Evil Toons (1992)

That was an excellent one.

Simply A Masterpiece

As Good As It Gets

This film is so real. It treats its characters with so much care and sensitivity.

This movie's title, "Evil Toons", is a misnomer. There is only one "toon" in this movie, so the word should be written in the singular. Furthermore, this animated creature only appears for about a scene and a half - in the beginning, when summoned by some mysterious ancient book, and at the end, when it is vanquished, promising to return in "the sequel", though I don't think they made one.Only the first scene really features any human-cartoon interaction, and this ain't "Who Framed Roger Rabbit?" The animation is so poor that I assume the movie's micro budget couldn't really afford to do it, even when it's this shoddy, for more than a few minutes of screen time.I think the four starlets were supposed to be college girls because, well, aren't they always? One of them looks to be in her early forties, and when the token slut invites her jock boyfriend in, he doesn't look any younger, with his thinning hair and beer gut.Of the four, only two are attractive, but of course they all show their breasts. The slut one is among the attractive half of the cast, at least until she takes her top off and we see some weird looking nipple location. Picture a bug-eyed boy with a fly on the end of his nose. I assume these are fake, if not because of their (not overly generous) size, certainly because of the nipples. Mother nature doesn't make them that close together, right?The other attractive one, and the only one who generates any sympathy from the audience, is played by the beautiful Monique Gabrielle, who looks much younger than the other three and only has one topless scene.The other two women have that bizarre '80s style hair that looks like animal fur, like they were dressed in Chewbacca costumes for their last movie and forgot to take the headpiece off. They look much older, if I haven't made that point strongly enough yet, and neither are much to look at, besides.Aside from Gabrielle, the movie does have something else going for it: Dick Miller. Miller is good in anything. David Carradine also shows up, looking suitably creepy, but not doing much else.This movie really has nothing else that might make it worth watching. For a movie supposedly about "evil toons" there is only one toon who is badly animated and barely glimpsed, most of the women are old and ugly, and the "story" is just cliché without any life at all. This is for Monique Gabrielle and Dick Miller die-hards only.

Hey look, it's sleazeball writer/director Fred Olen Ray trying to bring us a horror parody! Unfortunately, for him, he didn't seem to realize his scenario is lacking two very important – I even daresay essential – components in order to accomplish this: the film is not funny, nor scary. Fortunately, for us, Fred Olen Ray can always safely rely on two other vital elements: the wittiness and charisma of genre veterans that inexplicably continue to collaborate with him (in this case David Carradine and Dick Miller) AND gratuitous nudity provided by voluptuous and professional adult film starlets. Presumably inspired by the contemporary revival of Looney Tunes and maybe even still the successful aftermath of "Who Framed Roger Rabbit", "Evil Toons" is a passable low- budgeted early 90's flick that clearly didn't knew which target audience to address. Die-hard horror buffs won't be very pleased with the goofy animations and (youthful) cartoon freaks aren't likely to be exposed to such amounts of nudity. Dick Miller runs an illegal cleaning company and employs young college girls that are willing to make a quick extra buck. He drops them off at a spooky old mansion on Friday night and their assignment is to get the place cleaned up by Sunday, as the new tenants movie in after the weekend. The hot trio discovers an ancient book and dagger. Stupidly reading a passage from the book out loud revives a demonic cartoon figure that promptly possesses one of the chicks and goes on a murderous rampage. It might sound like an extremely shallow thing to say, but I will only remember "Evil Toons" for the copious amounts of T&A. The three leading ladies look ravishing and they do even more so when they're topless. Especially the supposedly shy girl (forgot her name) is a real jewel. She wears loose sweaters and barely any make- up, so it comes as a pleasant surprise when she exposes her impressive D-cup all of a sudden in front of the bathroom mirror. The rest of the film is pathetic and forgettable. The "evil" cartoon looks like a crossover between the Tasmanian Devil and Wile E. Coyote, yet without the charm of those legendary figures. Dick Miller has a couple of great one-liners, like when he's watching himself in "A Bucket of Blood", and David Carradine inarguably remains a cool dude, even though he has little else to do than stand around in a cloud of fog outside of the mansion.

"Evil Toons" is one of many wacky comedy-horror flicks deliberately not taking itself seriously. This one has four twentyish women staying in an old mansion to spend the weekend cleaning it. A strange old man (David Carradine) gives them a book, which they read and release an evil spirit that materializes as a lecherous canine cartoon character and goes after the girls one by one.Of course, the movie's main strength is the women's nude scenes. Roxanne does a striptease, Megan fondles herself in front of a mirror, and there's other things. In fact, the DVD precedes the movie with an introduction by director Fred Olen Ray...and he's surrounded by naked women with breasts the size of watermelons. Really cool! (does it make me a chauvinist pig for saying that?) But overall, this is just a very funny movie. Probably the neatest character is B-movie veteran Dick Miller as the boss. In one scene, he watches Roger Corman's "A Bucket of Blood" - starring himself - and wonders why the star never won an Academy Award. I agree. On the Oscars just this past Sunday, they missed another chance to award him! Also starring Arte Johnson as the neighbor.

A bizarre 'B' movie offering from the evergreen Fred Olen Ray. Here we have a horror/tits n'ass movie, combining live action with animation, as seen in 'Who Framed Roger Rabbit' (1988).The story has four girls employed as cleaners (!!) staying in a spooky old house for the weekend to tidy things up for the new owners. Three of them are good-time girls with 'big' hair and cut-off denim shorts - the foursome made up by the obligatory bespectacled square, played by soft-core porn actress Monique Gabrielle. The film is low-brow to say the least, but its quite well-made with a reasonable dose of entertainment value. There are lots of breasts on display, particularly Monique's which are quite fantastic, and the film has a self-mocking tone which helps maintain the sense of fun - one girl asks - "Why do these things always have to start with young beautiful co-eds going into the basement?"David Carradine tries to give the film a star name, but he wanders aimlessly around as some bloke from years ago who got involved with a cursed book, which the girls then find. This unleashes a sexually frustrated cartoon demon which proceeds to stalk the female flesh on display.60's Corman stalwart Dick Miller puts in an appearance, and proceedings meander along until the script gives up the ghost. For 'B' movie fans 'Evil Toons' has a surprisingly lot to offer. Production values are good and everything gives the impression of having been made by people whose passion for their work is strong.BEST SCENE - Roxanne's strip dance is good, but Megan's topless scene in front of the mirror is out of the top drawer.