The Haunted World of El Superbeasto (2009)

Too much of everything

To me, this movie is perfection.

Did you people see the same film I saw?

A Masterpiece!

Based upon the comic from Rob Zombie, "The Haunted World of El Superbeasto" is Rob's film in animation, following the adventures of El Super Beasto and his sexy sultry sidekick and sister, Suzi-X (Sheri Moon).The film starts off almost okay with an introduction that suggests William Castle and his gimmicks... but soon devolves into animated pornography, and followed by a strip club. If you want 80 minutes of animated boobs, this is your kind of movie.I mean, I guess Hitler's head in a vat is always fun... and the references to "Halloween", "The Shining" and other horror classics might be a treat for some fans... but still, it just never really takes off to higher levels and makes "Fritz the Cat" look like high art.I kinda liked the songs, though... gotta admit that.

Let's get this on the table before I start. I'm not a tremendous fan of Rob Zombie. His music leaves me cold and I've run hot and cold with his additions to the torture porn sub-genre.This isn't to say that I don't appreciate his artistry or attention to detail. He really seems to dig the seventies/eighties horror classics that he pays tribute to. His films generally feature unusual characters and there's always a moment or two where he pleasantly surprises me. But EL SUPERBEASTO did nothing, nothing at all, to challenge my perception that he's content appealing to the lowest common denominator.This is another instance where I'm stunned by the positive reviews I'm reading. This film seems to exist solely to titillate 13-year old boys. It's full of crude sex and excrement jokes, hundreds of them. I dare you, in fact, to find thirty seconds of this flick that doesn't feature one or the other. Go ahead. If this film was a drinking game, you'd be under the table by 10 minutes in.The sad thing was that I was actually looking forward to seeing this. The character design really looked fabulous. I even thought animation might free Rob from the need to revel in mutilation and torture. I guess it did to a certain extent, although this was replaced by juvenile, extremely juvenile, pandering. This is the type of movie I would have laughed endlessly at when I was nine years old, if I could have convinced my parents to allow me to watch naked animated chicks shooting guns (which I couldn't have).Come on, Rob. I know you've got a great film in you. While the whole head banging thing is no longer my bag, you have grown into a real artist over the years. This was a wasted opportunity. Despite some good animation and a multitude of missed opportunities, EL SUPERBEASTO was beneath you.

I borrowed a copy of this after two of my close friends who usually share the same tastes in film swore that this was a must-see. Goes to show that sometimes, even those that you seem to have everything in common with, will sometimes steer you wrong. The convoluted plot of this un-funny mess of a cartoon revolves around a washed-up, Luchador-masked wrestler, his sexy sister crime-fighting side-kick, her perpetually horny robot side-kick, a very white looking stripper who annoyingly talks like she's from the 'hood, a devil-faced megalomaniacal reject with small-man's-syndrome who's infatuated with said annoying stripper, his talking ape side-kick, some Nazi-zombies, and a bunch of other stupid characters. Throw them all in a blender with some retarded and/or seemingly 'racy' scenarios-and you have THE HAUNTED WORLD OF EL SUPERBEASTO. I'm not a Rob Zombie hater. I like most of his films-a few I don't. This is one that I obviously don't. I found nothing amusing about the 7th-grade humor and found nothing interesting or entertaining about the film in general. I found the whole film to be an exercise in tedium that took me three sittings to finish. I can't knock anyone who genuinely enjoyed this one-I'm definitely in the minority amongst my peers-but watching EL SUPERBEASTO was like watching a feature-length fart-joke...funny for the first two minutes-dull and mind-numbing any longer than that. Don't get me wrong-I revel in sleazy, sexy, gory, subversive films (read virtually any of my reviews for proof...)-but even Nazi-zombies and robots with gear-shift wieners couldn't save this one for me. 2/10

I loved House of 1000 corpses. I really enjoyed The Devil's Rejects. Halloween... unnggg well... you know. As for this "movie"... It's basically unwatchable to anyone who has reached puberty... at least mentally. It never, ever fails to amaze me that an adult can watch something this childish and swoon the entire time over how brilliant it is. Just remake "Animaniacs", back it up with a pseudo "Rocky Horror Picture Show" soundtrack, draw lots of boobs and be sure to use the "F-word" every 30 seconds. Voila! Now it's not a sugar coated pile of poo made to sit your kids in front of to keep then from breaking stuff ... It's a masterpiece! Talk about irritating. The voices, sound effects and everything else is like a Hanna Barberra cartoon on crack. Complete with kazoos, crashes, whistles and fast paced, zippy cartoon overacting through 100 percent of this "movie". The soundtrack is the cheesiest rock opera version of "Rent" that I have ever heard on my life. Shreri Moon Zombie's super high pitched voice did fit in perfectly though. Like listening to a metal garden rake being scrapped across cement while suffering from a seriously bad hangover. Enough to induce vomiting and possibly even suicide. I also thought it was really classy how Rob found a way to plug every single product that he has ever produced... but what else could one do with "Yogi Bear on Crystal Meth" but turn it into one big commercial for (buurp... ugh COUGH... sorry, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit) officially licensed Rob Zombie Merchandise ©.Good god was this movie awful. I loathed it. As I write this review I can hear the accordions, bicycle horns, whistles and crashes mixed in with "classic rock" like "Mr. Roboto" and "Everybody's workin' for the weekend" coming from the next room. Thank god my gun is in the shop.If you're the kind of person who can sit through an hour and a half of Deputy Dog or Tiny Toons and be wowed by the pretty colors and funny sound effects then you will just love this. I am positive that $9,999,990 of the $10,000,000 budget for this film went into researching ways to make it EVEN more dumbed down. I can see ol' R.Z. now... "Alright, we need to put even more F-words in because people are starting to loose interest". "MORE COWBELL I SAID!" So in the end, this IS NOT, NEVER WAS, AND NEVER WILL BE an adult cartoon. It is simply a Rob Zombie themed version of Tiny Toons with lots of F-Words and boobs thrown in to convince "adults" that their entertainment isn't on the same level as a third grader. I lost interest in these type of cartoons at about the same time I started growing hair on my pubes.After really, really looking hard for some redeeming quality here, I did find one good thing about "El Superbeasto". The animators did a great job of staying in the lines. Great job guys! I would totally hang any of the stills from this movie on my fridge... That is if I didn't hate this movie.This was just plain embarrassing... and nauseating. I think that I would rather sit through my grandparent's remake of "2 girls, 1 cup" than to to sit through this again. Yes, it really is that bad... to say the very least.