Instant Justice (1987)

That was an excellent one.

One of my all time favorites.

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

Instant Justice was suppose to be Michael Pares big break-action film...produced by mega studio Warner Bros....the film bombed and it deserved to. Pare has made some classics (Streets of Fire, Bad Moon, Eddie and the cruisers I & II) but this film is not one of them. It was a sign of things to come from his uneven and often wooden career. Pare is good shape and still has the charm but the action is poorly staged, the supporting actors are terrible, and the film just feels cheap. Check it out for some old school Pare but don't expect much. Maybe you will enjoy it more going in to it expecting less than i did. Pare is in great shape though.

It is hard to imagine a worse film, and equally hard to believe that Craig T. Rumar did not know that he was making a turkey. There are only two stand-out things in this movie and both belong to Tessa Hewitt, otherwise there can only be interest for connoisseurs of timber as represented by Michael Pare and Tawny Kitaen who's acting might be called wooden if one were not worried at receiving complaints from Pinocchio. Dialogue is not helped by Mr Pare needing a 5 second pause before he can deliver his lines so that his scenes with Ms Kitaen have all the spontaneity of a State Funeral. Mr Pare has less acting ability than Arnie but an equally impressive physique, unfortunately when asked to do anything other than adopt a statuesque pose it all goes horribly wrong as he minces across the screen. Action sequences and special effects are laughable, the editing probably done with a chain saw, the sub-disco intrusive 'background' music unremitting. Other than Tessa Hewitt's 30 seconds on screen the film has no redeeming feature.

This movie is fantastic in its abysmal awfulness. Sure, there are bad movies, but then there are movies that are fun to watch specifically because they're so bad. Instant Justice is one of those movies, especially when you throw in the massive doses of pure '80s trashiness. Tawny Kitaen's hairdo is the biggest tease I've ever seen! There's a shower scene (not really spoiling anything here) that should win some sort of super-schlock award. Definitely worth renting for the big hair and idiotic one-liners alone (assuming, of course, you don't have to spend more than 99 cents). Have a few drinks and fade away into classic '80s B-tainment.

Watching the Reagan-era action movies such as MISSING IN ACTION, COMMANDO, DEATH WISH III and RAMBO: FIRST BLOOD PART II 15 years later, it's hard to keep a straight face. With their high bodycounts, corny one-liners and straight attempts at storytelling, these films will always be fun. MARINE ISSUE is no exception, although this time everything is just a little funnier (unintentionally, of course). The acting is atrocious, direction uninspired, and the action scenes, usually the saving grace in these movies, are badly staged, poorly edited and have some of the funniest sound effects you'll ever hear. It's not often you see a movie from Gibraltar, let alone an unintentionally funny action movie from Gibraltar, so enjoy!