Canes (2006)

best movie i've ever seen.

The film makes a home in your brain and the only cure is to see it again.

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

"The Covenant: Brotherhood Of Evil" has basically the same title as the "gay" "The Covenant", but it's different.The Plot: David Goodman (Furlong) is a young businessman on the rise. He's blinded by a random criminal and he wants revenge. He then meets Guillermo List (Madsen) who gives him an evil cane (yes, a walking cane...) to exact his vengeance. But it gets out of hand and now the powers of evil are after him! As you can tell, the plot to this cinematic sludge is silly. If you want a good laugh, watch this. Furlong is miscast and he looks awful. He's packed on some weight and the suits he wears in the film are so tight on him, they're bursting at the seams. Madsen is okay, but once again he's there for a paycheck. He does have obviously fake facial hair. It looks glued on.Overall, "The Covenant: Brotherhood Of Evil" is a very ridiculous film that's worth watching for the unintentional laughs.For more insanity, check out: comeuppancereviews.com

Looking at the IMDb-page I noticed that the current grade of this movie is a 3. After even more research, I found out that 24 people voted a 10/10 for this movie. All I have to say about that is these people must have been on some very crazy drugs...This movie is horrible, but this movie is so stupid and crap that it makes you search for new ways to describe its level of shittyness. The plot of this mess makes as much sense as making a movie about killer tooth-picks or something. The acting is almost to the point where its nonexistent. If I would walk onto the street and ask a random person to act like he was possessed I would probably get better results then the acting being performed in this movie. The thought that the people starring in this movie even got paid is simply mindboggling to me.Whatever you thought this movie was going to be like when you saw the title or saw the poster or anything is not true. Its not some hidden gem of a movie that rarely people speak about, Its a waste of time and it holds no entertainment value.Oh wait, scratch that. Those special effects were kinda funny...

The PR David Goodman (Edward Furlong) expects to be promoted in the agency where he works but he loses the opportunity to his colleague Tony (Tobias Mehler). While upset at home with his wife Lisa (Chandra West), David sees a man near his car; when he approaches, the stranger sprays some chemicals on his face and David becomes blind. Later David receives a message in his answering machine with the proposal of Dr. Guillermo List (Michael Madsen) for recovering his vision and he offers anything to regain his sight. Dr. List gives an ancient cane with a devil face to David that recovers his eyesight but is possessed by an evil demon, ascending in his career but with a high-price."Canes" is really a bad movie: first there are many stories of evil covenants or secret societies; therefore the plot is not even original. The flawed screenplay is terrible, with an imbecile development, characters that comes and dies without any consequence, unanswered situations, silly twists, a corny conclusion associated to very poor special effects. There is one specific scene that is absolutely ridiculous, when Lisa is stabbed with David's cane on her chest and then she runs like hell without any blood or consequences. But the worse is the acting, mainly of the lead and once promising actor Edward Furlong; he is awful, completely miscast for the role of David Goodman, shorter than Chandra West and wearing a suit that probably belongs to his father. The decadent Michael Madsen keeps the (low) level of his last performances and Chandra West is the best that this movie may offer to the viewers. My vote is three.Title (Brazil): "O Escolhido" ("The Chosen")

I gave this movie 2 stars instead of only 1 because I expected a horror movie, but got a comedy instead! The most horrifying character in the movie is Edward Furlong's over-sized suit. It was so ridiculous, it became a character of its own. Even when he starts to make more money, the suits actually get worse. Although this movie has no chance of ever being good, it would have been much better with no special effects at all. Every snarl of the cane was at best a laugh, if not a cringe.If you *must* watch this movie, do so with a glass of beer and a sense of humor. You're going to need it.