Miss March (2009)

The Age of Commercialism

Must See Movie...

Best movie ever!

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

I liked some American pie series and so far many comedy movies aped that including some sexy scenes and loads of comedy but failed the reason why American pie worked because it was in late 90s and world was not into that kind of films however the soft-core films were around from 70s & some of the greatest are from the 90s i can say it because i am a fan of the genre but this movie miss march got me tricked i saw the unrated version of the film on DVD but it was way awful,longer & have zero chemistry between the characters plus the comedy scenes try too hard to make someone laugh it just doesn't work.The two main lead guys are stupid specially tucker these guys are trying hard to be playboys but fail hard,the only guy i liked was Dot Mpeg who sings some of the funniest songs ever i laughed hard at the music video where he is dancing with women and lyrics of the song are extremely vulgar but hilarious at same time.The Plot:Eugene & Tucker goes to a cross country trip to find a playboy mansion where Eugene;s former love Cindi Whitehall a.k.a miss march is making an appearance.This is the basic story which drags for no reason Eugene was 4 years in come after the prom night accident when he was about to be intimate with Cindy now he is not sure what will happen Cindi is now a big model he also thinks that she maybe a prostitute now,i have seen plenty of worst films but this take the Oscar award,and who can forget those lesbian chicks in the car sex scene,the script was missing the spark & the flavor of the true comic timing.The Cast:everyone is lame here doing overacting specially Trevor Moore trying to ape Jim Carrey from Ace Ventura,but this lady Raquel Alessi is wasted here she got the looks & can also act wonder why she signed this movie up.Overall Miss March 2009 should be missed but if you like to see Raquel Alessi do watch this at your own risk my rating is 3/10.Skipp It

This has to be one of the weirdest movies ever filmed. The guy couldn't fall down a flight a stairs and have a tool box fall on his head and be in a coma for 4 years. Which is what twists this movie around. Because while he was in a coma his girlfriend becomes a model for playboy. There is no open door for anyone to all of a sudden become a supermodel unless your a famous actress. These movies take to many things way out of proportion which makes more people loose interest in watching the rest of the movie. I know there is always going to be some new actors, but they need to stop picking the shittiest actors of them all and stop putting them in so many movies. How can the guy be excited to get a tobacco pipe as a anniversary gift as well. That is the worst gift.

Watch this if...a second rate comedy and cast that gets off task due to poor directing and a questionably structured script sounds worthwhile. Acting/Casting: 4* - Cregger and Moore are second rate actors playing in a second rate comedy. Craig Robinson helps the film marginally, but his character has awful material to work with. This is likely one of Robinson's worst roles in a movie.Directing/Cinematography/Technical: 4* - After around 30 minutes or so, the film goes haywire and begins to have very little structure. The plot gets lost and then picked back up in the last few minutes of the film. I feel like there is 30-45 minutes of the movie that have no relevance to the plot at all.Plot/Characters: 4* - Again, the premise is descent, but it gets lost while the movie and the story takes on new life with no relevance to the main theme. Too bad the new life it takes on isn't anything but sub-par comedy material.Entertainment Value: 5* - It is slightly entertaining, but that is overshadowed by the fact that the movie has no structure and second rate acting/directing. I likely will not watch again in the future.My Score: 4+4+4+5 = 17/4 = 4.25Email your thoughts to [email protected]

The problem with pushing the envelope is that for everyone who does it well, there's a legion of imitators who do it poorly. Miss March is one of the numerous ugly cousins of the Judd Apatow raunch-comedy genre. Whereas Apatow and a few others do it cleverly and usually with a point, films like this are dumb, shallow and vulgar for the sake of vulgarity. This movie does distinguish itself by creating a main character who is utterly unsympathetic for the target audience of this sort of thing and then pairing him with a sidekick who couldn't be less realistic or more poorly portrayed than casting a labradoodle to play the reanimated corpse of Jonas Salk.Eugene (Zach Cregger) is a high school dork who preaches abstinence to middle schoolers and is almost deathly afraid of having sex with his smokin' hot girlfriend (Raquel Alessi). Just as they're finally about to make the beast with two backs after prom, Eugene falls down the stairs and into a coma. 4 years later, he wakes up and discovers his then-virginal girlfriend is the latest Playboy Playmate. His best friend Tucker (Trevor Moore), who appears to be some weird amalgam of Johnny Knoxville and Cosmo Kramer, concocts a plan where the two of them will head across the country to the Playboy Mansion to confront Eugene's girlfriend over her harlot ways. The plan gets put into fastforward when Tucker has to flee because he stabbed his girlfriend (Molly Stanton) in the face with a fork when she had an epilepsy seizure while performing oral sex. With the help of a couple of mega-horny lesbians and an old high school friend who's become a rapper named Horsedick.MPEG (Craig Robinson), they finally make to the mansion and everybody has a happy ending. Except, of course, for the poor viewer who sits through this whole unfunny melange.The fundamental problem with Miss March is that there's not a single realistic character or moment in the whole thing. In the Apatow raunch-comedy genre, the whole idea is that they're stories about uncomfortable or taboo areas of human life and relationships. The crudity and grossness is a representation of that honesty, making a joke about something nobody talks about. Everything in this movie is phony and contrived. Without that connection to honest reality, the crudity is just sub-adolescent indulgence. Which can be funny, but only if it's actually done in a very smart way.Unfortunately, in addition to being fake, Miss March is poorly written. Let me give you two examples. Eugene is the main character of the story and is immediately presented to the audience as an asexual dork who frightens young children with his anti-sex obsession. Why should anyone, particularly the fans of raunchy humor, identify or empathize with Eugene? He's more like the bad buy from a teen sex comedy. And at the end of the film, there's a scene of humiliation inflicted on Horsedick.MPEG and it's clearly supposed to be one of the big "eewwww!" laughs of the movie. However, humiliation is only funny when it happens to people who deserve it. But there's really no reason for the audience, especially the raunch comedy audience, to resent or dislike Horsedick. He's certainly no more annoying or contemptible than Tucker, who's supposed to be one of the good guys. Since there's no reason for Horsedick to get any "just desserts", it falls almost completely flat when it happens.There are some bare breasts in Miss March, though Eugene's beautiful girlfriend never gets naked, which is about as big a bait-and-switch as you'll find. If you're really stupid, it's also possible you might laugh at this stuff. Other than desperately horny morons, however, no one should watch this thing.