Neptune's Daughter (1949)

That was an excellent one.

Absolutely the worst movie.

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

what a terribly boring film. I'm sorry but this is absolutely not deserving of best picture and will be forgotten quickly. Entertaining and engaging cinema? No. Nothing performances with flat faces and mistaking silence for subtlety.

Directed by Edward Buzzell, and written by Dorothy Kingsley (who would share a Best Writing Oscar some years later for her work on Seven Brides for Seven Brothers (1954)), this below average Musical comedy stars Esther Williams (in the title role?), Keenan Wynn, Red Skelton, Ricardo Montalban, and Betty Garrett. "Baby, It's Cold Outside" earned Frank Loesser his only Oscar, on his fourth try out of five nominations, for Best Song. The scene in which it's sung, by Williams with Montalban and Garrett with Skelton (the two couples), is one of the film's best. Otherwise, it's pretty chauvinistic fluff.Williams plays a champion swimmer whom Wynn's character finally convinces to partner with him to sell swimsuits. They are very successful. Garrett plays Williams's sister, who can't wait to find a fella, that ends up meeting goofy masseur Skelton, who's never even kissed a girl. Enter Montalban, South America's best polo player. After losing a radio callout contest, Skelton winds up giving the injured Montalban a massage, who in turn gives Skelton some romance advice. Wynn decides that arranging a show for the visiting polo players would be good business, and Garrett decides to be the first girl to meet their star, José O'Rourke (Montalban), for her own desires. Garrett mistakes Skelton for O'Rourke and, wanting to impress her and try out his new "moves", Skelton pretends to be José.Trouble arises when the standoffish businesswoman Williams believes the horse riding playboy O'Rourke is courting her; she thinks he's pursuing her and her sister at the same time! This well oiled case of mistaken identity theme is about all there is to sustain the rest of the film, besides some singing, dancing, and music played by Xavier Cugat (as himself) and his band. Naturally, this device only delays the inevitable, each gal will end up with their guy, though Williams puts up the most resistance, with Wynn making his own play for her in a losing effort to Montalban.There is a subplot involving a gangster (Ted de Corsia), and his dumb heavy (the always reliable Mike Mazurki), who figures capturing O'Rourke before the big polo match will be a good way to win a big gambling bet. Otherwise, the only other feature of note is some humorous, not politically correct scenes with Mel Blanc playing a South American named Pancho. Then, of course, there are the swimsuits, and their models, as well as the standard synchronized swimming routines which are typical of Ms. Williams's films.

Esther Williams knows clothes, or should I say bathing suits. This Esther Williams outing shows her getting discovered by Keenan Wynn and going right into the bathing suit business. Keenan Wynn, unlike his role in "Easy to Wed," is so subdued he comes across rather uninteresting. Betty Garrett, as Esther's sister, pretty much takes the spotlight as she tries to snare Red Skelton. By the way, Ricardo Montalban is Esther's paramour and "Neptune's Daughter" does include the Oscar-winning song "Baby, It's Cold Outside." But otherwise this film doesn't have much to recommend it. It only makes you think of other Esther Williams movies that are better with this kind of material and talent. The title "Neptune's Daughter" I'm sure was though of to make it sound glamorous. But it does not showcase Esther and company at their best.

Hey, this is a topper. One of the best of WILLIAMS swim films, mainly because it has the great Betty Garrett. Her scenes are wonderful, and she and Red Skelton are wonderful together. The Red and Betty seduction scene where he's trying to act like a Spaniard is sensational and wait until he tastes Garretts appetizer. Sheer genius. The new DVD copy is terrific, sharp and clear. Yes, its MGM's clean-cut studio bound movie, but it's what MGM did best. Haven't seen the other WILLIAMS movies in the collection yet, but am looking forward. Also looking forward to another volume and hope that her best, yet under-rated SKIRTS AHOY is included. See this for pure fun.

ho-hum bit of nonsense as tough-minded businesswoman Esther Williams falls bit by bit for South American polo playboy Ricardo Montalban. Their courtship is paralleled by the romance between dorky masseur Skelton and William's man-hungry sister, Garrett. Best scene is the double version of "Baby it's Cold Outside" with Williams and Skelton as the coy maidens.