Coweb (2009)

Surprisingly incoherent and boring

Such a frustrating disappointment

How sad is this?

Good concept, poorly executed.

Ninja Masters is yet again further proof that Americans, it seems, have great difficulty attempting to market products from overseas (no offense). Korean movies, like The Voice and The Wig both, respectively, when released in America, received incredibly violent covers, despite the general lack of blood present in both features. In the case of this particular martial arts film, to title it Ninja Masters would be like calling me an astronaut - it is false advertising at its most ridiculous.Initially titled Coweb when released in Asia, this is an entertaining martial arts feature, and though not the greatest movie in the genre, it certainly deserves to be viewed. I might be criticized for writing this, but I wasn't a huge fan of The Protector, a movie this particular film can be contrasted with: in both titles, a brilliant martial artist goes out of their way to save those they've been tasked to protect. Although the choreography, action scenes and direction could not be faulted, I found much of the dialogue in The Protector to be rather uninteresting, and many of the individuals involved to be severely lacking characterization.Although a similar argument regarding character depth could be made concerning Coweb, the frequency and focus on the fights make up for any lacking substance, and entertainingly keeps the audience vested. The fights do occasionally go for longer than they probably should, and during other moments, it is unfortunately obvious no contact is actually made during a physical altercation, an irritating fact furthered when some characters are kicked backwards, occasionally appearing as though they're either on wires, or jumped at their own volition.This aside, the use of slow motion that is occasionally employed accentuates the speed and agility of the combatants, while the use of ambient sound during one scene, rather than non-diegetic resources, assists in thrusting the viewer right into the middle of the fights. Although each of the fights are very obviously filmed on sets, the film offers a range of locations, including a traditional fighting ring, a disco club, and a street tourists generally flock towards, the vivid incorporation of color adding an additional visual treat for the senses.Story-wise, Nie (Jiang Luxia) is an exceptional Wushu trainer, who, after coincidentally bumping into an old acquaintance, is allowed the opportunity to demonstrate her skills, alongside other adept fights, in an attempt to acquire a position as the bodyguard to Ho Kwon (Cheung Siu-Fai), a well respected and revered business man.Nie, an attractive and honorable individual, who desperately needs the money in order to restore the martial arts academy developed by her father, accepts the offer, however it doesn't take long before her skills are put to the test. When Kwon is abducted, Nie goes to extraordinary lengths to reacquire him, in the process discovering that the kidnappers are directly linked with an online fighting ring, that she will have to descend into if it means saving the man she has sworn to protect with her life.Over the course of the film, there are a number of predictable moments, including the ending, which doesn't offer a total sense of completion, while on other occasions, annoyingly, characters are unable to see the obvious surprises coming to fruition, though some of them are equally well hidden. Potentially, the film could be accused of revealing some plots a littler too hastily, the decision to hold some moments back for a while longer perhaps been something deftly advantageous the writers ought to have considered. Adjunctively, there are occasions when further explanation might have been a requirement: an example would be when Nie finds herself up against dozens of antagonists, and pulls nunchucks out of, well, to be honest, I'm still unsure where.Over the course of the title, Ms Luxia is very impressive, her commanding stance being equaled by the confidence she displays in her abilities. Ms Luxia brilliantly coveys emotion through facial and bodily expression, the piano soundtrack that accompanies some of the films more story-oriented moments establishing her personal journey and proficiency, alongside the internalized struggle of what humanity will remain of her once all the fighting is over.Despite other martial arts features offering material that is potentially more outstanding, there are several moments in the film where Coweb will leave you breathlessly riveted. Though the story is limited in its capacity to hold one's attention, Ms. Luxia not only commands the screen, but is easy on the eyes as well (actually, she's gorgeous), and it's peculiar this talented young woman hasn't appeared in more films. Although Coweb won't appeal to everyone, it certainly doesn't deserve to be discarded simply because American public relations specialists have little idea how to market this product.

I love Ninja movies. Like the ones in the 80's with Sho Kosugi. So I was quite excited when I saw Ninja Masters in the local Walmart. After all these years they have made another Ninja movie. In the year 2013 Ninja movies are a forgotten breed. So I pay the $14.99 and take the movie home. And I sit back and watch it. And I was entirely disappointed. There was not a single Ninja in the movie. The cover of the DVD shows a dude in full black Ninja uniform with katana in hand, yet there was not a single Ninja anywhere in the movie. The star of the show, fought her way through many opponents from literally start to finish but she never used "intonjitsu/Ninja magic" and change herself in a nice fully uniformed Ninja, bristling with Sais,Stars and or Katana. As far as a martial arts movie goes, this one had plenty of action, but it was not a NINJA movie.

Anyone remotely familiar with the Hong Kong action industry during the 1980s and early 1990s should know that the pool for martial arts actors was overflowing with capable talent. Pick your poison: Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Sammo Hung, Yuen Biao, Donnie Yen, Collin Chou, Ken Lo, etcetera ad infinitum. In like manner, there were a number of martial arts actresses floating around: Yukari Oshima, Moon Lee, Michelle Yeoh, Cynthia Rothrock, and Joyce Godenzi, to name but a few. Unfortunately, the girls were not allowed to attain their full potential because the directors and producers were either too stupid or too incompetent to use them properly, opting to saturate their films with boring filler material and lame humor. How many times did Moon Lee and Yukari Oshima sign for the same film, only to then fight for a grand total of 2 friggin minutes over the course of a 90 minute running time? I honestly lost count, and it really ticks me off because Yukari and Moon should have accounted for at least 30 minutes of action per movie. There's no excuse for falling short of that quota, and these "Golden Age" directors/producers should be ashamed of themselves for essentially wasting these actresses careers.If there's one type of action movie that really hits the spot for me, it's the "girls with guns" or "girls kick a$$" subgenre. Some of my favorites involve non-athletic actresses, but there's something really special about watching a highly athletic girl strut her stuff without the help of stunt doubles. JeeJa Yanin, in and of herself, demands excitement after her phenomenal debut in "Chocolate" (2008). And despite the fact that the pool of martial arts actresses is very thin at the moment, Luxia Jiang has impressively demonstrated her abilities in "Coweb" (2009).A female bodyguard attempts to rescue her kidnapped boss. It's no understatement to say that this film is as action-packed as humanly possible. Within the opening 15 minutes the viewer is treated to a brutal, lengthy kitchen fight and the subsequent brawls (in a knee-deep water pit at a disco, at a warehouse, on a bamboo scaffold, in a marketplace with breakdancers, etc.) follow in quick succession. The plot simply serves the purpose of transporting our heroine from one clash to the next, which isn't a problem for fans of no-brain action. Jiang is a highly athletic specimen who easily carries the film on her back. Her spin kicks are awesome, and she breaks out a few nifty acrobatic jumps. There are other flaws here for sure. Direction and sound design are amateurish, wires are used regularly, and the martial arts choreography is a bit repetitive at times (more variety would have been nice), but this is very entertaining fare that will please those viewers who love to see girls kick a$$.It's definitely nice to see that modern filmmakers are capable of avoiding the same mistakes of those during the "Golden Age." I'm sure lots of people will complain about the weak plot and characters in "Coweb", but a non-stop exhibition of girl-inflicted destruction is a major rarity in the world of cinema. How many more crappy big-budget Hollywood action flicks (with actresses who have ZERO talent) do you need to watch before appreciating a Luxia Jiang or JeeJa Yanin flick? I've seen more than enough already to fully appreciate these girls. If they are fortunate enough to each make one action-packed film per year over the next decade, I'll be in heaven.

This effort, directed by newcomer Xin Xin Xiong, takes movie-making down many notches beyond amateur. Nothing in the movie makes any sense at all.Nie Yiyi (Jiang Lu Xia) is a skilled martial arts expert working as a security guard after her father's death. A childhood friend, Zhong Tien (Sam Lee), who works as a personal assistant to billionaire Mr He (Eddie Cheung), persuades Yiyi to become a bodyguard to Mr He's wife. Reluctantly Yiyi accepts and she takes her job very seriously.When both her bosses are kidnapped by a gang of thugs at a restaurant, Yiyi blames herself for it and goes all out to trace the culprits. She is dissuaded from contacting the police by Zhong Tien - and the two follow dubious leads that involve duels at a disco, on top of bamboo scaffoldings, alleyways and bridges. Yiyi soon discovers that all her fights are being recorded on video by a gambling syndicate and streamed over the Internet for people to bet on. And yes, Coweb alludes to Combat Web! There are very few hits but a whole lot of misses. For one, director Xiong mistakes kungfu talent for acting talent and casts newcomer Jiang Lu Xia in such a demanding role. Going through the paces with just one or two expressions (like looking angry and angrier), she fails miserably of course. Jiang's claim to fame was showing off her martial arts skills on the Internet and competing on Jackie Chan's "The Disciple" TV series (a hunt for the next big Hong Kong kungfu star). She can fight but she can't act to save her life.Next, the dialogue is appalling and you just can't believe the moronic stuff that the director allows to get into the movie. Xiong has one of the baddies go through a door cartoon-style with a cut-out hole; he has Jiang playing a bodyguard without any firearms or contact with the authorities; he portrays Yiyi as an utter idiot believing and following ridiculous leads and clues when the obvious could be seen a mile away; and no attempt is made to explain how the gambling scam works.However, the most unforgivable flaw is the badly filmed martial arts action. Ever since Raging Bull in 1980, directors and cinematographers have learnt to dramatise the scenes with close-up and slow-motion shots, not to mention CGI-enhanced views to excite our senses. The action here is repetitive and boring, except for a brawl at the bamboo scaffoldings. It is obvious Xiong tries to imitate Jackie Chan's comic 'kungfu' tricks but again, he fails miserably due to poor timing. Jiang is not good enough to carry the movie and Xiong has no idea how to direct a modern martial arts thriller.