The House Next Door (2006)

Pretty Good

Good , But It Is Overrated By Some

I like movies that are aware of what they are selling... without [any] greater aspirations than to make people laugh and that's it.

It's funny watching the elements come together in this complicated scam. On one hand, the set-up isn't quite as complex as it seems, but there's an easy sense of fun in every exchange.

I first had the pleasure of seeing this rather elegant horror movie on my beloved Horror Channel and I immediately appreciated it's subtle approach and slow but steady build up of fear, and how you could feel that fear without truly seeing anything. No ghostly figures, no dark rushing shadows, just a rather great oppressive atmosphere of rising dread, and a series of unfortunate events...:2: I thought that before I reviewed the movie I would read the book it's based on. I did and I was very disappointed. It was way too depressing, not to mention long-winded, boring, and very weak. There was also an endless blatant and challenging snobbish arrogance to the entire thing that I didn't like either. I ultimately found it to be a better film than a book...:3: The tone and feel of the book was pretty much just like the movie, except for the following differences: Anita Sheehan doesn't kill herself, and is instead shocked into a permanent coma. Suzanna Greene doesn't just shoot her husband. First she shoots him, then her daughter(!), then herself. And possibly the biggest change, at the end, instead of blowing up the house with Kim the possibly demonic architect still inside, Walter and Col, after figuring out that is is somehow Kim causing the dire events, and not the house, quietly murder him and take his body to the basement of the house and then set the place on fire. Then the two of them, believing the house will not let them destroy it and live, sit and wait to see what will happen next. It sounds creepy, but it was a weak end to a weak book written by a snob, I thought...:4: I quite liked Lara Flynn's performance. She kind of makes the movie, in my book. So much better than her turn in Men in Black 2! And, consequently, the lips WERE pretty damn big...:5: I thought Noam Jenkins was just awesome as the anal, arrogant, and deliciously odious Mr Norman Greene. (that's Greene with an "E" and don't you forget it!)He's not quite as monstrous as the book version of the character. I found the guy so funny to watch with his uppity, almost camp delivery, appearance and overall demeanour. And that thing he said! I mean, when you've got a grown man repeatedly uttering the phrase: "What is wrong with this picture? What is wrong, tell me sister?!" It's a little silly, especially coming from this guy. To me a very intense and scary scene is when the long-suffering Anita Sheehan, very movingly played by Julie Stewart, sees the moment of her son's fiery death on a TV screen in high definition. It's a very serious scene, but I find it hard not to laugh at the poor woman's crazy reflection on the screen as she does look very funny! It makes for a very weird contrast! I also laugh at the bit where Mark Paul Gosselar gets kicked in the head!:6: I thought the theme of the malignant house of creeping evil thing was very well done. But uh, I personally just can't find a house scary to look upon. That house wasn't scary, it didn't look ominous, or magical, or anything remotely weird to me. It just looked like one of those ultra-modern, cold and ugly houses. No more frightening than a car, a closet, a pair of shoes, or a refrigerator! (Mr King!) Don't get me anywhere near a wicker basket, though! This is a little mild, a little cheap, and a little TV, it's still very enjoyable despite all that. Not a bad movie at all. Do you have the equipment to deal with it?

... is twofold. Firstly, it totally destroys, with a plodding, boring and mucousy script, a fine novel that Stephen King had singled out as one of the best horror stories of the last century in his essay "Danse Macabre" (1981). The second jolt comes from seeing Lara Flynn Boyle's lips slowly disintegrate all through the movie from the sheer weight of the collagen they are stuffed with. Her mouth gradually descends in her face in a very ominous and asymmetrical fashion, unsupported by facial muscles that are already rendered weak and useless from too many Botox injections. The end result is an inverted wedge of a mouth incapable of smiling or any other recognizable human expression. Those are the only things that qualify this mess as truly scary, if you don't count the sheer ugliness, vulgarity and faux-modern ordinariness of the house itself.

This is not an entirely bad movie. The plot (new house built next door seems to be haunted) is not bad, the mood is creepy enough, and the acting is okay. The big problem I had is that, being familiar with Lara Flynn Boyle (from Twin Peaks and other shows), I couldn't get over how different she looks with her apparently new, big lips. I kept staring at them. They look so out of place on her face! They make her look completely different (and not better).Mark-Paul Gosselaar, the actor who plays Kim the architect who designs and pours his heart and soul into the house, does a fine job. And Lara (as Col) is also quite good (but those lips!) as the owner of the house next door. Her husband, Walker (Colin Ferguson) is appropriately wooden. The various characters who live in the house were also fine. I particularly liked Pie (Charlotte Sullivan) and her husband, Buddy (Stephen Amell), the first people to move into the house. The attempt to involve us in the overall neighborhood vibe fails, unfortunately, as the other neighbors are not particularly likable.For some reason the director was unable to make the "haunted" house particularly ominous. Other movies (such as Amityville Horror, The Legend of Hell House) manage to achieve that spooky feel, but it just doesn't happen here. The closest is when Col paints a depiction of the house.Another thing that didn't work for me is the plot twist that occurs with Kim, the architect. Initially, he appears to be a victim of the house like the others (it has sucked him dry of inspiration), but later he seems to have joined forces with it in evil.Overall, not a bad movie for horror fans if you can take your eyes off those big lips!

The cast is OK. The script is awkward at times, and it takes a while to figure out what the point of the movie is. I found myself looking forward to doing the dishes. The Shehan bit is a cheesy statement on the war. I guess we were supposed to not notice it...we did. Its a house, you did nothing more than kill forty five minutes. The shower part...huh? What was that about? Literally, it is I have a client, "Ok you can use our shower." Yawn. The angles are trying way to hard. There was a set of woods, suddenly its gone cause you can see right through, then next it is deep and animals are dying. In the end this is a horrendous movie of boring proportions.