Beneath Loch Ness (2001)

Waste of time

Sadly Over-hyped

Excellent, Without a doubt!!

Fanciful, disturbing, and wildly original, it announces the arrival of a fresh, bold voice in American cinema.

One or two posters (including the director) try to stick up for this. Forget it; you end up watching open-mouthed, like the audience in The Producers.Okay, Loch Ness is on a fault line, and Scotland does have the odd quake (very tiny ones). But this lake is about as bad a Loch Ness lookalike as you could find if you really tried, and the locals walking clichés that make Brigadoon look authentic. The performances are beyond bad, the accents far worse than most Americans can manage, the effects are more prehistoric than the monster, the continuity isn't, underwater scenes aren't, nobody bothered about even the simplest giveaways (money, cars, ambulance) and the script's not so much derivative as cut-and-paste. Okay, it isn't the hate-filled insult to the Scots someone claims; it's just turkey-brained. It's not a matter of budget -- look at Lake Placid -- or the UK cut; the US one's just as bad. The poor director evidently just doesn't realise what he's done. I thought Aztec Rex and Stonehenge Apocalypse kept the spirit of Ed Wood alive, but this resurrects him.

Bad movies are always best when the director, writer or *somebody* connected to the production feels they have "something to say", or when the filmmakers believe they're making a better movie than they are. Failing that bad movies can be enjoyable by being either goofy and fun or outrageous and eccentric.This movie, unfortunately, is none of those things. Everyone involved seems to have had a pretty good idea that they were just punching a clock to fill an hour and a half on the sci-fi channel or something. The "best" part is the badly aged (and poorly done even for a decade ago) CGI, but there's not enough of that to salvage it. Don't waste your time on this turkey.

As a Scot, when I saw this film, I was left numbed at how shocking it was and I don't mean that in a good way. This 'film' (and I use that term in the loosest sense of the word) is not only an insult to Scotland but it is embarrassing for the Hollywood producers and actors involved in this project.Aside from the fact the storyline dire and the acting utterly bland, the special effects look as if they were put together by three-year-olds on their nursery school computer . However, the most pathetic point about this film was the fact it clearly was not set anywhere remotely near the UK, let alone Loch Ness. It was bad enough that the cast were mainly Americans (or Americans with bad accents) but the cars drove on the wrong side of the road, the police wore American uniforms and little effort was made to even pretend the American location of this film was supposedly Scotland. Then you had the stereotypical Scots who graced the background every so often; I honestly was waiting for them to shout 'och, aye the noo' then do the Highland fling in their kilt with the haggis dancing by their sides.Take a leaf out of Nessie's book when it comes to 'Beneath Loch Ness' and hide far, far away from it (although Scots may want to see it with the view that it is pure comedy in a 'so bad it's good' way).

What a complete turkey!One of the all-time worsts with the two "name" actors (Bergin and Anthony) appearing only briefly in the first half, but compensating for this later with frantic scenery chewing. (Bergin in a kilt with blue-painted face is certainly a sight to remember.)In addition: an incoherent plot, frequent continuity errors, laughable effects and unbelievable locations even for one who has never been to Scotland.Only possible things of interest: a totally unnecessary wet T-shirt scene and an uncredited Robert Foxworth in the shower.Avoid at all costs! (Especially if you are Scottish and take pride in your land and its people.)