Hot Millions (1968)

Touches You

Although it has its amusing moments, in eneral the plot does not convince.

Wow! What a bizarre film! Unfortunately the few funny moments there were were quite overshadowed by it's completely weird and random vibe throughout.

While it doesn't offer any answers, it both thrills and makes you think.

This is a wonderful, sophisticated British comedy caper that may take two or more viewings for one to fully enjoy. It did me. That's because much of the comedy is subtle or cleverly masked. A simple exchange in unassuming dialog often contains a pointed piece of humor. On a second viewing, some weeks later, I caught some of that, which I didn't remember. So, I watched it once more a few days later and discovered even more subtle gems tucked away in this seemingly simple and straightforward script.Ira Wallach and Peter Ustinov wrote a masterful screenplay for this film. At first sitting, it may seem to be slow to develop. But, therein lies some very smart humor in the signs, news headlines, and other things Ustinov sees after he gets out of prison. He is being released from H.M. Prison Wormwood Scrubs. I don't think this is spilling the beans since the film opens with Ustinov's character finishing the taxes of the warden who is about to release him from jail – or gaol, in British English. (Might not such a tautology be used in this film?)Made at MGM British studios in England, "Hot Millions" has a superb cast of English and American Actors. Ustinov is Marcus Pendleton, aka Caesar Smith. Maggie Smith is Patty Terwilliger who becomes Mrs. Smith. Both are superb in their roles as are Karl Malden and Bob Newhart. Malden plays Carlton Klemper, the CEO of an American firm with operations in London – Ta Can Co (it stands for Tacoma Concrete and Cement Corp.). Newhart is Willard Gnatpole, an assistant head of the company who's in charge of the computer. Robert Morley is delightful in his small part as Caesar Smith, and Cesar Romero is fun in his cameo as a Brazilian customs inspector. Did they need a real-real Cesar to complete the hilarity here? What a hoot the scene is when he makes Klemper pour out a jar of instant coffee that he was "smuggling" into Brazil. Imagine someone taking coffee into Brazil. That's like taking coals to Newcastle. Or, for younger Americans, hot dogs to a ball game.A handful of uncredited characters add more humor. Most notable are some older men in a Gentleman's Club. I won't describe the plot because, for those who haven't seen the film, the unfolding story provides many of the gleeful moments about this comedy gem. But this film has something more than the comedy. It's a nice look at human relationships, friendships and blossoming romance. Especially among shy folks at fist.Others might find it interesting that MGM had a subsidiary studio in England that operated for three decades. MGM-British was established at Denham Film Studios in 1936. It was inactive during World War II but resumed operations in facilities at Borehamwood after the war. Many MGM films set in England were made there. "Hot Millions" was among the last.As a comedy, this film also has the distinction of being one of the earliest movies to have a computer as a main character. The first one that I know of was "Desk Set" in 1957, a comedy with Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn. The next one was a year before this one. "Billion Dollar Brain" was a crime-thriller with Michael Caine and Karl Malden in 1967."Hot Millions" is a wonderful film for the whole family. Don't mind that younger viewers won't get much of the humor. Then one should watch it again for the things you probably missed. Did he get the 500 plus pounds refund, or was he put on the carpet to defend his return? The only thing that still gnaws at me after flushing out most of the humor here is what happened when the warden sent in his tax return.What a hoot of a film and pure enjoyment in the characters and story. What a delightful ending that catches one off guard. And then a final ending (oxymoron) after that to warm one's heart. I can't resist leaving off without a few samples of humor from this film.Landlady, "So you're a traffic warden now? That's a nice steady job." Patty, "Yeah, I got fired today." Landlady, "What for?" "Well, I haven't the heart to give anyone a ticket. It's wicked trying to park out West. I let them treble park right along the Strand, see." Marcus,"Oh, I couldn't fire you. Patty. You'd starve to death." Patty,"Assets? What are they?" Marcus, "Young female donkeys …ha ha. Oh, Patty. " Caesar Smith, "Moths are my passion since my wife died."Marcus/Caesar, "After all, no greatness is possible without a little intelligent madness, is it?" Carlton, "Ah, you put that beautifully. Let me write that down." Marcus/Caesar, "Well now, give credit where credit is due, sir. I believe it was Hitler who said that, sir." Carlton, "It just goes to show you – there's nothing new under the sun. Nothing changes but man's capability for change." Marcus/Caesar, "Oh, that's lovely too. Who said that?" Carlton, "Napoleon!" Patty, "Oh,it's hot in here. May I take my coat off?" Willard, "Yes! Anything."Carlton, "Yessir! When the time comes, I may even put in a bid for all of England." Marcus/Caesar, "Hadn't you better wait till it's solvent?"Man at card table in the Gentleman's Club, "Is this your first time at the club?" Marcus, "This club, yes! I'm just down from the North."Marcus has been pumping the card players for names of top notch computer experts. The eldest player finally says, "If this keeps up, I shall violate a lifetime principle and play bridge with women."

I was excited to discover this late sixties comedy staring some of my favorite people - Maggie Smith, a very young Bob Newhart and, of course, Peter Ustinov. My disappointment was thus compounded to discover the film doesn't work as either a comedy or a perfect heist film. Ustinov plays a small time crook just out of prison who sets his sites on a large American corporation based in London. Bluffing his way past dimwitted CEO Karl Malden and tech geek Newhart, Ustinov passes himself off as a computer expert and immediately plans the 'perfect heist' part of the film. To do this he needs to get passed a tamper proof security system that guards the corporation mainframe. And here is problem one. His perfect plan only works because everyone else in the film is remarkably trusting and stupid. His lame excuses are taken at face value and this must be the only computer center anywhere not to bother with video cameras. The second problem is the heist (fraud really) happens within the first 30 minutes of the film robbing the rest of the picture of much in way of dramatic tension. Maggie Smith is sadly miscast as Ustinov's ditsy next door neighbor/secretary who just can't keep a job. I love Maggie Smith but she just seems too together here, too composed, the part called for more of a wacky, physical comedian. Furthermore, Ustinov and Smith have no chemistry together, maybe it's the age difference, but the later romantic relationship, as devoid of actual romance as it is, still comes off a little creepy. Ustinov co-wrote the script, and it was thought well of at the time, but I found it unfunny, meandering and a sad waste of a great cast.

Co-writer and leading actor Peter Ustinov has never been more ingratiating and wily (and handsome) than he is here playing a paroled ex-con who is an expert with numbers; he studies up on the burgeoning computers field and gets a job with a firm that, once he cracks the main code, will allow him to embezzle his way into a million pounds. Although the plot set-up is both cheeky and creaky (partly because we've been in this territory before), Ustinov's nonchalant genius parlays itself into a wonderful character; never depraved or insulting, he seems to catch himself off-guard with his successes, of which each is followed by another in the actor's repertoire of funny faces. The direction is hectic and perfunctory, and the editing is nervous, but there are some lovely scenes such as when Ustinov is invited up to ex-secretary Maggie Smith's flat and begins playing beautiful piano (she reciprocates with a duetting flute in the picture's finest moment). Once the mechanisms of the story have unfolded, there isn't much point going on, though the film has several more scenes which are upbeat but unessential. As Ustinov's boss, Karl Malden modulates (somewhat) his irascible nature, but Bob Newhart's nerdy associate is the proverbial egghead and schnook. Smith's Cockney working girl is fun until she marries Ustinov, which is just about the time the movie starts darting about, looking for a finish line. **1/2 from ****

This is a rip-roaring British comedy movie and one that i could watch over and over again without growing tired. Peter Ustinov has never performed in a bad role and this is no exception, particularly with his dry wit but very clever master plan. Karl Malden has always been an admirer of mine since he starred in 'Streets of San Francisco'. I believe that Maggie Smith is the real star of this film though, appearing to be so inept at everything she tries to do but in truth is so switched on, particularly at the end when she informs everyone that she has invested so much money that she has discovered whilst laundering his clothes. One thing does concern me though, could someone please tell me why i cannot purchase this on either DVD or VHS format in the UK, could someone please assist?