3 Musketeers (2011)

Plenty to Like, Plenty to Dislike

A Masterpiece!

If the ambition is to provide two hours of instantly forgettable, popcorn-munching escapism, it succeeds.

An old-fashioned movie made with new-fashioned finesse.

This was my favorite Asylum film to date. It had action, bad puns, cheesy blood scenes. and they even threw in a few explosions. A few of the side actors were not that good at their jobs, like the guy who played Alexandra's boss, but the main characters seemed to all have fun and enjoy their roles. You have to realize going into this that it isn't some highbrow theatrical masterpiece. It's an action movie called 3 Musleters and takes place in modern times for crying out loud... You get exactly what that promises; nothing more, nothing less. I'd give it a 5 out of 10 if it weren't rated low by people who clearly took this movie too seriously. Personally, I laughed through most of this. And for the record, someone posted a "goof" about the stove during the explosion not being a gas stove and was therefore not a gas source for an explosion, but a lot of electric stoves are also gas stoves!

You never think a movie could be this bad, but it is. The movie starts out with a sexy bra and pantie scene, but the female talent is pale, out of shape and less than attractive. The camera work is beyond shaky and the video editing looks like it was done with Windows Movie Maker, Millennium Edition.The premise is good and with a bigger budget, better actors and more realist special effects, this could have been a cult classic, but when you use a credit card machine as a badge reader, you loose the audience. I didn't know that guy was trying to secure a room, I thought he was paying for a pizza.Thought this would be good for a laugh, but it's just a bad example about why some scripts should never be written and some movies should never be green lit. Unless you know someone in this movie or participated in the production, I say save your time and energy.

This movie was somewhat amusing. If you don't expect intelligent dialogs, awesome special effects and top-class actors you can watch this movie. Switch-off your brain and watch.The story is a typical good and bad thing without surprises. There are some would-be hackers with very unrealistic hacking methods, some would-be fighters, boring fighting scenes and a lot of low-level special effects at which I have to say that I have seen worse effects in other movies.I really liked the charisma of Alexandra D'Artangan (Heather Hemmens) and Isaac Athos (Xin Sarith Wuku). But most of the actors are completely lacking in acting performance. The bad guy Treville the Cardinal (Alan Rachins) is an inflexible old guy and simply not credible as a bad guy from my opinion.The camera work is awful. Too much switching (close, distant, close, distant...).All things considered the involved parties tried hard too make a movie with good effects but unfortunately they didn't managed it.

Imagine taking the dialog from the balloons in a comic book and simply using it as a screenplay. Would it work? See this movie for an answer. The story of the 3 musketeers has been shoehorned into a paint-by-numbers spy/secret agent/commando story by assigning the names and some plot points of the original to the rather un-original characters and story of this deadly opus. I admit I didn't make it through the whole thing so I'll tell you what I saw before giving up in disgust. A crack team of "musketeers" has penetrated some major military installation in (I guess) China and is trashing their warlike computer which has been cleverly designed to resemble some high voltage switchgear. The location has been cleverly disguised as a factory or oil refinery or something with a lot of pipes. In the process our heroes kill the half dozen useless guards, blow up an airliner, a helicopter and a few other things. The computer whiz hacks an anti-aircraft gun with his tablet computer, poking the poor thing savagely with his index finger. A dozen jabs or so and he has logged onto Chinese wi-fi, cracked the firewall of the internet enabled gun, aimed it, fired it and blown up the enemy fighters, all with less keystrokes (finger pokes?) than it took YOU to get the movie to play! We never find out exactly why they caused all this havoc. Somehow they get back to safety where they regroup and meet up with the girl "musketeer" who is meditating in a brief two-piece swim suit, perhaps hoping to remember where she left the rest of her costume. The single sentence, comic book balloon style speech continues throughout this mayhem, branding all involved as 2-D cardboard totally disposable and boring characters. Even the sexy girl is uninteresting and dull.At first I thought this would be a spoof of this type of story and looked forward to some entertaining gags. But no, this thing is apparently meant to be "for real" and we must suffer through the antics of two brainless lugs and one bimbo as they karate-chop their way through life.This clunker has the appearance of a costly production, what with many 'splodin' things, flyovers of a big city, cgi space satellites and such, but it's still small enough to require the crew to post bogus favorable reviews, hoping to bolster the pathetic rating and maybe con a few credulous viewers into buying or renting this wretched dog! It's a stinker of the bottom tier! Avoid!