B. Monkey (1999)

Purely Joyful Movie!

The story-telling is good with flashbacks.The film is both funny and heartbreaking. You smile in a scene and get a soulcrushing revelation in the next.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

Very good movie overall, highly recommended. Most of the negative reviews don't have any merit and are all pollitically based. Give this movie a chance at least, and it might give you a different perspective.

Flipping channels one night, I came across a movie that promised Asia Argento, Rupert Everett and Johnathan Rhys-Meyers (big fan of his) and directed by the guy who did "Il Postino" so I decided to stick around and give it a chance. I should've watched trout fishing instead as that would've been more unpredictable than this. Argento is a revelation in this as she dominates each scene she's in and left me wanting more. Rhys-Meyers does well here as does Everett. The problem is that the movie is too predictable and the leading man is totally dull. When characters go on the run, of course the villains are going to catch up. When two totally different characters fall in love, of course they'll spend 1/3 of the movie arguing. When a thief says "this is my last job", of course you know it won't be. This screenplay seems to come out of a Cinema 101 course. Absolutely NOTHING original. There are tons of plot holes too. The most glaring is when Argento shows up at the house of a woman who threatens her boyfriend's job. How did she get the address? Did anyone re-read the script? Another note to filmmakers: Boring jazz makes boring movies. Jared Harris's choice of music almost put me to sleep. Is that really what you want your audience to do? John Carpenter used jazz in "The Fog" but it was nicely kept to the background but here it's annoying. If you're a fan of Argento, Everett or Rhys-Meyers then check out this movie. If you're not...well, there's always trout fishing. This is strictly a B-Movie that tries for atmosphere and action but just leaves you feeling bored.

Asia plays a thief who attempts to leave her old life behind when she meets a (frankly, very nerdish but goodhearted) teacher, but leaving her old life behind is no picnic.I like this film. I'm a huge Asia fan but I think some of her films stink (XXX and Red Siren leap to mind). I've heard rumors that this version of the film is heavily chopped and that director Radford isn't all that pleased with the finished product. But I don't think it shows that easily, it's damn fine as is.Asia is simply radiant in the lead role and pulls it off well. All others do a splendid job as well, particularly Rupert Everett. I think the story is quite nice, could have used some more complications but overall good. You really get to know Asia and Harris's characters and they grow quite nicely on you. It's mostly Everett's and Myers's characters that are somewhat left unexplained but the film doesn't suffer for it. I'd say this is a nice, effortless film to watch. You don't gain any greater knowledge from it, it's just entertaining, particularly if you like Asia.Overall I'm very satisfied with the film. Radford made Il Postino shortly before this so in my books he's a director to look for.7 out of 10, or roughly a B+.

Alan Furnace is a school teacher who's only joy in life is his late-night slot on hospital radio where he can play the light jazz he loves so much. Seeking more excitement in his life, he takes an interest in a collection of people in a local pub who the barman describes as "criminals". Despite this Alan approaches the woman of the group – the sexy and charming Beatrice, but is surprised when she responds to his advances. As he gets to know her, he uncovers a damaged soul with a murky past and dark present that perhaps he would be keep out of; however, as much as he is put off he is drawn in and soon finds himself involved deeper than he had ever planned.I'll be honest and say that I was only drawn to this film by the strange title; other than that I had no idea what it was about but decided to give it a stab anyway. However the film seems to be aiming for a mood rather than a narrative and, as a result, this film is more about the tone and feel and thus it fails to really engage because the story isn't there. Well, there is a story but it comes second to the mood and it isn't well developed, is full of illogical holes that just don't convince and feels like a mishmash of other films' ideas. It is interesting at points but ultimately it doesn't work. The film tries to be seedy and introspective, using smoky rooms, jazz and crime as motivators and the "normal guy" as our way in, but even this doesn't totally work and elements of it failing make it feel like it has all been forced from the start – certainly the choice of the jazz music is way off.However, as the title suggests, the film is more about Beatrice than the other characters and, as such, it is interesting enough even if she isn't as well developed a character as a "character driven film" would usually require. The performance from Argento is good and she has a real sexy presence that is more than just her taking her clothes off for the cameras – it is an aspect of her character that the film uses well. Harris is every bit as bland as the music he plays and he is the reason why I never bought the main relationship once – OK, she's after a "nice guy" but would she go for someone so very bland? The rest of the cast are colourful enough and do OK work with very basic material; Rhys-Meyers is good, Everett does his usual lazy, bi-sexual performance, Hart has a small role and the rest are just basic "East End thug" sorts.Overall this is a film to watch for the sexy, dark presence of Argento and that alone. Outside of her, the narrative is pretty weak and never really convinced me or involved me; the dramatic fireworks come and go without really doing much and by the end I was pretty bored by the whole affair. Argento and some of the support cast make it worth a go but, like Harris and his type of jazz music, this film is consistently bland and uninteresting.

On paper this looks like a good movie with Michael Radford directing an adaptation of an Andrew Davies novel but before the opening titles have even finished you find out what the fault of the movie is: Supply teacher Alan works at a hospital as the inhouse DJ and before you've even had time to digest this the action jump cuts to Beatrice and co carrying out a robbery , this is so much a shock in terms of juxtaposition it's like the channel has suddenly jumped to another station and you're watching another movie . Not only that but Beatrice's expositional voice over seems stilted and faintly ridiculous not helped by the fact that Asia Argento seems to have a problem saying the " F " word convincingly . Indeed none of the actors in this production seems to be able to swear with any conviction . Considering nearly every sentence contains expletives this is a serious problem with the movie But the dialogue is not the only serious problem ,there's serious signs of under development with the script . Check the scene where Beatrice and Alan meet for the first time . I guess it might have worked okay on paper but watching the scene on celluloid makes the whole scenario unlikely . And there's other scenes like this , for example Beatrice and her colleague turn up at the house of a parent who has made a complaint about Alan . No doubt Alan knows where the parent lives but there's no hint that Alan has passed this information to Beatrice so how would she know where to find the parent ? In a film where the audience are asking themselves where this bizarre and muddled plot is heading plot holes like this jump out of the screen and strangle the critical viewer Radford directs well but he's the wrong choice since B MONKEY seems to be attempting to be a chic British thriller with some black comedy thrown in , but the actors play their roles in a loud European way which contrasts with the British locations and language . One can't help feeling this movie would have worked far better if Davies novel had been transported to Paris or Rome with Radford employing a native cast speaking their own language . As it is B MONKEY is yet another messy Brit flick with a totally ill thought out script