Children of the Living Dead (2001)

The Worst Film Ever

Memorable, crazy movie

Admirable film.

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

In fact, the scariest thing about this film is the names 'Bill Hinzman' and 'John Russo' appearing in the credits. If you've sat through those new bits they filmed for Night of the Living Dead, or their own sequel to that film, Flesh Eater, you know you're in a for a bumpy ride.We open with a posse/police force wasting a whole bunch of zombies just like the end of NOTLD and Flesh Eater, plus Tom Savini quipping and diving around the place like an action hero (pretty badly). He gets wasted by a zombie called Abbot Hayes, who then spends the next seven to fourteen years doing nothing at all.After this long, pointless interlude Abbot gets the hump when a student has a chug on his mum's grave and the next thing you know the kids are wasted, then back up again as zombies, and from then on things get even more boring and uneventful.The main problem with this film is that it's crap. Flesh Eater was also crap, but fun to watch, gory, and hilarious. This one not so much. The story stop starts all over the place, the characters spit out crappy quips, and Abbot Hayes does nothing at all. Nothing! The Majorettes sounds good though - might have to seek that out

Lame-brained zombie film, with film-making duties by various participants of "Night of the Living Dead". This particular flick concerns teenagers who died in a vehicle crash over a cliff thanks to a zombie, Abbott Hayes(A Barrett Worland), who wasn't killed in a small town extermination. Hayes resurrects their corpses by biting them, and as a group they pursue live human victims as a major car dealership development is underway. The film centers of the blossoming relationship between Matthew Michaels(Damien Luvara), whose father is the head honcho behind the dealership, and Laurie Danesi(Jamie McCoy),the small town waitress. Sheriff Randolph(Marty Schiff)is in cahoots with the developers in pulling up the caskets and headstones from a cemetery burying the loved ones in a mass grave to save money. Abbott Hayes will lead his zombie troops on a raid on the diner as Michael, Laurie & Randolph hole up awaiting help from the development workers.I think many might wish to check this one out for the opening fifteen or so minutes where make-up effects legend Tom Savini goes bad ass as a survivalist town deputy who takes out zombies singlehanded. The opening of the film resembles the close of "Night of the Living Dead" as townspeople work as an organized hunting party eradicating the walking dead with guns and rifles. Once Abbott Hayes is introduced(..first looking like a corpse, and when the film moves fourteen years later, resembles a monstrous ghoul)the film sours immediately. The screenplay is uninvolving never remaining focused with the film becoming an uneven and tedious exercise where boredom sets in like gangrene rotting away the viewer's patience..well, that's what this film felt like to me, gangrene rotting away my patience. I kept hoping that something would come from this film, but when you have dialogue this putrid with a cast equally as painful, there's no hope at all. I am not sure this will even work for the most enthusiastic zombie fan. The final showdown at the end has workers, with plenty of weapons and ammunition toiling with the zombies in hand-to-hand combat! While the fighting occurs, Abbott Hayes is shown delighting as the carnage ensues. Hayes seems to be merely in the film to wickedly grin as his minions attack pea-brained human clowns. What a travesty. Actor Bill Hinzman tries to put some energy into the photography, but that shot in the arm can do little to inject life into a film where quality whithers minute to minute. This film would've done better to follow Savini throughout the film wasting zombies rather than focus on a car dealership development and the dull relations of a would-be couple.Savini and some minor moments of zombie gore lift this to 2 stars instead of 1.

The worst? Zombie Planet. I could watch about 20 minutes before I fast forwarded and just saw bits and pieces, ending up in a total 25 minutes. This movie I watched for about 30 minutes, fast forwarded, hoping there'd be a light at the end of the tunnel. But there wasn't. There was nothing good about this movie. I mean they couldn't even manage having good zombie-shooting, which is one of the easiest things to do!My patience really, REALLY ran thin when they had some guy shooting a zombie and then another one would come, from what I saw, thin air and bite his neck.It was just so worthless, that all who were involved in the movie (who didn't do it ONLY because they desperately needed the money) should go to prison. No joke.

I have suffered through some horrible horror movies through the years; The Alien Dead, Blood Diner, Lawnmower Man...just to name a few. I actually walked out of the theater on the Lawnmower Man, but I digress. I would have walked out of this abomination too, except I was AT home as this turd was a direct to DVD release. It got sooo bad about 45 minutes through I put my player on 4x speed just so I could skip over the mind-numbingly bad acting and dialogue. Abbot Hayes, the leader of the prancing dead. All this bastard does in the film is lurk in the shadows, prance, and grin/mug maniacally at the camera. He is a precedent setter though, the first queer zombie on film, oh wait Michael Jackson, never mind.