I Hate Valentine's Day (2009)

Please don't spend money on this.

In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

It's a good bad... and worth a popcorn matinée. While it's easy to lament what could have been...

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

NYC flower shop owner Genevieve Gernier (Nia Vardalos) loves Valentine's Day. She doesn't date anybody for more than five dates to avoid going stale. Greg Gatlin (John Corbett) quit his law firm and bought the nearby cursed restaurant. Greg buys flowers for his girlfriend and then discovers that she's not exclusive. He's intrigued with Genevieve's dating system and they start going out.This is written and made like a weak sitcom. Nia Vardalos faces an unPC problem of age and looks. She seems to have broken down a barrier with her big hit "My Big Fat Greek Wedding". However in MBFGW, she was a 30something homely spinster. She fits a lot better with that role and the family characters are vastly superior. It's seven years later. She's playing a flighty single with a flighty rule about dating. Her character has no heft and no substance. She should have let Zoe Kazan take the lead in this one. This is a clueless single gal sitcom and fortysomething Nia is too old to play that role. She can't be stuck on her daddy issues at that age without making it more interesting. I want better material for this lovable bunch.

One thing that I've noticed about a lot of comedies lately is a lack of comic energy. This movie has a nice energy, but unfortunately, it's not well written enough to back that up. The performances are okay--Nia Vardalos is a little too perky, and John Corbett pretty much plays the same character over and over again, so he's pretty good in this (he's had practice).Basically, the formula for a classic romantic comedy is: Good energy/pacing + impeccable performances + amazing writing.This movie doesn't really have the latter two, so it was doomed from the get-go--at best it will find a good run on Lifetime.Sorry.

The characters in this - lifetime-esque - romantic comedy are one huge cliché. The nosy gay guy bff's. The silly - slightly mental understudy who issues good advice. The almost 50 year old - 30 somethings. The angry but fun loving butcher, I mean the list goes on and on.The dialogue is setup for jokes that have been played so many times, it's just sickening. The lead - sex and the city guy - is one big pu*** The man deserves no play. Last time I checked, women don't like pushovers who get dumped.The florist job is ridiculous for someone who hates being in love. The lead is cute, but she takes way too much dress up to look good (did this movie budget thousands for her hair, makeup and wardrobe - Absolutely). She was a much better character when she was playing it real in her first movie, which much more believable and genuine.

I admit it. I'm a hopeless romantic. I proposed to my wife within a month of meeting her and we were married within 4 months. After 42 years of marriage we still hold hands over the dinner table, say "I love you" dozens of times a day and still weep tears of joy when we look into each others eyes. If you do the same, this film is for you.I Hate Valentine's Day is formulaic, predictable and lacks truly original characters. But what it lacks in these areas it makes up for in schmaltz. If you weep at silly love stories you'll weep for this one. If you smile when true love blossoms you'll smile here. On the other hand if you sneer at Capracorn like the second male lead, you'll sneer here. Personally, I wouldn't care to know the reviewers who give this film 1 or 2 stars.