Earthstorm (2006)

If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

Absolutely Brilliant!

The acting in this movie is really good.

It is neither dumb nor smart enough to be fun, and spends way too much time with its boring human characters.

As usual, I have the TV on to Telefutura 'cause I'm waiting for "NCIS" on CBS & I'm playing the Wii. I coulda just said this is another run-of-the-mill TV-movie about some killer space turd heading to Earth set to kill millions. Governments & top management have their fears but use their authority to slow down progress to stop the menacing meteors. But some renegade blue-collar worker who's grieving over someone steps in & defies the naysayers into leading the mission to stop the deadly asteroids & save the world in a visually epic fashion. Hero gets the girl (& maybe a medal). The end. Such a film would've made me rate it 2 stars. But that was b4 I began asking questions as I watched the crucial part of "Earthstorm." "Why the hell is the space shuttle launching on a rainy day?" "Why the hell is Stephen Baldwin standing on his own 2 feet in the shuttle in outer space?" "Why the hell is the space shuttle moving like the Millennium Falcon?" You might assume that the writers were high upon writing this, but I think they might've been sober but w/ just a deadline in their rectums. "C'mon, damn you! You got till 3 o'clock!" "Umm, the space shuttle uses a magnetic bomb to fill in the lunar chasm?" "Hmmm. Good enough." I actually was making some tasteless riffs while watching this shuttle scene like, "Well, if Perseus didn't end up like the Challenger maybe it'll suffer Colombia's fate." (one spoiler: The Perseus' return to Earth was so successful that it needed not be shown in the film. How convenient!) Damn, now I got a deadline up my keister so I better state my major points. Yes, the characters appeared to be typical of such disaster films that it deprived "Earthstorm" of chemistry. In fact I watched the film so casually that when the hero kissed the redhead in the end I didn't know (nor care) that there was a spark between the two & joked, "I thought they were brother & sister!" or "I thought one of 'em was gay!" I might understand why space shuttle Perseus got souped up as in reality, many of the space shuttle missions had been mundane, such as visits to the International Space Station & just doing research on astronomy or astrophysics & using shuttle-loads of math. Stephen Baldwin now has another movie alongside "The Flintstones" to be ashamed of. All the while brother Alec is hotter than ever as he wins Emmys, opens his liberal pie-hole, & does Capital One ads. & at least Adam did a film w/ Cindy Crawford despite the negative notoriety for "Fair Game." That reminds me. Considering how atrocious "Earthstorm" was, I only wish this attracted enough votes to vie for the IMDb Bottom 100 but it's only a TV movie & the list is full of films from MST3K (it's cool; I'm a MSTie fan), Paris Hilton movies, & Razzie winners & nominees. To summarize, if possible, rent or download "Earthstorm" but make it a social event, invite friends, & riff your butts off like Joel, Mike, Crow, & Tom Servo used to over the flaws of "Earthstorm," especially on the TOTALLY AWESOME scene where, like, the space shuttle, like, flies through the asteroid field & stuff & like, takes off at Warp Speed? Like, completely epic!!! Incidentally I tweeted to Rifftrax, something done by 3 guys from MST3K, if they'd view "Earthstorm" & riff it; I hope they respond although I think many fans make suggestions to riff many movies. Oh yeah. It's not NASA (who musta LOL'ed upon being asked for permission for using their name) but ASI...I think. It coulda been SNASA for all I care (as in something used in Barney's mating calls on "How I Met Your Mother.") "Earthstorm" sucks! I'm done.

I recently reviewed the documentary, Earthstorm, narrated by Stephen Baldwin, and I wish to show my appreciation for the great feats the characters achieved...**Jessica Heafey as Major Rachel Fine.flies shuttle with joystick from liftoff directly to moon in less than 20 minutes.jettisons main fuel tank (usually kept until orbit) at the same time as boosters - tank (which would be full of fuel) does not blow up and shuttle does not fall back to earth.avoids asteroids and large sections of broken-up moon - again, using joystick.flies shuttle into middle of the moon with joystick - "it's gonna be dark down there" says the cap-com - but, amazingly, it is not too dark.flies shuttle back from moon having jettisoned the new nuclear engines and the main fuel tank - no doubt this was done by rerouting fuel from the Orbital Maneuvering System (OMS) thruster fuel tanks to main engines - usually this would power main engines for a few seconds only, so she must has substantially increased fuel efficiency of shuttle by a factor of some billions.**Stephen Baldwin as John Redding.fattest person in space.walks straight from space shuttle cabin to cargo bay.coolly stands in cargo bay while shuttle is navigated into center of the moon - not even holding onto anything!single-handedly holds nuclear weapon steady in hold - ensuring its safely as shuttle takes moon rock hit.single-handedly correctly judges nuclear blast and thereby welds cracked moon back together by newly discovered magnetic process.**mission controlsuccessful launch of shuttle with no-gos from flight and booster.first launch of shuttle in severe thunderstorm.communicates with shuttle while it is on a ledge in the middle of the moon.built expressive computer voice with ability to detect recovery of moon fault!Pro: mission control has backup generator power - but (con - sorry!) it does not kick in automatically - and then goes out again at the crucial magnetic nuclear detonation stage.**Boeing/NASA.developed nuclear pulse engines for shuttle - which can be heard even in space!installed artificial gravity on shuttle - no one strapped in while in orbit and on moon approach.first torpedo-tube style magnetic nuclear launch from shuttle.substantially upgraded shuttle's durability - previously vulnerable to foam and ice hits, here is can take extensive hits from moon rocks.produced astonishingly maneuverable shuttle with high fuel economy (see above).installed very-useful side windows in cargo bay.in a surprise move, deployed shuttle without bothering to stock it with any spacesuits; also, this "specialized" shuttle has only one deck level and only 3 crew-members.**Overall, pretty harmless and overall enjoyable movie, especially if you are a dweeb who likes spotting mistakes. It's a scifi (syfy?) original so you shouldn't expect Citizen Kane....

Thanks to the complete disregard by the makers of this movie of anything resembling science, I found it quite enjoyable. Yes, there is something called a "space shuttle", and the moon does exist, but that's about where the scientific facts end. Lots of fun trying to spot all of the plot elements that completely disregarded various law of physics; though I lost count after a while. I especially enjoyed how they would just string together some random technical-sounding words to explain each new problem encountered. Loved how to shuttle was able to magically levitate within the moon crevasse. The "goofs" page documents a few more items, but I imagine they also gave up after a while. Great fun!

Technically incorrect and disaster for Sci-Fi lover. In other hand people who would not understand that old ATX power supply has nothing to do with space shuttle or there is no gravity in orbit are not the watchers of this kind of movie. I like to remind some James Bond old parts where are no bad speculations and errors as much in this movie, even they "sell" advanced ideas for future. The play from actors was not bad at all. They did what was possible! I assume that this script could make way better movie if the technical side had some consulting from specialists. And of course more advanced computer graphics would be better too.