First House on the Hill (2017)

To me, this movie is perfection.

hyped garbage

Great example of an old-fashioned, pure-at-heart escapist event movie that doesn't pretend to be anything that it's not and has boat loads of fun being its own ludicrous self.

The movie's not perfect, but it sticks the landing of its message. It was engaging - thrilling at times - and I personally thought it was a great time.

I selected this movie for my filmfestival in Hannover and it even became 2nd in the audience vote. It is a nice little hommage to the Giallos with strong vivid colours, good camera work and athmosphere. Of course it is not like todays terror movies. If you are in the mood for something that looks like it was shot decades ago, I can recommend it.

I found two similar "isolation" type movies and decided to watch both before reviewing. I watched this first, and "Edge of Isolation" the following night, because "Edge" had the lower rating. This is the second time I've done comparisons on two similar movies, and both times the second, lower rates movie was better. When I decide to recommend a movie it isn't "would I watch it again" (that's almost always a no), it's more "after seeing it, would I go back and watch it in the first place?". While I would definitely watch "Edge", I would save the 90 minutes I wasted watching "First House". It had my attention in the beginning, it had potential. I watched in interest at first, seeing how it would develop, but then it took a turn for the worse. Where the movie had a chance to get interesting, it just went bat $hit crazy, like the writer dropped some acid at the beginning of the movie and then it hit him an hour in. I'll save you the trouble and just tell you to go watch "Edge of Isolation" instead.

I can't believe I watched it all. I have this pathetic compulsion to see things thru regardless of how much agony it causes. This was all over the place. There was no cohesiveness. I think I got a migraine trying to follow it. The actors were so unnatural that it hurt. Lord I regret watching this. Please believe me, you do not want to watch this.

This film has no idea what it wants to be. It wants to be an old school giallo, no wait, a comedy. Nevermind, meta horror. Nope, maybe a mix of all the above. And a poorly written, acted, directed and scored one at that. It could have been a "so bad it's good" cult film, but it fails at that too. It's just plain bad.