Van Helsing (2004)

Great example of an old-fashioned, pure-at-heart escapist event movie that doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and has boat loads of fun being its own ludicrous self.

Exactly the movie you think it is, but not the movie you want it to be.

The acting in this movie is really good.

The thing I enjoyed most about the film is the fact that it doesn't shy away from being a super-sized-cliche;

I had such anticipation for this film, having heard it was going to be directed by the guy who gave us The Mummy and The Mummy Returns. More of the classic Universal monsters in one film. Frankenstein, the werewolves, and Dracula. And Hugh Jackman as the monster slayer. Plus lots of Eastern European sets. It may not be an Oscar contender but it did its job as a popcorn film that could entertain those who don't want to think hard. It's also good for those of you who didn't care for the Mummy due to the casting of Brendan Fraser as the main character. Even though I did enjoy Van Helsing, I hoped that there'd be a better plot. But it's good as a popcorn film, as previously stated. If you liked the classic Universal monsters and want action, or if you're following Stephen Sommers, give this a go. If you expected something deep or intellectual, no deal.

If you're after high art, or even much of a plot, this isn't the movie for you. Its silly to the point of being utterly ridiculous at points, and the CGI does NOT stand the test of time. But it really is worth watching just to see Richard Roxburgh - a truly talented actor - almost literally chew on the scenery playing Dracula.

Fun fact: the basic telephone was invented before the events in this film. This led us all to believe Hugh Jackman could have easily phoned his performance in, in-between Wolverine performances. Annnd he did.Please ignore the terrible CGI. And yeah, it's probably the worst you'll ever see. (Why oh why didn't they make this animated????!) The movie, unlike many films, actually gets progressively better.I grew up on "monster movies." In my household, it had to be as G-rated as possible, like the 1930's Universal monsters to the 50s-70s Godzilla films. So, it was kinda nice to rekindle with many of the bigger name Universal monsters here. With the help of a comedic-sidekick, I could make it through to the end.The Film's Title has a past he can't remember and believably, it doesn't really matter. He's just out to rid the Earth of baddies. Apparently, he's never been sent up against the original horror villain, Dracula, so let's make this movie. Oh, and he'll need Underworld, the horror version of Q and Young Frankenstein's clone to take on Bram Stoker's sorta creation of destruction. Honestly, this is good for kids. Really, really young ones. Older ones would scoff at the terrible graphics. It's not a bad movie, per se, it's just so horribly drawn due to the fifty cents spent on the special effects. Too bad...because they're laughably bad and distracting. The movie's harmless, really. It's not superior, but everyone's, well, HEART is in the right place. ***Final thoughts: A friend recommended this to me. I instantly complained on how bad the CGI was on the Werewolves. Literally, I have not seen this movie since theatres 14 years ago and that's all l I could recount. Well, that and that I thought it was just okay. Watching it for only the second time in nearly a decade and a half, I realized, it's not THAT bad of a film and there were FAR WORSE CGI shots than just the werewolf scenes. Oh, and it's more than two hours. Far too long!

Stephen Sommers goes for broke with this big-budget monster mash, filmed in exactly the same vein as his MUMMY remake and just as disappointing. Things begin quite promisingly with a homage to the Universal classics of the 1930s but rapidly descend into inanity, as one hurried action sequence follows another with no logic, reason or plot to be seen at any point. The film is noisy, special effect-filled and totally lacking in characterisation or story, as superhero Van Helsing (renamed Gabriel – did they not have the rights to the character or something?) battles not only Dracula but werewolves and Frankenstein's Monster too (incorrectly called Frankenstein in one scene).The movie lasts for an astonishing two hours without offering anything new at all – you really will have seen everything that's on offer here. There are blatant rip-offs throughout and a lack of common sense on the part of the director that is really annoying – you can just picture him saying "let's have that woman fall off the roof and jump down a tree! cool!" Hugh Jackman is pretty wooden as the hero, but who can blame him given the material, whilst Kate Beckinsale does ridiculous rather well. Richard Roxburgh, an actor who I really liked in MOULIN ROUGE, is similarly awful as camp goth-vamp Dracula, whilst David Wenham, gives the best performance as the comic relief. The special effects are wicked, as you would expect given the budget – those werewolf transformations are particularly good – although the flying female vampires look a little too CGI for my liking. Sadly, the said effects don't save what is essentially a dog of a film.