Jurassic Attack (2013)

I really wanted to like this movie. I feel terribly cynical trashing it, and that's why I'm giving it a middling 5. Actually, I'm giving it a 5 because there were some superb performances.

a film so unique, intoxicating and bizarre that it not only demands another viewing, but is also forgivable as a satirical comedy where the jokes eventually take the back seat.

It's easily one of the freshest, sharpest and most enjoyable films of this year.

It is an exhilarating, distressing, funny and profound film, with one of the more memorable film scores in years,

An elite commando unit must fight for survival in a remote South African jungle that's populated by lethal predatory dinosaurs. While director Anthony Fankhauser keeps things moving along at a brisk pace and stages the plentiful action with rip-roaring panache, this film alas falters because of the painfully cruddy CGI dinosaurs who aren't remotely convincing for a minute (the digital blood and muzzle flashes are likewise pretty lousy and look super fake throughout). Fortunately, the bulk of the cast do their best with the silly material, with particular praiseworthy contributions from Gary Stretch as the rugged Captain John Steakley, Natascha Berg as foxy biochemist Angeles Ibanez, Alicia Ziegler as the feisty Sarah Haldeman, Corin Nemec as the hard-nosed Colonel Carter, Vernon Wells as the jerky Agent Grimaldi, and Michael Worth as the flaky Professor Roxton. Unfortunately, Israel Saez de Miguel hams it up atrociously as cackling evil no-count baddie Marquez. Moreover, Rafael Jordan's by-the-numbers script staunchly adheres to a straight-down-the-line predictable trajectory whereby it's really obvious from the get-go as far as which specific characters are going to survive in the long run, which in turn negates any genuine tension this movie might have had. A strictly so-so diversion at best.

Another typical Syfy movie channel show. First of all this appears to be an American armed forces mission yet there are numerous foreign accents that are so obvious that they don't even try to hide them. Then there is the military team with all the older guys that are part of the team. I am not against older soldiers but I don't think that they would go on a drop mission where they might slow the unit down. The smarmy bad guy is also typical of the Syfy network movies. He seems really evil but is just a clown who overacts. The dinosaurs have no reason to exist outside of the movie plot. There is not even a decent explanation for their existence. The fact that there are enough prey species to support the predators is ludicrous to say the least. Enough dinosaurs to have a viable population would show up on the satellites and be investigated. The weirdo they find studying the dinosaurs is only there to provide some continuity and of course info. Why do I waste my time with these movies? Well I hope to find a decent one from time to time.

When their mission to capture a renegade general and a kidnapped scientist goes awry, a team of soldiers learn they've stumbled onto an ancient valley filled with live dinosaurs and must try to get away before they all fall victim to the creatures.This turned out to be quite an enjoyable effort that could be fun once it overlooked the cheesiness. There's a huge amount of that spread throughout here, once again featured from the absolutely atrocious and ridiculous CGI used for the dinosaurs that don't have any sort of consistent movement beyond three general attack behaviors throughout as well as the constant size discrepancies in the scenes and totally ridiculous-looking animation effects for the attacks. While these look really bad, and there's a couple problematic story lines in play that don't make any sort of sense at all, there's some fun here with a lot more action than expected, including a rather fun takeover of the rebel hideout in the jungle which devolves into a series of fun firefights that are pretty enjoyable. As well, with the creatures continuously on the group that leaves for plenty of high-quality confrontations and kill scenes to make up for it's shortcomings. Overall, this one wasn't too bad even with a few flaws.Rated Unrated/R: Graphic Violence and Language.

Rise of the Dinosaurs (2013) 1/2 (out of 4) A special units squad is sent into a jungle to rescue a female hostage but on their way back the helicopter they're riding in crashes. Soon the group realize that their in a mysterious land where dinosaurs still rule and like the taste of human flesh. Originally titled JURASSIC ATTACK, it's clear that this film was simply made so it could cash in on the re-release of Steven Spielberg's JURASSIC PARK but there's no question which is the better picture. Sadly this here is so bad that even a company like The Asylum would be embarrassed by it. There's really nothing here that would make the viewer think that anyone involved with the picture had any intention of making it good. The CGI effects are beyond horrible but I'm sure most are expecting this. It's strange that no matter what type of dinosaur we're looking at they're always pretty much the same size. Just take a look at one awful scene where a dinosaur eats a man and just wait till you see how much blood comes pouring out of its mouth. If the CGI dinosaur looks back what's even worse is the horrid blood coming from its mouth. There's really no drama, no adventure, no laughs, no shocks or anything else that you might expect in a film like this. It's clearly just a rip-off of THE LAND THAT TIME FORGET, which its author gets a mention here. There's even a joke aimed at the Spielberg movie but I'm going to guess that most would have hit the stop button by then. Usually these types of movies can reach a so bad it's good level but this here never comes close to that. The best advice is to just stay away or at least not watch it until dinosaurs are walking the Earth again.