Danger!! Death Ray (1967)

Plenty to Like, Plenty to Dislike

Don't listen to the negative reviews

Yo, there's no way for me to review this film without saying, take your *insert ethnicity + "ass" here* to see this film,like now. You have to see it in order to know what you're really messing with.

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

MASTER PLAN: get the death ray plans from a kidnapped scientist. Yet another in a long line of European James Bond knock offs during the swinging sixties, this piqued my curiosity due to the casting of Gordon Scott as the super agent - meet Bart Fargo! I was mostly familiar with Scott for his Tarzan portrayals of several years earlier, some of which were quite good; of course, he is also well known for his roles in Italian musclemen epics, playing mythical heroes named Goliath or Maciste. So, he has no problem depicting the physical aspect of being a hero - you have no trouble believing he can beat up a couple of henchmen. In fact, most of the entertainment value here stems from a wry sensibility developing by the time Scott is thrashing his 4th or 5th thug (Fargo is the target of several killers during the movie). By that 4th time, Fargo is barely trying - he merely taps a door into the bad guy and then starts slapping him around like a wet noodle. I thought, this is what happens when Goliath puts on a suit and pretends to be a secret agent. This was one of Scott's last leading roles after a career of over a decade and it's actually a shame he didn't get to do more of these, improving on the formula.The plot begins with the kidnapping of a scientist - much gunplay and cars moving in the night. Fargo isn't introduced until a good 20 minutes in, awoken from his beauty sleep by a couple of babes. He has the now-familiar repartee with this film's version of M and Ms. Moneypenny - it's blatantly derivative. The problem with Italian pics such as these (such as "OK Connery" aka "Operation Double 007") is the dubbing; the voice actors obfuscate the speech patterns and you're guessing what Scott's performance was really like. The spoken dialog itself is terribly crude: a woman is painting some self-portrait and Fargo climbs into her apartment thru the roof; 'What's the matter?' she says. 'Haven't you ever seen an artist's studio?' This passes for sophisticated spy seduction talk here. Later, Fargo interrogates one of his attackers. 'Awright, talk!' Fargo demands, pointing his silencer. 'If I tell ya, the boss'll have me killed,' the guy answers, 'please try to understand!' Then, Fargo pauses and growls 'Listen, you tell me or you're gonna be in REAL trouble.' What's Fargo's threat? Kill the guy even more? Finally, the FX - oh, oh. Fargo is forced off the road at one point in his red European sportscar, falling off a cliff into the sea; only, it's obviously a tiny model car falling into a pond. I laughed out loud yet, at the same time, admired the filmmakers' audacity. They're telling the audience, hey, this is what you get; you don't like it, sue us. Hero:5 Villains:3 Femme Fatales:3 Henchmen:3 Fights:4 Stunts/Chases:4 Gadgets:3 Auto:4 Locations:4 Pace:4 overall:4-

While this movie is obviously nothing more than a 3rd rate "007" pastiche, I'm still rather fond of it. In spite of the ludicrous miniatures, blandly European-y setting, by-the-numbers screenplay and badly dubbed dialog, this is a fun little lightweight romp. I think this is mostly due to the casting of Gordon Scott in the lead as "Bart Fargo" (you're kidding me with that name, right?). I have fond memories of Scott in some vintage "Tarzan" movies, and I vaguely remember him playing "Hercules" as well; what worked then works now. Scott isn't as hard edged or as dynamic as, say, Sean Connery or Timothy Dalton, but he's an agreeable screen presence, he's pleasant to look at (and still built like a brick sh*thouse), and he can do a choreographed screen brawl with the best of them. Scott is front and center for 90% of the movie, and he always looks good doing whatever it is he's doing - running down a city street, punching out a bad guy "Mannix" style, playing baccarat in a casino, lounging in bed, or being suave with the ladies. So he carries this movie the way a mother cat carries a kitten, by the nape of the neck and for as long as it takes. He isn't good enough to rescue "Danger! Death Ray" from mediocrity (I'm not sure Sean Connery himself could do that), and it's pretty obvious from the outset that he's just collecting a paycheck...but he at least makes it watchable. Compare this to some of the other,similar European-y "007" ripoffs that MST3K covered in its fifth and sixth seasons and you'll immediately see the difference. "OK Connery" relied on Sean's poor uncharismatic brother, "Secret Agent Super Dragon" featured a walking Ken doll, and "your dad's alcoholic golfing buddy" (in a girdle) was cast as "Agent for H.A.R.M.". Two of those movies were at least the equal of D!DR in sets, effects, locations, and supporting cast (and were sometimes far superior, especially in the case of "OK Connery")(and I admit that "Agent" wasn't the equal to ANYTHING, including the "ABC Afterschool Special"). But those movies blew chunks, while D!DR is at least mildly entertaining in a completely unoriginal way. And that's 'cause Scott was the leading man, and not those other poor bozos who were completely out of their depth in the lead. D!DR would be appropriate for a wasted Sunday afternoon matinée when you have too much of hangover to move from in front of the TV, and televised sports just don't appeal. Collect only if you are a spy movie completist, or if you enjoy the MST coverage (which is good natured and mild, compared to the slash-and-burn jobs they usually do).

Alright, so "Death Ray" isn't 007, and what can be? The main point to be made here is that the movie is FUN. Good fun. So, low-budget effects, corny (but oddly infecting) tunes, beautiful European women, and a muscular star are not what this film is about. It's fun! Everyone seems to have a good time hamming it up. You can see it even through the dubbed voices. Yes, MST3K riffed the film, but that doesn't mean it's bad. Give me 10 more Bart Fargo movies! I'd rather that than another overwrought post Connery/Moore Bond wannabe!!

IL RAGGIO INFERNALE is just another of the many European spy movies from the heyday of this genre. The tired plot has ex-Tarzan Gordon Scott seeking the kidnapped inventor of a deathray (yawn!) and fighting Alberto Dalbes as the villain. There are some nice technical gadgets, but in the end this movie gets stuck in mediocrity.