Chinese Zodiac (2013)

i must have seen a different film!!

I wanted to like it more than I actually did... But much of the humor totally escaped me and I walked out only mildly impressed.

The best films of this genre always show a path and provide a takeaway for being a better person.

Easily the biggest piece of Right wing non sense propaganda I ever saw.

A total crap film from a martial art legend, Jackie Chan. "Chinese Zodiac" is predictable, frustrating, dramatized, unfunny, boring and pretentious action packed that shouldn't be produced at any chances. My thought during watching this disaster is when would this film over also feel regrets for not turning it off after about 30 minutes. The idea of this movie could be come from some Hollywood blockbuster film like "Mission Impossible", "Indiana Jones" and is that pirates, seriously? There are so many coincidences, disorganized plot, cheap yet unfunny line, non-sense action sequences and amateur acting from it's supporting casts. With holes everywhere and so many weaknesses spotted, it just turns my mood to see this and give no care of what happens to the relics or any bronzes which JC and his crews rescued. Even advanced gadgets the movie got or Jackie Chan itself couldn't save these. At the end, the best part of this horrible nightmare is how relieved I feel when the movie finally over, what a completely waste of time. Alongside with "The Spy Next Door", "Chinese Zodiac" couldn't be only just contenders for the worst Jackie Chan film ever made but also wounds action genre itself unless you're a Jackie Chan fan, I think you couldn't be hating this much as long as your idol appears on screen.

I have been a fan of Jackie Chan's since I was a teenager... which means that he has been working in the action genre since the early '70s... which means that he's already 60 years old. Chinese Zodiac is far from being at the same level of classics from his filmography, such as Armour of God or Operation Condor, and it's a sequel of those films which retakes the adventures of the "Asian Hawk" (also known as "Condor"), a combination of James Bond and Indiana Jones who employs his amazing physical ability, high-technology gadgets and big doses of humor in order to find historical relics of a big monetary and cultural value. In this occasion, the search of brass heads will take the Hawk from elegant European palaces to the depths of the jungle, and he will be in conflict with professional counterfeiters, pirates (including the Asian version of Captain Jack) and students who protest the illegal auction of historical artifacts which belong to Chinese people. In summary, we are in presence of a film with too many sub-plots, and that provokes unavoidable confusion, a parade of characters who appear and disappear from the film without any explanation, and dramatic moments which should cause an impact... if we could understand what's going on. On the action aspect, Chinese Zodiac is a bit modest, but that doesn't avoid the presence of intense fights and excellent stunts. In order to make his life a bit easier, Chan delegated the biggest part of the fights to his co-stars, and he employed a considerable digital help to make many of the stunts; however, we can see him in a very good shape during the denouement of the film, in one of his traditional fights with a complicated choreography, and in an attractive action sequence on the slope of a volcano, which looks like a modernized version of that famous stunt which almost cost his life in Operation Condor. So, despite not being a highly memorable film, Chinese Zodiac is an entertaining action film which deserves a moderate recommendation to fans of Chan's who need confirmation of this artist's (note that I didn't say "actor") talent, and of his indomitable compromise to the audience, being at an age when he should be resting and producing films, instead of keep risking his life in front of the cameras. But I don't know if I could recommend it to neophytes in the matter; to them, I would suggest to start approaching Chan's filmography with some of the films he made in the '80s (Police Story and Police Story 2 are my favorite ones from his whole filmography). And, as always, don't forget to stay during the credits of Chinese Zodiac, where we can see bloopers, some details from behind the scenes and even a retrospective of Chan's filmography. This might seem a bit arrogant and self-indulgent, but if there's someone who earned the right of saying "I'm proud of myself", that one is Chan. After all, he has payed the admiration of his fans with blood.

This review may contain spoilersI gave this a 6 because of the wonderful series of "greatest hits" of JC stunts during the ending credits. However, the film itself rates closer to a 4 or even a 3. I'm so sorry to have to write that, as a lifelong JC fan, it's disappointing and not the kind of Final Performance that would have done his career the justice it deserves.As others have written, long-time JC fans will be left nonplussed. This film is more of an extended chase scene - with comedy that would be appropriate for an American sit-com (think: Married with Children) (yes, it is that lame, but in addition to sexism (one Chinese woman spends a lengthy amount of time moaning about her injured foot and the French woman is inept with weapons and generally silly), ethnic stereotypes/denigrations of French (men), and Americans. The great stunts of yore are gone, but we can't fault a 58 year old for not being able/willing to slide from skyscraper roofs or jump from bridges (see also: ending credits scenes: it is clearly getting harder for JC to take the falls and injuries as he once did). This film confirms that there is no Heir Apparent to his astonishing legacy, which is a pity. However, there is a nice extended scene at about the 2/3 point in which we see the JC we've loved for all these years, which includes several charming nods to previous films. The skydive (see below) and roll through the volcano seemed pointlessly dangerous and didn't really carry the plot forward in any way that I could see. The combat between the two women (Qi Shu & Caitlin Dechelle) was impressive (although quite brief)- and there was a nice touch at the conclusion of their fight. It helped to redeem some of the earlier oh-I'm-a-helpless-girl moments.The plot is as fragmented as this review. It is equal parts moral diatribe and prototype for a Disneyland ride, with small moments of humor. The dialogue is stilted and slides into alarmingly preachy soliloquies at odd times.I'm not sure where Mr. Chan spent the film budget, but certainly not on dubbing for the US release. The soundtrack is occasionally muffled and the voices often fail to align with the movement of the actors' mouths (when they are speaking English). I'm not sure if the rather disappointing CGA during the "pirates" scene was meant to be as laughable as it appeared. I'd like to give JC the benefit of the doubt and hope so.A couple of the characters dress like they wandered off from a children's theater performance of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. I'm not sure what that is all about.As another reviewer remarked, the laws of gravity were apparently set aside (or the drop was made from 30,000+) as there was so much time for the characters to mess around before the parachutists reached the ground. Die-hard Jackie Chan fans will watch this - we can't help ourselves, I suspect. And for those who don't know why we're such fans, either watch through to the conclusion or fast forward to the ending credits. This fellow has spent his adult life entertaining us - and literally risking life and limb to do so - and for that we are grateful.

The first half-hour is fine. Starts with a pretty good action sequence. My wife and I were off and running, and well-aware of what we were getting into - or at least we thought. This had a decent score here on IMDb, and I figured, given the track-record of Jackie's previous films, that it might have been even better than the score..You see, the wife and I have watched many Jackie Chan action flicks throughout our time together - so we know that they usually contain amazing action sequences, thin plots, questionable acting, and childish humor. We have no problem with that, like I said, we thought we knew what we were getting into. And at the 30minute mark - we were fine with the film. It was "Silly Jackie Chan Movie-Night" at our house, and we were pretty excited to escape in the silliness.But BOY DOES THIS THING GO SOUTH QUICK after that first half-hour. The biggest problem isn't the plot(which is record setting bad even for Jackie), but the main problems are with some terrible production shortcuts in the films second-half. Terribly fake painted backdrops, awful cgi, stupid character stereotypes, and just plain despicable film-making. Honestly, this thing makes the effects and action sequences in "King Solomon's Mines" from the 80's look good.Easily the worst film I've seen a long, long time.The editing/direction of the action sequences in the second half are deplorable, and the action from Jackie himself goes into terrible gimmick territory. The last hour is truly cringe-worthy. Go back and rent "New Police Story", a film that I only gave a 5/10, but looks like a best picture winner next to this piece of junk.I still love you Jackie, but for goodness sakes man, let someone else sit in the directors chair.33/100 I truly can't believe the positive reviews - and that comes from someone who has really enjoyed some of Jackie's silly action flicks throughout the years.This might be his worst.You Might like this if you like(d):drinking drain cleaner, jumping off high story buildings headfirst, getting kicked between the legs, and Master of Disguise(slightly worse).Don't say I didn't warn you.