Conan the Destroyer (1984)

Expected more

The performances transcend the film's tropes, grounding it in characters that feel more complete than this subgenre often produces.

A terrific literary drama and character piece that shows how the process of creating art can be seen differently by those doing it and those looking at it from the outside.

The movie's neither hopeful in contrived ways, nor hopeless in different contrived ways. Somehow it manages to be wonderful

In this absurd film, Wilt Chamberlain who played the role of Bombaata was the worst basketball player who signed up for this role. His acting was just horrible to watch, so awkward and deadbeat, so painful to watch. The runner-up was the young female actress who played the princess role, so bad and so painful to watch.This 1984 film is worse than the 1982 Conan The Barbarian. The screenplay was bad enough, all the new characters created were just terrible. There were so many laughable details that only could let pass for its ridiculous fantasy genre. The princess must had a personal hair stylist, a costume designer, a seamstress to tailor her wardrobe and accompanied her in an RV along the journey. Arnold also performed worse than his prequel The Barbarian, lot of awkward and exaggerated facial expressions, looked more like a comedian or a drunk.

As someone who personally just found the original "Conan The Barbarian" film to just be mediocre, I didn't have high hopes for this film. It's probably because it's poorly paced and doesn't have interesting characters. The plot is that Conan is sent by an evil queen on some mission to resurrect his dead lover. He realizes he's being tricked and they're going to sacrifice her niece. Apparently, Wilt Chamberlain played a woman in this movie. Why don't they have a thumbnail image for him on this website? It's a really dumb casting choice. There's this one guy who's also really obnoxious and he reminded me of Rob Schneider.There actually is an interesting bit at the end where a sea monster god appears. What's fascinating is that the creator of "Conan The Barbarian" was friends with the creator of the Cthulhu mythos. They subtly referenced each other in their works. I'm wondering if the sea monster god that appears is supposed to be one of the creatures from the Cthulhu mythos. I so missed James Earl Jones from the last movie as this new villain was nowhere near as entertaining. Oh and happy tenth anniversary, Nostalgia Critic! I'm celebrating you by reviewing films you have already reviewed! *1/2

I liked "Conan the Destroyer" almost as much as the first of the film series ("Conan the Barbarian"). I just miss Valeria being with Conan, she died in the first movie. Otherwise, I enjoyed this film.Grace Jones was a perfect addition to this film - she was extremely popular at the time - and well suited to play the part of Zula. Tracey Walter (Malak) gave some comical relief in the film. The role of Princess Jehnna seemed tailored to fit Olivia D'Abo.The script was good for a sword and sorcery movie and I liked it very much. A good follow-up to the first film.Movie Plug: King Conan is due out December 2015 which is the third part of this film series. Our very own Arnold Schwarzenegger will play Conan once again.9/10

Sequel to Conan the Barbarian sees Conan (Arnold Schwarzenegger) leading a group of characters on a quest. Evil Queen Taramis (Sarah Douglas) promises to bring Conan's dead love Valeria back to life if he can protect her niece Jehnna (Olivia d'Abo) as she journeys to retrieve a jewel that has something to do with a prophecy. It's all bull though, as the Queen intends to kill Conan and friends once their task is through and sacrifice virgin Jehnna to the god Dagoth.This sequel is OK but nowhere near as good as the first film. More comedy and watered-down violence don't do much to help it. Arnold seems to play this a little tongue-in-cheek at times, unlike the first one where he played it straight. I had a huge childhood crush on Olivia d'Abo from this movie. She's actually one of the better parts, cast-wise. Basketball player Wilt Chamberlain plays her bodyguard Bombaata. As an actor, he's a great basketball player. Mako returns from the first film and is fine. He should have been the only comic relief but alas, we have the terrible Tracey Walter as Malak, Arnold's moronic thief sidekick. Sarah Douglas always makes for a good villain. Lastly, we have androgynous '80s curiosity Grace Jones as the animalistic Zula. She's amusing to watch, though usually for the wrong reasons. Still, entertaining is entertaining. Altogether it's a weak sequel but not without its merits and hard to hate. It's fun and enjoyable despite its faults.