Ring of Steel (1994)

To me, this movie is perfection.

Please don't spend money on this.

Absolutely Fantastic

It’s sentimental, ridiculously long and only occasionally funny

Had a hard day at work? Want an every man's character to help you vent, but don't want to have to solve all the world's problems tonight? This movie will get you in the popcorn and soda mood for a night in and off your hard working feet, even if the kids are hanging around, no need to boot them out. Oh strike that, one quick adult part, you can cover the kids eyes or send them to get you a beer. Filmed in 1994, this is a fun blast from the past with faces from the era. A note to people from the upper northern mid-west with harsh winters, there are scenes of summer, which may relieve your cabin fever. Watch a little eye candy and sword play for both the guys and the gals. Satisfying plot with a classic Ford Mustang Cameo. What more do you need for a Friday night date with your TV?

"Death Just Became A Spectator Sport!" Allez: "Ring Of Steel" is classier than average direct to video fair. Just imagine the structure of a classic punchfighting movie (see: pretty much everything we've written) but instead of punchfighting, it is sword-fighting. Well, to be perfectly accurate, it is more like "fence-fighting".Alex Freyer (Chapin) is on top of the world: He's a champion fencer on his way to Olympic gold, and he keeps his many fencing trophies right on his coffee table in the living room. He just met his new girlfriend at a fencing tourney, and his mullet is lookin' awesome in the cool breeze. His dreams are shattered when his bouton breaks and his riposte goes horribly, horribly wrong, and he accidentally stabs his opponent in the eye, killing him.Alex is depressed and contemplates throwing out his fencing outfit for good. One day Alex is walking down a dark alley at night (bad idea) and is about to be mugged by some local street toughs. For some reason, Joe Don Baker shows up in his limo and announces "I've been following you.". Why Joe Don didn't show up at Alex's house is unknown. He invites Freyer and his girlfriend, Elena to his underground fence-fighting club. Like Alex's mullet, it is a business in the front and an illegal fence-fighting party in the back.In true "Lone Tiger" tradition, the big boss man says the hero is "The Best" and then grooms him to the "Best". Isn't he already the best? After Alex does a few exhibition matches, Elena balks and doesn't want him to fight anymore. Naturally the bad guys kidnap her and force Alex to participate in an arbitrary number of matches before they release her.Can he thrust and parry his way to freedom? The main fencing baddie is a meathead who wears a "shirtless shirt" and who has wide array of, not "Cosby Sweaters" but "Cosby Vests". Baker plays "The Man In Black". That's his name in the movie. Baker is a kinder, gentler sort of baddie and black is quite slimming. His bodyguard looks like a cross between Allen Kalter and Robert Loggia and he makes funny faces.Other notable characters include an overweight LARP'er who dreams of being a barbarian (imagine a live-action version of "Comic Book Guy" from "The Simpsons"). He stumbles into the wrong salle, and he unfortunately gets slain in real life. Alex makes a friend in the theatrical fencer Brian (Jim Pirri). When Shirtless Shirt kills him, Alex grieves the only way he can: fencing practice.In all comes to a head when cops get wise to the "Ring Of Steel". The final confrontation is in the same steam factory from "Cobra" (1986).This is Chapin's first role and he is more a fencer than an actor. When his character is not pretending to be a pirate, he is doing fan favorite yell "Noooooooo!" Shout "En Garde" while you are watching this movie tonight!

OK, the plot was a bit predictable, but I loved the sword fights in this movie. It's every "what if" a bunch of martial artists could come up with (OK, who would win in a fight: a barbarian or a ninja?). I especially liked the fight between Alex and Brian as an homage to The Court Jester, and the bit with the auditioning roll-player.Interestingly enough, although Robert Chapin (the star) is credited with writing the movie, it's not widely known that his version was a dark psychological drama in which Alex gets sucked so deeply into the world of drugs, money, women and blood sport, that when he is finally reunited with Elena, he doesn't even recognize her. When MCA bought it, they deemed that version WAY too dark. So they hired a "writer" to clean it up, and they turned it into the sanitized hero plot that we see here.So, go easy on the guy. He had to watch someone else re-write his story, and then he had to actually SAY those predictable lines. Overall, it's a fun sword flick!

While the only two known names in this film are Joe Don Baker and Carol Alt, it certainly is not lacking in talent. Robert Chapin and Jim Perri and fabulous together. Their swordfight in the ring is athletic, funny, difficult, excellent! The end left the door wide open for a sequel. Well, Bob, we're waiting...