The Pink Chiquitas (1987)

Touches You

If you don't like this, we can't be friends.

If you like to be scared, if you like to laugh, and if you like to learn a thing or two at the movies, this absolutely cannot be missed.

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

I don't think many people understand this movie. It was really quite a beautiful film about women mostly, well acted, and quite well scripted. Maybe you have to be an anthropologist to appreciate it. Before the last ice age and well into present times we were matriarchal and very sexual. The meteor only made our human nature more open. The meteor didn't die. After mating with a human male its babies can be seen bubbling up on the lake. Nobody here seems to understand what a pink Chiquita is. It's the title of the film people. It's what our species needs to continue surviving. There are some esoteric references in the film I don't understand. Clip appears in a very Beatles like uniform reminiscent of Sgt Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band on an amusement park merrigo round. I think the teen boys who initially found the meteor died. The only other death in the movie is the homosexual cross dresser. I bought this film because it was about what women were really like at one time, and I loved how normal life in the small town of Beamsville now was actually like. Loved Mary Ann. A librarian no less, married to a meteorolgist?

I saw this movie years ago in a group tradition of Fast Forward Film Festivals, where we would set out to rent a bunch of B-movies and vote for who picked the worst.The night we watched this, it was voted the best, due to semblance of plot and fun costuming.This is certainly a silly, kitschy, movie, to be watched under the full understanding that you are watching low-budget fluff. Personally, however, I wouldn't recommend additional substances ... this movie will leave it's own mark on you.It made enough of an impression on me that I've actually been trying to get my hands on a copy for a few years.A good choice if you are setting out to watch bad movies. This one is fun, and I remember bouncy music ...

Sly Stallone is hardly the finest actor in the world but compared to his brother, Frank...well, roll out those awards now! Mullet haired, muppet Frank seems to think that every part he plays, calls for him doing the role as an American/Italian Wise-guy refugee from the 'Godfather.' Please, somebody make him an acting offer 'he can refuse!' This film just stinks the place out, even by the terrible overacting in this, Frank still steals the acting dishonours. All the people compensate for their lack of talent by shouting their lines and throwing their arms about, gesticulating wildly in a style that went out of fashion back with silent films.The plot, what there, is, makes no sense as a meteor lands and turns all the women into sex-crazed nymphets but as this is 15 certificate film, that just means they strip to their underwear and make moaning sounds like dogs on heat. What happens in the end, I'm not quite sure as I was losing the will to live long before the film finished.Avoid this like the plague and watch 'Deep Impact' for a reasonable film about a meteor about to hit the earth.N.B. Point of order: when one of the female leads strips down to her underwear, she has her knickers/panties under her suspenders/garter belt, it's knickers over the suspenders to allow women to go to the toilet with less fuss. A trivial point, perhaps, but shows how dumb this film is when they can't even get this right!

I'm a big fan of the Allison Hayes classic "Attack of the Fifty Foot Woman" so I know just how good a movie can be that bashes men, but this movie is actually insulting to the men that watch it as well as the women who starred in it. There is only one funny scene as Frank Stallone wrestles with an uncatchable fish, and there's an inside "Andy Griffith" joke as Barney Fife becomes Barney Drumm, but there is very little redeeming matter in this movie. What could have been a fairly thrilling movie about women becoming superior to men is actually a wimpy disappointment as the women become unrealisticly sex crazed. The majority of the characters are cartoonish except for Frank Stallone as this movie seemed centered on his attempt to make himself bigger than his brother. It all turns into one big mess with little or no reason and a script seemingly written by high school kids. One out of ten stars.