Future War (1997)

It's an amazing and heartbreaking story.

It is both painfully honest and laugh-out-loud funny at the same time.

There is, somehow, an interesting story here, as well as some good acting. There are also some good scenes

The storyline feels a little thin and moth-eaten in parts but this sequel is plenty of fun.

Calm down now, all of you calling this the worst movie you have ever seen. I agree, it IS a really horrible movie and rates its space on the IMDb Bottom 100 (and why isn't it on that list? It rates a 1.7 and has over 1500 votes, but it's not there! It should be listed somewhere between 27 and 38). I'm of a firm belief, however, that we need another 1-10 rating chart for those movies that get below a 2 on the regular IMDb voting system. I mean there's bad, worse, and THE WORST. Not all of them can be THE WORST.As bad as this movie is, I can think of three others that I would call The Worst before this one. Depending on my current mood, Night Train to Mundo Fine, Monster a-Go Go, and Manos: The Hands of Fate all are worse than Future War. But when it gets down to movies that have no talent associated with them, not actors, writers, directors or crew, the voting gets very tight and personally subjective. (For me and Manos, for instance, that music(?) made me want to smash my DVD player with my TV set.) Which brings me back to my belief that we need a new chart for those movies that rate in the 1's on the regular voting scale.But don't get your panties in a bunch. They're just movies after all, and we DO watch them on purpose. The fuss reminds me of a line from a good movie, at the end of Animal House: REMAIN CALM! ALL IS WELL!

I'm convinced the final budget for this film was about 5 dollars. Every character in the film aside from the "star" is fat and wears flannel, leading me to believe that they slightly trimmed the 5 dollar budget by using random construction workers as actors.The creature effects were probably comparable to that of a 2nd grader's art project.The story went absolutely nowhere and be sure to swerve to avoid lots and lots of "plotholes" along the way.This movie tries so hard to be Terminator and fails so so so miserably at it.My favorite line: "I'm a tool" - So So So true.The only time you should consider watching this film is with the cast of MST3K sitting in front of you and letting you know just how bad it is as it plays out.If you've spent money to watch this film by itself then I would like to use a line from the movie to describe you: "You're a TOOL!"

Terminator meets Jurassic Park? Wow, That's a horrible combination. Shot in 1994 but not released until 1997.... Really? I wonder why? The most recently released film to ever be featured on the TV series "Mystery Science Theater 3000" . Not surprised at all.... Directed by Visual & Special Effects artist Anthony Doublin (From Beyond, Bride of Re-Animator, Team America, The Blob (88), Sundown: The Vampire in Retreat, Tales from the Darkside: The Movie, & Harley Davidson and the Marlboro Man). You would think someone who has worked on quality films like these would have a decent film himself but then you would be wrong. Then again it's happened before John Carl Buechler comes to be mind he has directed some really good stuff like Troll & Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood but the rest of his filmography is rather poor but besides that he's one of the best Fx guys ever so I guess that logic goes to crap. Most of the supporting cast is god awful & this has some of the worst set pieces in film history. Yes there are a few decent fight scenes & some good action but the problem is a lot of it is done in an abandoned warehouse full of boxes. Yes FULL OF BOXES, how lame is that? This film had so many boxes featured in that someone actually got credit as an "box wrangler" what a joke! Since the director is a Visual & Special Effects artist those were good for the most part except the Dinosaurs looked pretty bad but I've seen worse. The only reason I wanted to see this piece of crap was because the two top billing stars Daniel Bernhardt (Bloodsport 2/3/4, Perfect Target, Mortal Kombat: Conquest, Matrix Reloaded, & The Cutter) & Robert Z'Dar (Maniac Cop Trilogy, Night Stalker, Tango & Cash, Mobsters, & Beastmaster 2) who is only in the film for about 8 minutes. Stay away from this.

'Suck' is not normally a word that features in my vocabulary as a pejorative. There are thousands of words that can be used to describe crappy, cheap, incoherent, stupid, lousy abysmally awful movies like this one, but for some reason I have forgotten them all after this onslaught of tackily made crud. There is no other way of putting it. It sucks. It sucks big time. It is sucky. Sucky sucky sucky. Ultra sucky.The whole movie looks like it was done in single takes - with whoever was free on Thursday nights - how else can you explain the inclusion of the line delivered by the cop who arrives at the scene of a crime."What do we've got?" What?"What do we've got?" There can have been no other take and nothing to cut away to. No other explanation. Inept and amateur, the movie takes place in sets that consisted mostly of empty cardboard boxes; either stacked up so people can fight with them or after they were flattened out, taped together and quickly painted grey to make the shoddiest church and cop station ever filmed.It lurches from set piece to set piece with no coherent plot. Characters appear and disappear from the story almost at random and there is next to no attempt at any characterisation, character development, or even any kind of acting beyond the Joey Tribbiani soap opera level. Actually, "set pieces" is a vast overstatement. There isn't a set piece in the whole movie - they are so all loose and flabby they'd make a half-set jelly look like a building brick.All of this was grist to the mill of MST3K and provided the basis for one of their funniest shows.