Girl in Gold Boots (1968)

One of my all time favorites.

A lot more amusing than I thought it would be.

This is one of the few movies I've ever seen where the whole audience broke into spontaneous, loud applause a third of the way in.

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

Joy Division's Ian Curtis would often cause chaos at his concerts, because his dancing style closely resembled an epileptic seizure: bystanders would call 911 just to be on the safe side. I've never known how Curtis developed such a bizarre style, but I'm fairly certain he owned a copy of "Girl In Gold Boots". I also can't fathom why a woman that a) clearly can't dance, b) clearly can't act and c) isn't married to someone powerful would get cast as the lead of a musical, but one thing's for certain: this is about a dozen times as entertaining as a competent musical. The movie was produced and directed by prolific Z-grade horror/sci-fi legend Ted V. Mikels, who seems out of his comfort zone when he can't use zombies, evil witches or crazed serial killers who feed victims to cats. The movie doesn't have any plot, it just drags itself from one strange dance scene to another. But that's fine by me. Seeing our lead and her marginally less untalented co-star dance like they're on stilts never stops being entertaining. If anything, this movie should have more awkward dancing rather than less. Very palatable, for all the wrong reasons of course.

If Offbeat Cinema hasn't grabbed Girl In Gold Boots for one of their late evenings roasts than they are not doing their job in finding some of the worst cinema put on celluloid. This must have been a great second feature in the drive-ins in 1968 when people were getting down to something else.On That Seventies Show one of the funniest lines I ever heard was from pretty and vapid Mila Kunis who said that nothing was ever going to get in the way of her ambition to becoming a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader. That same sense of purpose exists with our leading lady Leslie McRae who dreams of going out to Los Angeles and becoming a go-go dancer. It certainly beat slinging hash in that New Mexico diner with her drunken father. When Tom Pace comes into her life saying he's going to LA where his sister does just that, McRae hears enough and jumps in the car with him. Along the way they pickup another wandering stranger Jody Daniels and the three of them are off to Tinseltown after Pace robs a filling station.They find Pace's sister, a drugged out dancer working for club owner Mark Herron who's got his fingers in a lot enterprises, mostly illegal. Pace doesn't really care about his sister, he just sees opportunity for himself and McRae gets hired as a new dancer and Daniels becomes a club janitor. Herron indicates that Daniels could do better for himself with him and you can take that any number of ways.The film is one sorry mess, lousy sound recording, inane plot, totally bogus climax to this piece of drama. If you recognize the name of Mark Herron it will be because you remember who was Judy Garland's fourth husband. Mark wasn't doing that great before he married Judy, and when she cut him loose this was the best his meager talent could get.Oh and the music is bad Sixties music and the acting on the level of some of my grade school plays. When will Offbeat Cinema be showing Girl In Gold Boots?

Michele Casey (Leslie McRae) has bigger plans for her future than working at her father's diner in the middle of nowhere. She dreams of being a dancer. When a smooth-talking lowlife named Buz Nichols (Tom Pace) offers her a ride to Los Angeles, she jumps at the chance. Along the way, the pair meet up with a draft dodger named Critter (Jody Daniels) who's also looking to get to L.A. Michele ends up getting a job dancing with Buz's junky sister at a club called the Haunted House. The club is run by some of the greasiest customers to ever use Vitalis. They've soon got Buz dealing dope for them. Can Michele escape the squalor her life has become or will she be dragged into the gutter?Girl in Gold Boots is a difficult movie for me to rate. On the one hand, it's the kind of movie that makes you feel like taking a shower. It's a greasy experience. One scene in particular in the movie perfectly illustrates this effect on me. Buz's sister (the druggy) has almost passed out and is on the floor. There's a camera shot looking up from her perspective at her slimy boss. In the background just over his head is a giant brown stain on the drop-tile ceiling. It's nasty and disgusting but looks like most everything else in Girl in Gold Boots. I would like to think that the director, Ted V. Mikels, carefully chose this shot to use the brown stain as a representation of sorts for the character standing under it. But that's probably giving Mikels way too much credit. My guess is that the stained ceiling came with the location they were using. As nasty as it looks, it fits nicely with the rest of the movie.But I've rated Girl in Gold Boots a 6/10 so it should be obvious that I found something about the movie to enjoy. It's hard to put finger on, but something about the story, the characters, and the incredibly lame dancing actually works for me. Some of it may be in the at "so bad it's good" sort of way, but whatever, I find it entertaining. I suppose this is one of those cases where comparing the movie to a train wreck is appropriate – it's hard to look away. However, be warned – based on the IMDb rating of 2.8, it's obvious that I'm pretty much alone on this one.Girl in Gold Boots is one of those movies that I've seen both with and without the MST3K commentary. My opinion of the movie remains unchanged whichever way I watch it. The MST3K commentary itself is very funny. I rate Girl in Gold Boots a 5/5 on my MST3K rating scale.

OK, this movie is so boring, ooooooooh sooooooooo boring.... no no you don't get it it's SO BORING IT HURTS!!!!!! it gave everyone i watched it with headaches...we actually started to bite our fingers just to have something to do... it physically hurts.... only thing i paid attention to were the MST3K comments.... and the dancing, ooooh the dancing. Basically it's about everything else other than what it's supposed to be about. Girl hooks up with dude turned drug dealer, young dashing bohemian dude drags along and becomes the janitor/songwriter in the club the aforementioned girl was... hmpfff... dancing. YOU'RE LIVING A LIE, YOU DANCE LIKE A CLOWN (more like a COW), I HOPE THAT YOU DIE! i mean c'mon, Steven Hawking dances better...My advice, never ever ever EVER try to watch it outside of MST3K.