Creepies (2003)

Just perfect...

After playing with our expectations, this turns out to be a very different sort of film.

This is a small, humorous movie in some ways, but it has a huge heart. What a nice experience.

A clunky actioner with a handful of cool moments.

CREEPIES is a straight-to-video indie sci-fi/horror effort about a bunch of genetically-modified spiders growing to monstrous size and laying waste to a city. It's very much a homage/throwback to the 1950s monster movies of old, albeit made on a much inferior budget and without much in the way of technical expertise. The spiders are very bad CGI animations and thus not seen on screen too much, while the characters - including a girl grunge band and various soldiers - are flat and one-dimensional. I admit that this was quite amusing in places, though, even if it is slapdash and amateur; the destruction of the Hollywood sign is a nice little touch. Ron Jeremy has a requisite cameo. An inferior sequel followed.

Well, let's see. Some kind of mutant spider like creatures are on the rampage, killing and eating people, when suddenly a girl rock band....Wait a minute! This movie is far too terrible to give a synopsis of. It looks like it was shot by students at the local small town high school. These are some of the most schlocky monsters, special effects, and sets I've ever seen in a movie. Everything in this flick is like a throw-back to the early 1960's, complete with cheesy miniaturized tanks and planes. But it didn't improve on the special effects techniques of that era, it was much worse! What did they spend making it, $25? One reviewer on these pages asks how this movie made it to a video shelf for rental. How indeed?!? Ron Jeremy, a film face not exactly renowned for his thespian skills, is the best actor in this movie and he's only on screen for 3 minutes. You don't want to know what you get to look at for the other 80 minutes. Trust me! A film that only relatives of the lead actors could love.

Giant mutated spiders attack model buildings in this absolutely dreadful monster movie. There will be some people out there, mostly relatives of the cast and crew for instance, who will no doubt say I am missing the point when I call this film one of the worst, most amateurish films ever unleashed upon an unsuspecting public. They will say, "Don't take it too seriously. Take it in the spirit in which it is offered, as a spoof of Japanese monster movies, and 'Return of the Living Dead.'" True enough. The film is essentially a spoof. The only interesting moments were when the filmmakers made obvious references to other, much better, films. Still, for a spoof to be successful, like "Shaun of the Dead" or even "Scream," the filmmakers must show some basic competence. That's the problem here. No competence is shown in any category. We have bad writing. Bad acting. Bad direction. Bad cinematography. Bad costumes. Bad sets. And horrible special effects. Friends of mine were making better films on Super 8 with train sets and plastic dinosaurs when they were in the fifth grade. This is not a professional product. It shouldn't be sitting on the video shelves with real movies.The funny thing is that I saw "The Witch's Sabbath" a couple of months ago and thought it was absolutely horrible. Who could have guessed that that film represented a quantum leap forward in Jeff Leroy's directorial skills. And it did! This movie ranks alongside "Ax 'Em" as perhaps one of the worst movies ever made. The first thing Jeff Leroy should do every morning is pray for the continued health of Michael Mfume because if Mfume died, he would surely be the worst director alive in his stead.And to think they even made a sequel.The distributor has nothing but contempt for the audience.(Kudos to the person who entitled their review "Crappies." I would have done it if you didn't.)

Oi, nothing to special here pretty predictable B movie horror stuff. the plot is pretty predictable and the horror isn't too horrifying and it seemed like just one cliché too many was bandied about, but i still had a good time watching and got a good laugh out of the experience. the highlight for me was actually the soundtrack, the band they played, manda and the marbles, had some great songs during the movie. i ended up buying a cd of theirs after watching creepies. oh yeah and i'm sure a lot of people will be smitten by the lead actress. i'd say this is a good movie to watch with your tongue firmly in cheek and a lot of popcorn. it can be a lot of fun as long as you don't take it too seriously.