group of folk have to fend of constant attacks by these little nut-cases, who put the bite on all of the cast (leading to hilarious shots of various actors fighting off these little models). For some reason, even though these creatures are badly made models who have movable arms and teeth, still manage to come across as quite menacing as there seems to be an infinite amount of them. Such a sight watching these things run through the undergrowth, growl at the cast from trees, and swing from vines like Tarzan.While not overly gory, the film does expand on the creatures' attacks as they employ traps to catch their prey so it doesn't become a mere exercise is the cast being stalked. This is the kind of film you'll either love for it's cheapness and bad acting or you'll hate it for the same reasons. It gets a recommendation from me.

This is one of those oddball sci-fi/horror low budget gore-fests that were common in the '80's. In some ways, it's actually effective at the scares (such as the camp fire scene), and in other places, it's ripe tripe for some MST3K-type riffing (don't know if they ever did this one, but it would have fit right in on that show).Cruise ships have had their share of problems lately, and apparently it wasn't any different in 1985. A distressed cruise ship drops off passengers into life boats, one of which drifts its way to a harmless looking island. The ship wreck survivors soon find out that the shipwreck was just the beginning of their nightmare. The indigenous locals are not great hosts. They're cannibal pygmies that look scary at night, and hilariously silly in daylight. And they're hungry since it's been a while since their last food supply of ship wrecked cruise ship tourists ran out some time ago. They resemble zombies in their attacks but can dart around much faster. They also have weird faces. And they have an idol; this to me was one of the funniest scenes.It's a battle for survival, complete with a clichéd loud mouth character, questionable acting skills, unwise close-up shots of the pygmies, screaming by pretty girls, and lots of bloodied and mauled victims. The format is a typical "getting picked off one at a time" piece, but works even though it's obvious who's next each time.Very entertaining, whichever way you approach it: as a cheap scares low budget horror flick, or a laugh riot at where the low budget is most obvious.

Why 1920? Who said that would be a good Idea? Why does nothing about this movie make sense? Was this movie meant to be seen by humans? I have some more questions regarding Attack Of The Beast Creatures. But I'm certainly not holding out for any answers. I'm not sure what I was expecting from this one, but the type of peculiar offered here kind of caught me off guard. Now I've seen a lot of interesting/unique/obscure/terrible Z-grade cinema in my day. Hundreds, in fact, but something tells me this one's one of a kind. The ineptness of it all. The fakeness of those... things!! But really, what I find most peculiar about Attack Of The Beast Creatures is that I actually kinda loved it. We begin with the survivors of a sunken ship, who barely make it to an uncharted Island. This island appears to be quiet, and empty, so their only concern now is to quickly find water and nourishment, any water they manage to find turns out to be acid (the bad kind) and on top of that, this island isn't so empty after all. This Island is the home of hundreds of vicious, little fake-looking/flesh-eating creatures, who have recently discovered the walking buffet, who have unknowingly invaded their territory. That's right, Beast Creatures. Nothing, and I mean nothing about these damn things say "I'm a living being." Just a bunch of little dolls with red skin, and white eyes, that people behind the camera toss towards the cast, who unconvincingly pretend the things are biting them. despite being alive, the cast is even less convincing than the Beast Creatures. I don't know if they thought people had brain-damage in 1920, or these people were actually brain-damaged, in that case, I suppose we should be impressed, other than that, I don't know, there's just something a little "off" about everything in this one. Kinda like in Troll 2. If you haven't seen that one, see it!! nevermind the first one. Anyway, I only speak negatively of this the beast creatures because the negativity is more than obvious. It's all in good fun. The truth is, complete and utter cluelessness of Attack of the Beast Creatures intrigues me to no end. And it's hilarious. Yeah, I'm one of those people. Can't help it. As soon as I read about it, I knew it would be amazing. Lucky for me, I still have a VCR. How about a DVD release? Maybe with some Joe Bob Briggs audio commentary. I think that would be keen. If hearing of the awkward ineptness of this freak-of-nature doesn't scare you off, then you're probably feeling a little curious. If that be the case, go with it. Definitely worth the search, and the price. You won't be sorry... Well, maybe a little. 8/10