Python (2000)

I cannot think of one single thing that I would change about this film. The acting is incomparable, the directing deft, and the writing poignantly brilliant.

This story has more twists and turns than a second-rate soap opera.

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

The movie turns out to be a little better than the average. Starting from a romantic formula often seen in the cinema, it ends in the most predictable (and somewhat bland) way.

This movie is sort of interesting. I'm not saying it's good, but it's not that awful. Yeah bad acting. Special effects kind of suck. But if you start the movie, you probably won't stop it. Some of the stuff that happens is funny. If you're in the mood for something light, this wouldn't be bad. Basically a giant snake eats people in a town. Not that bad. A lot of things could have been better, but the movie is kind of fun. You might not want to watch the movie again, but you will remember it. Robert Englund does OK. Casper Van Dien is kind of stupid. And the sheriff is Billy Zabka, who was in the Karate Kid. It's a fun movie to check out, but it's one and done.

Small town locals and a scientist band together to hunt disown a giant snake after it breaks out of a military plane and kills a lesbian and her bisexual mate, the latter of which is the town slut, it's a tiresome running gag that she's been with everyone in the town.What works in this movie are Robert Englund and some fun snake kills, what didn't was pretty much everything else. The Lame jokes are especially horrid. However, for anyone who sincerely believes that this movie was atrocious, keep in mind that a lot of writer Phillip J Roth's later films were a million times worse. Besides ANY film where the hideously untalented Jenny Macarthy dies can't be all bad, right??Eye Candy: Loridawn Messuri and Sara Mornell get topless My Grade; C

What could be the greatest feature of this movie? Could it be the creepy performance of Robert Englund (soon to be seen in Zombie Strippers)? He is always enjoyable.Could be be the wacky performance of Jenny McCarthy (soon to be seen in Wieners)? She just can't seem to keep her head on straight.Could it be the interruption of a lesbian camping trip by something long and mysterious? No, the best feature of this movie was the towel that Theresa (Sara Mornell) somehow got and wrapped around her after the Python did a Psycho and interrupted her shower. When baby shampoo and a rubber ducky didn't stop the snake, which no one else seemed to be able to escape. She manges to grab a towel and get it wrapped around her while the monster was attacking, get by the snake, run through the basement and the house, get in a car, drive speeding down the road with the snake on her tail, crash the car and run into the rocks - and she never lost that towel! Other than that, it was pretty lame and predictable.

Python is not a film that can be fairly rated based on normal film standards. Instead it must be rated on what are called "party standards." Party standards represent how much fun you would have watching this film at a crazy party. From the opening Lesbian scene (my name is Roberta), to Kenny the Closer's attempt at an affiar, Python is an absolute blast to watch with friends. Unfortunately, I must rate it based on normal movie standards. The acting is below Uwe Boll standards. The special effects are far below Uwe standards. The whole movie is something that would've come out of Uwe Bolls butt on a bad day. The attempts at comedy are much funnier than intended. The attempts at horror are funnier than intending. The attempts at drama aren't there. The whole movie is bad, bad, bad. But go ahead. Rent it with a bunch of your friends. Just prepare yourself for a film that has a better chance of killing you with excessive laughter than Borat.