Thunderbirds (2004)

The Worst Film Ever

Powerful

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

There are moments that feel comical, some horrific, and some downright inspiring but the tonal shifts hardly matter as the end results come to a film that's perfect for this time.

Alan Tracy is angry at being stuck in a high class boarding school while the rest of the family work in the secret International Rescue as the Thunderirds. His father former astronaut Jeff (Bill Paxton) is the leader. Alan is home for spring break. The evil Hood (Ben Kingsley) has attached a goo on their ship that acts as a tracking device. He attacks the orbiting space station Thunderbird 5. While most of the team go to the rescue, Hood and his henchmen arrive on the island. They capture Prof. Ray Hackenbacker. His son Fermat, Alan and friend Tin-Tin (Vanessa Hudgens) escape. Lady Penelope Creighton-Ward (Sophia Myles) and her butler Aloysius Parker set off to the rescue.I never saw the 60s TV show. I don't know much about it. I certainly won't compare this to that. This is basically Spy Kids with less fun. It's a lot of forgettable action. The lead kid isn't anything special. A young Vanessa Hudgens has a good size role. Ben Kingsley does his evil villain character as he sometimes does. Bill Paxton doesn't have much to do since he's stuck in the space station for most of the movie. It's not good but mostly harmless even considering its targeted kids audience.

Now I know they are making a new Thunderbirds series so I just thought I would jot down a quick review describing what I thought of this monstrosity.This is a movie that deserves a big fat zero. I wanted to go and see it. So I asked my mum even though I was in my 40s to take me. She has a pained look on her face and said do I have to? I said yes. I looked in the papers and it had only lasted a day.A couple of weeks later it was out on VHS and I bought it. Wow was I in for a shock. I have seen some bad movies but this one must rank as one of the lowest. I loved TB as child. Loved the music and the rockets.In this one it is a lame kids movie. Aimed at under 4s.If you know someone and want to get them a present which will make them hate you this is it! Truly and complete. The worst ever. Hang your head in shame Frakes.

Extract from Gerry Anderson's interview at BBC in 2008 : http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/entertainment/7655589.stmReporter : You were reportedly unhappy with the Thunderbirds film that was released in 2004. How do you feel about it now?Gerry Anderson : I was bitterly upset about that because I had been invited by the producer to discuss the possibility of acting as a consultant. But a few days later I had a letter saying: "I'm terribly sorry but we've got enough creative people on the payroll so we can't offer you anything." Four weeks before the premiere I got a call from Universal Pictures saying they would pay me $750,000 (£432,000) for me to attend and I turned it down. I could've done with that, but I couldn't bring myself to accept it and make false reports about it. I didn't go to see it, but about three months after somebody gave me a DVD and I watched it on my own. I thought it was disgraceful that such a huge amount of money was spent with people who had no idea what Thunderbirds was about and what made it tick.

The only time this turkey should be served up is at about 3AM on the day after Thanksgiving or 3am on Boxing Day when everyone is sleeping off their dinners.The characters in this movie are more plastic than the puppets in the original series, despite the actors best efforts.Unfortunately Jonathan Frakes not only missed the boat on this one, he missed the whole fracking ocean! His purported quote about never directing should be quite true, but given the bean counters in charge of the movie industry these days, you never can tell.However he cannot be entirely blamed for this abomination. I had the impression that a bunch of blind, one armed chimps put together the script form the shredded rejects from The Spy Kids franchise.Avoid at all costs.