Hammer of the Gods (2009)

Sorry, this movie sucks

Powerful

Not sure how, but this is easily one of the best movies all summer. Multiple levels of funny, never takes itself seriously, super colorful, and creative.

Although I seem to have had higher expectations than I thought, the movie is super entertaining.

OK, it's bad. It's just not THAT bad.Here's the check list:1) Wooden acting? (Tick) 2) Terrible dialogue? (Tick) 3) Weird accents? (Tick) 4) Awful CGI? (Tick) 5) Naff monsters? (Tick) 6) Bewildering decisions/actions? (Tick) 7) Non-sensical plot? (Tick) 8) Primitive special effects? (Tick)Not a lot going for it really, and yet. The acting, whilst poor is a whole lot better than many low budget films I've seen recently. The dialogue is certainly strained, but it does help to create a certain mood. The hero, Thor, whilst looking a bit round in the face, and lacking any signs of intelligence, is certainly stupidly brave, which is exactly how I imagine the dim-witted Norse god to be.Overall, it's an entertaining enough romp that doesn't require much brain power to enjoy and it does make some sense by the end.The god Thor died whilst battling Jormungand, leaving Mjolnir, his mystical hammer, behind on Earth. Thor is then reborn as a human and, together with his two brothers, sets off to seek new lands to conquer and claim as his own. They arrive on an island, only to find that others have reached the island before them. There then ensues a battle with werewolves on the island for possession of Mjolnir - Thor has returned to the site of his death. It's not stated, but the implication is that if Thor can be reunited with Mjolnir then he will regain his godhood.Given that as the setup, the film does make a sort of sense, and it's a mythical tale that involves a lot of familial revenge, and honour, and dying for a cause, so it's just like most of the films made in the last 100 years. With a decent script and actors able to act and a bigger budget so that more than 4 acres of woods can be used to represent the island, then there'd be a damn good blockbuster waiting to resurrect the myth and magic genre that has lacked a decent representative since the 1960's.As it is, the film fails on almost every count, but I'd happily watch it on a wet Sunday in January with a cup of warm cocoa.

Heck, I enjoyed this. I thought it was very well written. I appreciated the fact that there wasn't a lot of that terrible video game style graphic effects which are nothing but eye candy and waste screen time. My only real complaints were the two leads, the guys playing Baldur and Thor. Neither could act a lick and Thor had a horrible haircut to boot. Surely they could have found somebody slightly heroic looking for the lead for crying out loud.I loved the misty, wintery setting. That really worked great for me, very atmospheric. There is something about mucking about in the cold and snow that is very appealing and visually striking. All three of the female leads were very sexy ladies. The bad girl had the greatest accent and man was she smoking hot! Having a black viking was a bit of a stretch but he was the best actor there by and large so it worked out OK. Shaving his head was smart too.This was old fashioned sword and sorcery and I enjoyed it. If the two leads had had a little on screen charisma and acting talent this would have really been something in my opinion. It held my interest all the way, for low budget...I felt very entertained. Go in with an open mind and you might also enjoy yourself!

I have been bedridden for a week with flu and pneumonia and was willing to watch anything except Oprah or The View. The other reviewers have commented eloquently about the idiocy of this film. All I want to add is that I thought the blond bad girl had the sexiest accent, which gave me hope for something to salvage this junior high theater production. The acting and (non)plot was actually comical which made me laugh, which only made me cough and writhe in pain. But I stuck it out waiting for some big sex scene which never came. Just as well, It would have likely made me laugh even more.When the troupe went out and returned to the one-house village again and again after acomplishing nothing, one says "After all this, here we are -AGAIN". I am positive that this was not in the script but just came out and got left in. Perfect.I can only hope that these starving actors at least got lunch for the one day it took to write and film this tome.

If you're the typical movie watcher i.e. you demand to be spoon fed what would widely be considered quality entertainment, then you may not have what it takes to fully (or even partially) appreciate a movie like this. In the bell curve of movie quality, you have the wide mediocre middle bracketed by the thin extremes; "Thor: The Hammer of the Gods" earns its way into one of those thin ends! The plot, the acting, the actors, the action, the special effects, the directing--each is part of what makes up the sublime experience of, well, experiencing this desperate attempt by all involved in its production to create something good...and ultimately, inadvertently, creating something much, much better! If you're the atypical movie watcher, prepare the popcorn, get comfortable, and get ready to be entertained!!!