Underworld: Blood Wars (2017)

Don't listen to the negative reviews

A movie that not only functions as a solid scarefest but a razor-sharp satire.

Blistering performances.

This movie tries so hard to be funny, yet it falls flat every time. Just another example of recycled ideas repackaged with women in an attempt to appeal to a certain audience.

A fifth instalment and the series continues to grow more convoluted and formulaic with every new entry. Whilst acknowledging the hideous reviews this garnered, I was expecting the worst of the worst. Yet, surprisingly, I found this to be somewhat enjoyable. Maybe the declination of this franchise has melted my critical hypothalamus, or perhaps the silly entertainment was enough to occupy my mind. Regardless, this was fine. Selene is recruited by one of the last remaining covens to train new members in becoming Death Dealers. Double-crossing, tainted aspirations and an increase in convolution aids the ever raging war between vampires and lycans. The exact same formula is utilised much like with the previous entries. Selene hides from both races, a new antagonist arises and desires Selene's blood, a third act final battle and then finally leaving the story open for another sequel. Uninspired? Yes. Functional? Sure. Blood is thicker than this expositional narrative which lacks any sense of characterisation. There is not a single line of dialogue that has an ounce of personality. The vampire ancestry expands for no apparent reason other than to confuse you even more. The over reliant clunky CGI detracts from the authentic creature design and prosthetics that the Underworld franchise excelled at. The constant flashbacks, acting as archival footage, were jarring and a lazy method to convey exposition. However, and I can't believe I'm saying this, it was ever so slightly better than 'Awakening'. Beckinsale owns the role of Selene yet again. Dance actually had a sword fight this time! Pulver's campy antagonistic execution was a much required element given the abysmal villain in the previous film. The action sequences were filmed well without relying too heavily on effects and quick cuts. Bloody and gory with many *cue Mortal Kombat voice* fatalities! Let's be honest though, Blood Wars is not a good film...but I was never bored. Enough is enough though, no more please.

I've always been a fan of the 'Underworld' franchise. The first film totally blew me away and - amazingly - the sequel (in my opinion, anyway) was that rarest of beasts of a sequel that was actually better than the original. Yes, a few people said the prequel that came next was a missed opportunity, as it didn't address a lot of the mythology that people were hoping for. And, despite many film critics absolutely despising the fourth instalment, I took some dumb enjoyment out of the affair. Therefore, I couldn't really see how 'part 5' would be anything other than more of the same silly, action-packed entertainment. I was wrong. Sadly.I just couldn't believe how much the quality has fallen with this one. It just felt like one of the most generic, by-the-numbers films ever made. Yes, it had some of the same characters in it. Yes, Kate Beckinsale looked good in her catsuit. And, yes, there are still plenty of action scenes. Yet, this time round, it just didn't feel like anything other than an extended trailer for a film.Although Kate Beckinsale does her best in the lead, this time round she seems almost bored to be here - like other roles have dried up and she needs this one to pay the bills. The other characters are equally forgettable; there's a new vampire who basically looks like the 'Mother of Dragons' from 'Game of Thrones' and (yet another) new leader of the werewolves (sorry, 'lycans') who just snarls in a menacing manner and even the - normally great - Charles Dance can't really add any old-school charm to the proceeding. However, when I sat down to watch this, I was hardly expecting major character development and meaningful story arcs - I would have settled for some decent vampire versus werewolves action. I didn't even get that! The action scenes are possibly some of the worst ever in modern movies. Twenty years ago they might have been considered something special, but times have changed and people are expecting something a little different. But, again, I could have taken dull action - what I really got was 'stupid' action! If you think about any of the major fight scenes they make no sense whatsoever. The characters do things that are so ridiculous that it makes all those old horror films where the blonde leading lady doesn't bother killing the killer when she has the upper hand absolutely believable and inspired. I've never seen a more poorly-trained army of vampires who gets wiped out like they're 'normal' humans. I suppose at least they don't 'sparkle' in sunlight.On the plus side, it does shed some light on some questions raised in previous instalments regarding characters who just - sort of - disappeared from the franchise, but apart from that, there's really not much here that you haven't seen before. I hear there's an 'Underworld 6' in the pipeline - I'll probably watch it, but this instalment has severely lowered my expectations towards the franchise.

Hi Readers. Yet, another Underworld story for the vampire genre. When will it ever end. Let's move on, something a little less jaded, perhaps a movie about ghosts that don't even staze their hauntees because their heads are covered in a sheet, OOps that's been done. Lots of black outfits here, although there's some contrast with the white haired members of a northern coven. Is black the new orange, or is orange the new black. Yeah, well you won't be getting much psychoanalysis in this one, except for a sidekick to Beckinsale's character who, surprise, surprise is heir unapparent to the coven's title of jester, no, lord master - I think it is. And the ensuing jealous/zealous battle for the coveted leadership of the coven gets interrupted with a subplot about lichens (not the moss, the werewolves, though they're about on the same par, to me) coming to get revenge - I think or just eliminate/exterminate their rivals (for what, I don't recall). Yeah, this one could use some real backstory, not the "oh, the backstory is in the previous installment, and to prove that here's some clips vis a vis, the MC's delirium. Thanks, there's better horror out there, with bigger stars than Beckinsale, though not as fresh from the can or is it called DRAM, these days?

To all of you super-critical reviewers, I want to know: Where is YOUR movie, your acting, your EVERYTHING that I mentioned in my summary. Now, I've seen the previous movies, and this one surpassed them. Yeah, I'd rather see Scott Speedman, but Theo James was excellent. Everything and everyone was excellent. Great production values in a well-thought-out showcase for movie production geniuses, and a very good time for people who just like movies with plenty of action and nifty effects. For me, all of the dialogue was meaningful, and so were the very creative plot points, and all those MEANINGFUL and THOUGHTFUL little edits. I totally loved it, and I know it made BIG money.