99 and 44/100% Dead (1974)

Instant Favorite.

As somebody who had not heard any of this before, it became a curious phenomenon to sit and watch a film and slowly have the realities begin to click into place.

The film's masterful storytelling did its job. The message was clear. No need to overdo.

It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,

Too bad one of those good things wasn't this movie, my thoughts, as Richard Harris spoke the above line, and my anxiousness for the end growing as the film dragged on. This mob spoof overstays its welcome, although the opening shot of the Hudson River graveyard is an interesting (and absurdly comical) shot of cement shoed statues, their ghostly torsos clad with Medusa like wild hair, some decomposing, a few others fish food. As for the plot, basically a mob war that nobody can win, it is so oddly presented that you have to wonder if this is what director John Frankenheimer ("The Manchurian Candidate", "Seven Days in May") thought of as comedy.Black comedy works best when it deals in irony, but this view of entirely unlikable people in ugly situations results in utter disgust towards the proceedings, not ironic whimsy. The film's most amusing scene (barely so) is the handicapped hit-man Chuck Connors' briefcase of arm attachments, some crude, some comical. Veteran actor Edmund O'Brien offers a minor touch of class as the big boss, with Constance Ford (coming back to films after a decade on daytime soaps, most notably as the tough but loving matriarch on "Another World") playing a stereotypically hard-boiled madame predictably named Dolly. As for leading lady Ann Turkel, the less said the better.

John Frankenheimer's post modern stab at the crime genre comes hot off the heels of Michael Ritchie's Prime Cut (from the same author no less), only the tone is more cutesy and the body count is nearly tripled. After a Pycal-inspired opening and an excellent underwater graveyard montage, we are introduced to pearly pistol gripped gangster Richard Harris who's en route to Chicago (?) to help win a dangerous mob war. The substandard mafia plot sits second tier to the film's sporadic comedy spoofing and mugging, much of what both fails and succeeds simultaneously at the hands of its dramatic director who must have been at the peek of his well publicized cocaine binge. Harris, with his balding curl mullet and wide-brimmed glasses resembles a young Michael Caine or Woody Allen depending on the lighting and camera angle, but performs his actions and delivers his dialog like a stone cold stoic; the juxtaposition is startling and dare I say cool as hell. Action scenes come out of nowhere and are framed and executed with professionalism, including a crazy ambush on an elevated bridge, and Chuck Conner's interchangeable James Bond claw which can alternate between knives and sex toys given the occasion. Much maligned and obscure gem. The skeletal dead humans and accompanying narrator reminds me of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride at Disneyland.

Basically, the film is the age-old theme of a struggle for power between two rival gangs, one led by Uncle Frank (Edmond O'Brien) and the other by Big Eddie (Bradford Dillman). Uncle Frank hires professional killer Harry Crown (Richard Harris), while Big Eddie sends for Marvin "Claw" Zuckerman (Chuck Connors).People get shot, dynamited, beaten up and blown sky-high… There's a whole bordello full of beautiful gir1s called "Dolly's Incorporated" and plenty of fighting between Harris and Connors… The mixture as before? Well, yes, except that Frankenheimer has tended to film this as a satire on gangsters…The gangster film has changed, because gangsters themselves have changed… Al Capone is long dead… The Godfather, Scarface, The Last Don, The Untouchables have taken his place… Edward G. Robinson has gone and Cagney too…But the gangster film will continue. "Get this, pal – it'll kill you." It sure will

The critics hate this movie (Maltin included) because they can't place it in a category. It is not a serious mob film (Godfather) nor is it a comedy (Johnny Dangerously) nor is it bumbling mob dark comedy (a la the recent Bruce Willis - Matthew Perry vehicle). Rather this is a cartoon. Note the introductory cartoon credits. The opening underwater scenes (two) and closing scene (envelope construction) are absolutely unique to American filmcraft and you don't know whether to laugh or be horrified. The lead character is an Englishman, brought over by an American mob boss and who must take off his glasses to shoot and carries automatic pistols with flowers carved in the ivory grips. Is this over the top or what? The enemy hitman has a hook (due to an amputation at our hero's hands) which he replaces with a wine bottle opener, artifical flowers, pruning shears, etc. Our hero also has a much younger, beautiful girlfriend (daytime teacher - nighttime club dancer wearing a feather top) who waits for his return hoping that this time he will make her his own (see 1000 other movies with that same device). Our hero tutors the younger mob wiseguy and both their girlfriends are kidnapped and abused by Mr. Big. Okay, so some of the movie is cliche and some is esoteric. The ambush at the bridge sequence is as visually stunning as any serious mob film. The shootout at the laundry scene is as good as the same scene in The Fugitive or the ending to Terminator. The sequence where Harry is pinned down by a sniper and his boss resces him by pulling up in an armored Rolls-Royce is great as the actors have their conversation while rounds skip off the roof. This is then followed by driving down a would be bomber who carries a bundle of dynamite like Wyle E. Coyote. Being filmed in Seattle, Florida and Los Angeles you never know whether you are supposed to be in New York or Chicago or where. Look for a Confederate Battle Flag during the parade scene where Harry re-enters the crowd. Look for Burt Young (Paulie from Rocky) as an uncredited mobster escorting Harry to see Bradford Dillman. You will be watching a one-of-a-kind movie, maybe not great or even good, but a movie unlike any other. Enjoy it for what it is.