The Witches (1990)

Sorry, this movie sucks

Just perfect...

I really wanted to like this movie. I feel terribly cynical trashing it, and that's why I'm giving it a middling 5. Actually, I'm giving it a 5 because there were some superb performances.

At first rather annoying in its heavy emphasis on reenactments, this movie ultimately proves fascinating, simply because the complicated, highly dramatic tale it tells still almost defies belief.

To begin with, the main reason I rated it 8 and not 10 is the creepiness of the witches. Yes, I know they are shown exactly like Roald Dahl described them, but I really think that it's different to see it on screen rather than read about it. The true face of the Grand High Witch is absolutely repulsive to the point I feel sick looking at it and want to skip directly to her counter-transformation. As other reviewers have noted, it's for PG-13 more than for PG. The rest of the film is very charming. Grandmother Helga is splendid and exactly like I imagined her when reading the book. Luke's a bit shrill with his "Graaaandma!" but acts very well. Anjelica Huston (apart from the true-face sequences) is a perfect Grand High Witch, and the hotel staff and Bruno (a nicer incarnation of Augustus Gloop) are hilarious. Right, but I know it's always more interesting to read about flaws, so…The character of Miss Irvine is a bit underdeveloped and even if one hasn't read the book (I have), it can be noticed that it is a later deus ex machina addition (one moment she's cackling with everybody else and the next she "never really wanted to be with them anyway"). I mean, the Grand High Witch burns at least one witch per year and does horrible things to kids – compared to that, merely not allowing her secretary to attend the banquet is nice everyday behavior; so it seems odd that Miss Irvine alone suddenly snaps and for a petty reason at that. But Jane Horrocks whom I like very much does a wonderful job of the part and manages to make it as convincing as the script allows. I personally liked the change to the ending in itself. I believe that the problem with filming the original ending isn't its bittersweet flavor – it just leaves too many threads hanging. Fine in a book, but, in my opinion, hard to film. It's a pity that the filmmakers took the other option to the extreme as well, and the whole Susan-Irvine-ex-machina thing seems rushed altogether, as many reviewers point out. Besides, although it effectively concludes the plot line of Luke's life as a mouse (the chief one that left the book ending open), it raises an entirely new question of the witches' nature – the book was very vague on it; Grandma said the witches are humanoid demonic creatures, but the Grand High Witch selected the elderly witches and said that they were the ancestors of others. And now we learn that a witch can turn human if she really wants (and I'm really puzzled about the hair – was Miss Irvine by the end still in her wig though with human hands or did her new hair magically grow exactly to match the wig?). Of course, it's Dahl and not Tolkien so no one expects a full story of witches from the creation of the world with all dynasties and rulers, but the witches are left a pretty mysterious species, and here even more than in the book. However, I believe that (again and again, save for the witches' true faces) it's a very nice family movie. The ending of the book is quite a depressing one for kids – I don't know firsthand as I read it at nineteen (it still nearly brought me to tears), but I'm sure that had I read it at around seven, at the same time as the Chocolate Factory, the Giant Glass Elevator, the Giant Peach, and Mr. Fox, I would have been terribly shocked, especially with the contrast. The movie ending is not so much rushed as to be a problem during watching. It's very funny and touching, I particularly liked Miss Irvine sending the white mice back to Luke. The questions only come to your head later, and they don't keep you from enjoying the film.

Overall: I known 4/10 seems quite low but in Gods honest truth, I didn't enjoy this movie half as much as some other Dahl movies. Entertaining? yes; worth a watch? Yes; 100% Rotten Tomatoes? I think this is a stretch. I would recommend a one time watch with this movie but just don't think about it at all.Good: The effects would have been good for it's time but do feel quite dated today. The music and cinematography is excellent and miles better than expected. It entertains you from start to finish and I was never bored purse. The pacing is decently done. They definitely made the witches look revolting even by today's standards.Bad: As stated above, the effects are sub par today but that can't be helped. The characters aren't interesting nor is the sub par acting that lifts them of the page. An absurd number of plot holes and inconsistencies that I actually lost count while watching. The ending was clearly done last minute and was just done to make it all nice and happy. It doesn't feel like it knows what it's doing; the concept of magic and evil witches could be good for children but the content is more suitable for older audiences who wouldn't be interested.Best Part: The grand and disturbing unveiling of the witches beneath their masks.4/10

As a kid, Roald Dahl held a reputation as the "thinking child's" favorite author. His stories always had an undertone of darkness about them, a cruel edge. Even his lighter stories, like "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory," doesn't spare its young characters. Later in life, when I discovered that Dahl also wrote dark thrillers and even erotica, it wasn't surprising. Dahl's style has always made him a rough fit for Hollywood, who like their children flicks to be safe and sanitized. When Dahl adaptations do turn out alright, like "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory," they tend to only loosely resemble their source material. Which brings me to "The Witches," a surprisingly macabre family film."The Witches" starts appropriately, as a dark fairy tale told by a grandmother to her grandson. The old woman lays down the movie's ground rules. Witches are evil inhuman beings, with purple eyes, no toes, and bald heads. They live to murder children, who smell like dog droppings to them. The parents are killed in a car crash soon afterwards, leaving Luke alone with his grandmother. After a diabetic attack, the old woman is sent to a English hotel to recuperate, joined by her grandson. Fate would have it that the hotel, that same weekend, would be holding a gathering of witches, led by the Grand High Witch. There, the boy overhears the witches' newest plot, a plan to turn of all of England's children into mice."The Witches" is a children's film. Its protagonist is the kind of can-do, heroic kid usually seen in films of this type. The story's climatic thrust depends on a child outsmarting adults, another stalwart feature of the genre. There's almost a layer of "gee-shucks" sincerity to the way Luke interacts with his grandmother and the other boy his age. Luke and his friend Bruno spends the entire second half of the film in the form of a mouse, which allows for all sorts of cute antics. The emotional center of the story is the boy's relationship with his grandmother, one of safety and warmth. The film ultimately does not transcend the genre.But, boy, does it try. "The Witches" is amazingly grotesque at times, enough so that you can fairly categorize it as a kid-friendly horror film. The film makes it clear, from the beginning, that witches want to kill children. It doesn't use any softer synonyms or dance around it. The film's highlight is the witches' meeting. Angelica Huston's head witch removes her skin and hair, revealing a grotesque true face, her skin stretching, body contorting. It's a moment of body horror worthy of Cronenberg. The Grand High Witch has the wart covered skin, sunken eyelids, and hook nose of your stereotypical witch but the film extends the stereotypes to their extreme. That sequence also features a whole room of old women revealing stub feet and balding, scaly heads. The image of young boys similarly stretching and morphing into a mouse is equally unsettling. The finale, a room of witches shrinking into mice, maintains those nasty creature effects. Though the Jim Henson Creature Studio effects are somewhat cartoony I bet they still provided many young watchers with vivid nightmares.Another thing to like about "The Witches" is the mythological footprint it puts on the witch concept. The script treats witches as if they were vampires or werewolves, classical monsters with specific traits, powers, and weaknesses. The script speaks in sweeping, fable-like terms. All witches are evil, devoted to murdering kids. Why? Because they're monsters, that's why. Their nasty appearances match their attitudes, only able to disguise their evil for so long.The movie is also helped out by its strong cast. Anjelica Huston is delightfully over-the-top as the film's villain, the wicked head witch. She speaks with a cartoonish German accent, fully committed to the material. Even while under extensive make-up, the actress' mannerisms are visible. Mai Zetterling is also notable as the grandmother, warm but with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes. Though a bit flat as the young lead, Jasen Fisher is a strong enough actor to carry his role. His performance actually improves when the character is turned into a mouse, the young actor's voice working quite well.Nicolas Roeg's usually stylish direction is muted a bit here but he still pulls off some memorable visuals. The film is uniformly strong up until the very end. The script wimps out, providing an unlikely solution to the hero's problem, de-mouse-fying him at the last minute. It's an especially lazy screen writing decision and the only blotch on an otherwise strong film, a surprisingly twisted kids flick.

I really like THE WITCHES. It was a childhood favourite of mine back at the time - I was born in 1981, so was roughly the same age as the kid in it. In addition, I think it's the film that most authentically captures the spirit of Roald Dahl's book, more so than either of the CHARLIE AND THE CHOCOLATE FACTORY adaptations. The combination of Nic Roeg's outstanding direction (who thought of using an art-house director for a kid's film? It was a gamble that really paid off) and Jim Henson's great puppet work makes for a truly superlative movie.The storyline is deliciously dark and, although it's kept simple throughout, the film achieves a remarkable level of world-building in a short space of time. Then there's the cast: Anjelica Huston, completely sinister in THAT role (forget THE ADDAMS FAMILY, that's nothing compared to this), a deliciously deadpan Bill Paterson, a hilariously pompous Rowan Atkinson, and a sweet Mai Zetterling holding it all together as the kindly granny.I still love the mouse puppets they use in this film, and the effects really hold up even today. I consider the big reveal with Huston to be one of the best, and most shocking, ever put on film. Yes, the sugar-sweet ending may be off-putting to some - and a departure from the original - but it doesn't spoil what is, in many ways, a perfect little movie.