Screwed (2000)

Thanks for the memories!

Powerful

A waste of 90 minutes of my life

This is a gorgeous movie made by a gorgeous spirit.

Remember when Norm MacDonald was funny? Okay, remember when people thought Norm MacDonald was funny? There was a time in the late- nineties/early-two-thousands he got the full post-SNL treatment: a few leads in a a bunch of little seen comedies, his own sitcom which lasted a few seasons and he even got a gig as Lucky the Dog in Doctor Dolittle (1998). Among his various appearances at that time was the 2000 flop Screwed co-starring Dave Chappelle, Danny DeVito and Elaine Stritch. In it Norm plays a mistreated chauffeur who kidnaps his boss's dog and holds it ransom. After a series of unfortunate events however, the dog winds up back home and the boss and authorities believe the chauffeur to be kidnapped.What sets Screwed apart from other SNL-themed dead-horse-beaters is its unpredictability. While the insanity never reaches an energetic crescendo, its never the fault of the winning script; written by Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski. You may recall they are the same writing partners that made Ed Wood (1994), The People Vs. Larry Flynt (1996) and Man on the Moon (1999). In Screwed their slumming not just as writers but as directors yet there's still a sly subtext of a desperate working class struggling against an uncaring bourgeoisie. It brings to mind Big Deal on Madonna Street (1958) among other Commedia all'italiana only set to American tastes.All the supporting cast members including and especially Elaine Stritch and Dave Chappelle have brought their A-game. Norm MacDonald stands as the only discord in this goofy farce about crime and desperation. That and perhaps the sloppy, almost Kevin Smith-like direction and cinematography. Other than that however, the movie is worth a second look or at the very least worth more than a 7% on rottentomatoes. Even Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) got away with a 19%.

The people who knock this movie have no sense of what makes a movie funny. Screwed was indeed funny, much more so than for example, Anchorman. Actually, everyone I know was laughing constantly throughout this terrific comedy! I'm not going to give anything big away, but after Norm McDonald and Dave Chappelle realize they have failed to kidnap Mrs. Crock's dog, Chappelle let's out one of the funniest one-liners that I have ever heard. We are talking non-stop laughs throughout this move. The plot is absurd, but this seriously added to the film's overall hilarity. If you miss this movie due to negative comments made by various users, you have truly done yourself an injustice.

Screwed is a hilarious comedy about a chauffeur named Willard who has been working for the same rich woman, Miss. Virgina Crock, for over 15 years. When he over hears a conversation about her firing him, he and his best Rusty friend decide to kidnap Crocks lovable dog for ransom. Things go awry and Crock thinks that Willard is the one who is kidnapped. As Rusty and Willard find out, they decide to up the ransom and try to make Crock pay for her bad deeds while the two friends are being pursued by the police, having to pay a crazy mortician Grover to help them in the plan, and make fake notes and videos with the kidnapper saying he'll kill Willard if he doesn't get his five million! Now this film is great! Norm is perfect as Willard and Chapelle always cracks me up with Rusty's one liners. Great jokes from the whole cast Examples: "Well he seemed a lot more ferocious when he was alive." "Feroucious, he's an old midget!", "Sweet Jesus, we kidnapped a turd.", Rusty always hits a man with a desk lamp when he is scared, Aunt Mable, Grover the mortician, "A pair of cracker jack cuff links and one crappy pie!", etc. Examples over. Now do yourself a favor and go out to get a copy of Screwed. Screwed gets the big 8, not perfect but it is a hilarious romp. You'll love it, I did. Enjoy!

SCREWED (2000) *1/2 Norm MacDonald, Dave Chappelle, Danny De Vito, Elaine Stritch, Daniel Benzali, Sherman Hemsley, Sarah Silverman.Norm MacDonald has had his shares of ups and downs over the past few years from his infamous `Saturday Night Live' stint as the smarmy `Weekend Update' anchor often resorting to the use of `crackwhore' as a punchline which led to his subsequent dismissal from NBC honcho Don Ohlmeyer to his redemption in supporter/comrade in arms David Letterman to his profanity laced college tours of stand-up - many met with violent reactions - to his current popular ABC sitcom `Norm' (which is on hiatus, but has been tailor-made and diluted to his brand of bad boy humor).However the same cannot be said of this second starring vehicle (the first `Dirty Work' sank like a stone a few years back) that offers nothing to laugh at. MacDonald stars as the long-suffering Willard Fillmore, valet to rich bitch bakery franchise magnate Virginia Crock (erstwhile vet Stritch) who finally cannot take any more of his whipping boy status even after hinting for the very least a new butler suit for Christmas (instead she gives him a mince meat pie and cuff links with her logo embossed). Fillmore enlists his best buddy Rusty (stand up Chappelle), a chicken restaurant owner, who suggest his pal to kidnap the old bat's nasty, puntable dog Muffin for ransom for some fast money to high tail it to tropical climes. Of course the two knuckleheads screw this up and wind up giving the impression Willard has been kidnapped. Crock decides to eschew the demands until Hillary (fellow `SNL' alum, the sexy Silverman) sees the home-made video Willard and Rusty have downloaded unto MSNBC of him in a cage being tormented. Hilary makes Willard a cause celebre by protesting Crock's factory with picket walkers and finally Crock relents only for Willard's plan back-firing (he's mugged by two 10 year olds with a hand zapper!) From there on the plot, such as it is, involves the services of grotesquely unkempt Grover, the local coroner's graveyard shift worker (De Vito in fright wig and looking really smelly) to provide a corpse looking like Willard for the final plan of action. The entire mess and laugh-free story is the collaboration of esteemed screenwriting team of Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski (`Ed Wood' and last year's Jim Carrey vehicle Andy Kaufman biopic `Man On The Moon') making their directing debut to boot. Obviously this must have been one of their early projects collecting dust in a drawer for years and figured to cash in on their sudden fame to make a quick shot at helmsmen. They fail miserably wasting such fine comic talent (especially the very underused Silverman, one of the funniest comediennes who's sporadically popped up here and there in films like `There's Something About Mary' as one of Cameron Diaz' clutch of catty friends or a semi-regular panel member on `Late Night with Conan O' Brien' plying her non-politically correct tirades.) `Screwed' is the ultimate bad title because not only are all those involved with this incredibly amateurish alleged comedy exactly that, but the audience as well who sits through this dreck (myself included!)