The Gold Retrievers (2010)

Sorry, this movie sucks

Boring

An Exercise In Nonsense

Yo, there's no way for me to review this film without saying, take your *insert ethnicity + "ass" here* to see this film,like now. You have to see it in order to know what you're really messing with.

OK, mega-stores wreck mom'n pop businesses, perhaps, so yeah there's "a message".Biggs and Centineo are sweet, and you can see they tried hard.Everything else about the movie is so feeble we found ourselves pitying them for having been tricked into working on a movie that they'll be ashamed of for the rest of their lives.When the moronic bad guys fall in a stream and you see the plastic sheet that kept the water there you realize that the crew had given up on the movie altogether.I suppose you could show it to six and unders, but you might do permanent damage to their ability to distinguish quality from trash.

Josh (Noah Centineo) and his single-parent dad are having a crisis. Their small store is being driven out of business by the new Ultramart in town, run by another divorced, solo father (Billy Zane), who is having a difficult time with his own daughter Ana (Courtney Briggs). Josh's father has informed him that they will have to move, will be apartment dwellers for a spell and will not be able to keep Josh's faithful golden retriever. Josh is distraught beyond measure. However, a legend exists in their California setting that a conquistador once left a hidden fortune in gold. What if Josh finds the treasure? He and his dad could start anew and keep their beloved canine. A chance meeting between Ana and Josh gives the young lad a new friend and gold-hunting partner. Trouble is, two petty criminals, Wade (Steve Guttenberg) and The Professor (Curtis Armstrong) have also been seeking the treasure for years. When Josh finds a significant clue, they are there watching the two young teens every move. Can Josh and Ana find the loot or will the two bungling thieves locate it first? And, since Josh's dad has forbidden him to wander in the neighboring woods, where the treasure may be, will Josh get into further trouble by defying his dad's orders? If you are searching for another family-friendly film, this one is good choice. It has adventure, history, and a darling dog, after all. The acting is a bit weak, with Guttenberg exhibiting too much ham, albeit still humorously, and the rest of the crew, Zane excepted, doing a merely average job. But, the sets, costumes, camera work, script, and direction have some winning ways and zest. So, while the movie is not "solid gold", it most likely will please most family members, young and old. Look for it.

Don't LET THE CUTE DOGGIE ON THE CASE FOOL YOU!!! Terrible movie, awful acting, LAME!!! Don't insult your children by mistakenly thinking this is entertaining. The set is amateur,audio and soundtrack seem like an afterthought, and none of the actors are appealing.The plot of kids looking for gold has been done(goonies).The sub plot of pre-adolescent first kiss, crush, is again, overdone. It tried to be cute, but sorry, the child actors are not good enough to pull it off. We can't even begin to like the characters because the poor acting. I rented this through redbox, and it was not even worth the $1. Even the older actors, who should be 'seasoned', are a joke. Steve Guttenberg as a crotchety scoundrel!? He can't do it.His limp and attempt at tough-guy speech are laughable. Save your time and money, and poke needles in your eyes for 1.5 hours, it will be less painful.

OK so my initial impressions of the film was that it was going to be a modern day goonies so had high expectations for a really good family movie.Much to my disappointment this wasn't in the same school let alone class as the goonies,brief plot 2 kids go treasure hunting with a couple of badguys in tow.The acting from all characters was terrible and the props and locations were appalling, this must have been a low budget film to say the least.Do yourself a favour pass up on this one and get the goonies if your after a good family movie.