Keep the River on Your Right: A Modern Cannibal Tale (2000)

Waste of time

Fun premise, good actors, bad writing. This film seemed to have potential at the beginning but it quickly devolves into a trite action film. Ultimately it's very boring.

This film is so real. It treats its characters with so much care and sensitivity.

Excellent and certainly provocative... If nothing else, the film is a real conversation starter.

So, where are the cannibals? Those intrigued by the title and the 'real cannibal' appeal of this film will be let down. Instead, we are shown a strange man and his re-visiting of a Papua New Guinea village full of natives, one of whom was his lover several decades prior. The man, Tobias Schneebaum is New York Jewish as they come and somehow, this is intertwined with the documentary as he appears in his yamika in several scenes.There are no real cannibals here: only stories relayed by some of the natives and by Tobias himself. Not all together a bad film. Very interesting and great cinematography. Schneebaum remains highly likable throughout and provides us with a fascinating glimpse into a life that is about as far removed from Western Civilization as one can get.It's just not what it claims to be on the cover and in the plot summary.4 out of 10, kids.

It's rare that you see a documentary as well balanced as this movie. The blend of Tobias's daily life with his adventures in Peru really show both sides of the man. In truth he is a very simple person, but for whatever reason his life sends him visiting ancient cultures in South America. He is a man of many contradictions.While the movie is about Tobias overally, it provides interesting commentary on a number of subjects: loss of culture, aging, homosexuality, even a little commentary on the voyeuristic act of the documentary itself. It's this richness of information that makes the movie so compelling.Unfortunately the filming style is high-handed and sometimes is disruptive. It breaks the old adage that the best camerawork is the kind that is not noticed. Throughout the movie there are annoying closeups and jerky camera movement that is more distracting than useful.Overall, I highly recommend this movie. I'd give it a 9 out of 10. The film style is annoying but the story is first rate. You won't be disappointed.

Schneebaum is a very charismatic man and to me the adventurous young anthropologist who headed into the jungles of Peru and Papua, New Guinea had much more huevos than most. And reducing him to the gay, feminine, non aggressive catagory,as being the only way he could be accepted into the tribe is just pure horse sh**. It only brings about the pure ignorance of what most people think 'gay' is...If Schneebaum wanted to prove that to be left to their natural inklings a tribe would run the gambit of sexual desires and he participated in the homosexual rite's does not mean that homosexuality was not there... and the most the other anthropologist's could come up with was; "he didn't keep a therapeutic distance" from the people he was studying. It was in the Amazon Valley that something happened to Tobias, was it the raid on the other village and the killing of that tribe, or was it the eating of human flesh, had he almost gone over the brink. He was a painter until that experience and after, he never painted again. As far as the cannibal part, and why he did it, who knows as Tobias cannot come up with a logical answer, and as far as judging him for doing it, one must face his own demons in a situation that brought him to the brink. Had he gone to far,did the jungle cast him out? It is a strange movie, but, although the subject matter is off the scale, it was entertaining. And one must give Tobias a nod for having the fortitude to go back and face his demons, and stare them down. I'm sure most people would not think that a "gay" thing to do. 8/10

Certainly, this movie is a great documentary. The juxtaposition of places and footage makes it interesting, and the soundtrack adds to it, but the movie itself comes off as laughable. First, the film is unreasonably long. For as much as the film attempts to cover, one can't help but wonder when the film will end. It could end in about five places, and none would be any too soon. It's a stretch and is abrupt when it ends in a still-frame.I'm a polite man, but my friend kept checking his watch throughout the feature. Reminiscent of the Timex Indiglo ads occurring in movie houses, rating films with anti-star 'flashes,' each flash being a check of the watch, this movie would be about a fifteen for my friend. Also, when one puts the film style aside, some annoyance comes from the subject himself. The old man is constantly moaning about his hip possibly breaking again. My friend's response to that was that he would have dropped Schoenbaum in the jungle had he been in the crew. Personally, I found the old man whiny some moments and a beautiful inspiration at others.Parts of this film reminded me of a Book-of-the-month club commercial, if such organization did commercials. Except it's all for Tobias Schneebaum. In addition, the animated stills from the over-touted picture-book were downright tacky.All in all, the film was long-winded and schizophrenic. At times the juxtaposition was genius, but at others, and far too often, it was confusing and downright annoying. So if you want to see a film about a 'beautiful, old man' reluctantly stumbling his way through his old haunts, _River_ is for you, but if your local art cinema carries more than one film, I suggest seeing that one.