Killer Bitch (2010)

A lot more amusing than I thought it would be.

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

The flimsy premise of the film is that you must kill five people or have your family and loved ones murdered. Ten minutes into this film you'll be perfectly willing to murder the entire cast.Crappy cockney misogynists and sad silicone titted "glamour models" arse about for an hour and a half in an amateur home movie that should/could really have been shot on a camera phone. Not even the dubious pleasure of seeing horrid wrinkly pornographer Ben Dover stabbed to death is enough to make this dire piece of dross worth watching.If you downloaded this movie illegally you've wasted your time. If you paid to watch it or, worse still, bought the DVD, you should really shoot yourself.It's THAT bad.

This took me back around 40 years to the British sexploitation boom. In fact this is better directed, by someone with a good feel for an eye-catching location. The "performances", however, are every bit as bad as the old days. The large cast seems to comprise hardly any pro actors. Instead they're former crims, boxers and porn models. ("Ben Dover", not listed here, is in an early sequence, having genuine sex that was then pruned for an "18" certificate). The players become very boring to watch, especially as there is no plot, just a succession of comic killings. It should also be mentioned that the "story" makes even less sense than perhaps originally intended because Alex Reid walked off the film after only a couple of his scenes had been shot. Apparently his then wife, Katie Price, wanted no association with a film publicised by the News of the World as "rape porn". (In fact Reid is not involved in any rape scene). Reid was replaced by several hard men including Robin Reid (no relation). Although "Killer Bitch" was barely released and has been vilified by the few who saw it, director Liam Galvin reunited most of his cast for "Mob Handed", now in production.

Not only is this the worst film I have EVER seen, It is quite possibly the worst film ever MADE! Even referring to this garbage as a "Film" is an overstatement. It seems as if the actors were plucked from an idiot convention, dragged onto the set, given their lines for the first time, and simply read them out in front of the camera and "Yeah brilliant take guys! we nailed it!" The ONLY plus point for me with this film was the fact that Alex Reid was hardly in it! His acting was actually worse than all of the rest of the cast (seriously... THAT bad...).The hardest part to believe about this film for me was that the director must of watched it back at some point, and actually WANTED to put his name on it. The "guns" used were atrocious, I used to own a more realistic cap gun when I was a child, they didn't even overlay the noise of a real gun you literally just hear a slight "pop" and then the guy being shot slowly lays on the floor.Now, I have nothing against low budget films, but if you MUST have shootings in your low budget film, at least use camera cuts so that you don't see the gun making no damage to the victim, in one of the scenes in a boxing ring, a guy is laying on the mat and is shot at point blank range in the stomach, NOTHING happens to him, no body jolts, no blood, just nothing, I mean come on, talk about bad movie making.I could rant about this feeble excuse of a film for hours, but the truth is, no matter what you read in this review, or no matter what people tell you about this film, it is far far worse than you could even imagine, I would recommend watching it JUST to see how impossibly bad it really is.This film actually made me angry, angry that this piece of crap actually had any budget at all, angry that it even got the 'go ahead', angry about the whole-new levels of cardboard acting, I honestly think you could not make a film as bad as this if you tried! Now to try and erase the memory of this despicable film from my brain...

To say this is awful is a total understatement. The acting and i use that term very loosely - is atrocious - surely they must have been embarrassed whilst filming this pathetic excuse for a 'film'. It is just one long disjointed scene of brain-dead moron 'hard men' criminals trying to out 'hard' each other and looking like retards. In that sense it is amusing- I have ticked the spoiler box as I'm mentioning things from the film- but there is nothing to spoil. A woman (desperately trying to look younger than she actually is (Whitney dressed as Britney)who for no reason at all is forced to kill people on a list or lots of whore models and photographers will die- even when she does kill the people on the list - her 'models' (slappers) still die. Mix in a 'scouser' idiot out for revenge for his girlfriend getting a struggle cuddle in a bar cellar! - The lamest rape scene ever- seen worse in a PG film!Avoid this- Alex Reid (Mr Jordan/transvestite) rolls around looking inept at fighting with people who no one really knows- but are obviously some underground 'hard men' or something- It all makes no sense- nothing is explained- or even attempted at being explained- just dreadful acting, dialogue, pathetic editing and pound land effects and sound dubbing. I guess it does have one use- IT SHOULD BE SHOWN TO MEDIA STUDENTS AS A "HOW NOT TO MAKE A FILM"