The Time Guardian (1989)

That was an excellent one.

Terrible acting, screenplay and direction.

Just what I expected

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

The Time Guardian is notable for sci fi fans for the casting of two of its cast members Carrie Fisher and Dean Stockwell. For Carrie Fisher this is a non-Star Wars science fiction movie, if not the only one to feature her. As The Time Guardian involves time travel, Dean Stockwell will return to this territory more frequently in Quantum Leap. For an Australian science fiction film, The Time Guardian seems like a wasted opportunity. Its only saving grave is with the casting of Nikki Coghill as Annie. Nikki is the only thing that of worth about The Time Guardian especially when she shows off her beautiful breasts when swimming topless. As a result of this I love Nikki very much.

While "The Time Guardian" is never actively bad enough to annoy or anger viewers, more likely than not viewers will be disappointed with it. The biggest fault is with the script. For one thing, while the story (sort of) makes sense in the beginning, by the end of the movie viewers will be downright confused with the many details that were vague or necessary but simply not there at all. Also, the big stars of the movie, Dean Stockwell and Carrie Fisher, are wasted in minor roles that have no real impact to the rest of the movie. And the major characters aren't that interesting or fleshed out well. But the script is not the only thing to blame. The movie is directed in a manner that sorely lacks urgency and excitement. As it is, the movie just plods along in a casual manner. Is there anything of merit in the movie? Well, for a movie that cost just a fraction of a major Hollywood movie, the sets, costumes, and assorted special effects do look pretty good. But a pretty look does little when you don't care about the characters or story.

Starring Carrie Fisher and Dean Stockwell (more or less, because their scenes look as if they were all filmed in one day). It's kind of a cross between 'Terminator' and 'Star Wars'. It's an Australian movie, and somewhere in between the male lead that walks around without his shirt on, or the female who decides to go swimming (without her top on and stuff) our plot continues.The Guy and Carrie, were sent to the past to stop something that wouldn't have happened if they didn't go into the past, I think. To look like they are from the times (he, he) Carrie wears a metallic wonder bra and the Guy wear the same, only a flatter one. They are given proper clothing by Australian natives who know more about what's happening then us. Meanwhile, Carrie trades an arm band with the REAL female lead, and basically tells her that she should go swimming with the male lead. Which she does, luckily this scene is cut short, as in THE FUTURE, a clone voiced Darth Vader/Robot has a grimy worm stuck up his nose, and yells bloody hell at everyone before going into the past.Guy and Gal, are mistaken for the death of a trucker killed by robots, the sheriff beats Guy and Gal up and accidentally makes the arm band set off a beeper that makes the robots look around like it was a dog whistle. Then Dean is very sad, as we cut to our hero who even though is trained by a kung fu master, beats up the blameless Maybury-like sheriff while his entire town blows up. Our hero gleefully yells his "I told you so" speech to the Sheriff for not understanding that Guy was a warrior from the future. Everyone from the future comes to 1988 and lots of booms go off.The major sad part of the movie is when Carrie Fisher sacrifices herself by jumping on the half human/half robot thing with crab arms for no reason at all, and gets the jam squeezed out of her.Then Dean is confused, and speaks some, then smiles, while our hero guy does something to his arms in the space time continuum, and slowly walks towards the trouble as hundreds more people are flung to their deaths by random explosions. He shoots the robots, they disappear, he and the female lead go to the future and crowd the entire screen with an extra big close up of a kiss, as he tries to swallow her entire face.

John Baxter is an absolutely brilliant short story writer and apparently a life-long student of films, so I was very interested to see what his only screenplay was like. I simply could not believe that he came up with such a piece of total crap. There is nothing to recommend in this film.