Final Justice (1985)

It is a performances centric movie

Yo, there's no way for me to review this film without saying, take your *insert ethnicity + "ass" here* to see this film,like now. You have to see it in order to know what you're really messing with.

This is a coming of age storyline that you've seen in one form or another for decades. It takes a truly unique voice to make yet another one worth watching.

This is one of the best movies I’ve seen in a very long time. You have to go and see this on the big screen.

I think Final Justice deserves a much higher score than the current 1.8, in fact it doesn't even belong on the bottom 100 list. That said, Final Justice (just one more justice, please)is by no means a good movie. It is almost exactly average.Joe Don Baker is kind of like the poor mans Steven Seagal, but without the martial arts, his acting, is just about average. The plot of the movie is likewise pretty straight forward 80's action plot. The action is pretty mediocre, not silly, but not very exciting. The villain, love interest and so on are all pretty typical action movie characters, not too stereotypical, but none too exciting either. The weird thing, is that the movie isn't actually cheesy like most B-movies would be, it plays everything more or less straight, and watching it, you end up feeling oh so meh.The point i'm trying to get across here is that you cannot get more mediocre than this, it is the absolute definition of mediocrity.

The uncut version of FINAL JUSTICE is without a doubt the worst movie I have ever seen in my life. On the hand, the MST3K version is one of the funniest episodes ever produced. The riffs centering on Joe Don Baker's weight and ineptitude are pure comedy gold from beginning to end.Greydon Clark (ANGEL'S REVENGE) is the culprit responsible for this pointlessly violent, boring stinker. And he also plays a sheriff who is killed about ten minutes into the movie which is good news for the viewer.Baker, reprising his classic role from MITCHELL, stars as an incompetent, overweight Texas sheriff. Jeez, that's a stretch. Throughout the entire film, he spends most of the time chowing on donuts, gulping glasses of milk, causing havoc, getting into useless shootouts and assaulting citizens while wearing a cheesy cowboy outfit raided from Colonel Tom Parker's closet.Are you getting any of this? Good.Anyway, the actual plot has our idiot hero escorting a thick-accented mobster (Venantino Venantini, CITY OF THE LIVING DEAD) back to Italy. Unfortunately, Joe Don loses Venantini, gets arrested and yelled at by the Maltese police. This act happens not only once, not only twice, but a thousand times.See a pattern here? Good.Sure FINAL JUSTICE is garbage, but the film contains many bizarre characters and images such as a colorful carnival, pirate strippers, a Warholesque hit man, a boat chase involving a monk, a clichéd bar fight, Jon Lovitz, and let's not forget the three-inch taxi driver. Man, David Lynch would be jealous right now.MY ADVICE: Skip the film, and track down the MST3K version.

Sergio Leone spins in his grave... If there was any film that tramples upon a man's life work its this one. The lead character's "lone wolf" bravado is uninspiring and lame, and the script was apparently written by a monkey with an eight grade education. Whoever's idea this was should be horse whipped. The only reason I'm spending time trashing it is because there's a 10 line minimum. Sergio Leone's family should sue, not because its crap, but because now it's immortalized as crap by MST 3000. Shame. Disgust. I blame Hollywood...at least Gary Busey makes crap that wont offend anyone but cocaine users and weapon experts...this film is pure blasphemy.

I'm not watching it as intended, but via Mystery Science Theater. One thing I notice is during the extremely long inflatable boat chase, our 'hero' never loses his hat. That is the first red flag for me...plus the fact that Mystery Science Theater chose it - they like to scrape the bottom of the barrel.So if you want to remotely enjoy this movie, watch it via Mystery Science Theater 3000. It is incredibly monotonous and badly acted!