Carnage (1984)

It's an amazing and heartbreaking story.

There's no way I can possibly love it entirely but I just think its ridiculously bad, but enjoyable at the same time.

The film may be flawed, but its message is not.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

Carnage (1984) ** (out of 4) Carol (Leslie Den Dooven) and Jonathan (Michael Chiodo) are a newly married couple who move into their dream home but they have no idea what horrors await them. What they don't know is that a previous newlywed couple did a murder/suicide inside the home and their ghosts are still there.Andy Milligan returned to the director's chair after a six year hiatus and delivered what is basically a rip-off on THE AMITYVILLE HORROR. Milligan has a small cult following but there's an even bigger group that downright hates his movies. I must admit that while this here didn't contain a single original moment it was at least somewhat well-made and there's no question that Milligan throws in enough curve balls to make sure he holds your interest.The best thing going for the film is that Milligan has some rather good (considering their budget) special effects and some really wacky death scenes. There are all sorts of objects that float around and it's easy to see how these effects were done but at the same time you have to somewhat smile at the attempt and delivery. The highlight is a scene where an axe floats up to a woman and chops her head off (a mannequin obviously used) as well as another attack dealing with scissors and some of the worst looking fake guts that you're ever going to see.The film actually looks professionally shot, which isn't something you could say for most of Milligan's work. The cinematography was actually good and I'd argue that it has a pretty good flaw, although there's no question that at times the low-budget nature shows its head. Still, the performances are better than you normally get in this type of film and Milligan, obviously knowing about the slasher craze, throws in some gory death scenes. CARNAGE isn't a great movie or even a good one but it's certainly much better than a lot of the films from this era.

Andy Milligan might be some kind of legend within the exploitation genre, but this off-brand version of "Poltergeist" doesn't really provide any so-bad-it's-good moments. It really only has one scene that it worth your time and money. The scene where one of the ghosts disembowels the burglar is incredibly cheesy and thus incredibly entertaining, mainly because his 'guts' are very clearly spaghetti. The movie has more gore than that (and one surprisingly bloodless decapitation), but that scene really sticks out. Most of this movie is just dreadfully boring. I know "Poltergeist" also got most of its suspense from shutting doors and moving objects, but that movie had a director who knew what he was doing. Milligan apparently saw "Poltergeist" and figured 'that doesn't look difficult', only to prove that it's extremely difficult. It also doesn't help that his actors are all well below porn standards. Hell, some of the men even have failed attempts at porn moustaches. None of these people ever appeared in something else, and you immediately understand why. "Carnage" is obviously a quick cash-in, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't at least try to go for something entertaining.

Andy Milligan made a lot of films about hate. Ugly hateful people blowing hot sick winds of hate at each other through two bit sets with a side order of chintz-gore. I have a lot of time for his schtick, though it is an acquired taste. Carnage sets off on a different track though, its a film about love. Love of people, love of people for a house, a love that transcends death. And nothing says love like an opening sequence murder suicide wedding! Can you feel it?! So we got a lovely young couple dead before the title flashes up, and once it does their unfortunate marital home gets a couple of new tenants, an instantly agreeable pair of newlyweds by the name of Carol and Jonathan. Easy going ordinary folk lightly essayed by one shotters Leslie Den Dooven and Michael Chiodo, they reel in the audience by a sheer force of normality and when things start to go awry its hard not to wish them the best. And things go awry a-plenty, from household objects acting of their own accord (pretty much anything not nailed down in this place gets to misbehave) to a number of amusing bloody deaths. Milligan was working with a higher budget than the majority of his films, as a result Carnage generally looks professional or at least semi professional and the setting is a plus, a nice old building with the right kind of homely atmosphere to be usurped by spooky goings on. Some of the shocks are quite neat as well, with one throat slash death that actually comes off effectively bloody and well handled. For those put off by the idea of Andy Milligan making a normal film, there is still a bit of weirdness and ineptitude to chew on. For one, there are a few scenes where the lighting kinda sucks, also some of the deaths are pretty silly. One in particular is impressively ludicrous, in which it transpires that the human intestine is in fact made of a noodle like substance. Take that biology lessons! There's a fair amount of filler as well, inconsequential characters getting more screen time and development than needed, including some thoroughly charming scenes involving a young lady bickering with her tough cookie (but good hearted and helpful) mother. Yep, a nice mom in a Milligan film! There's even a nice priest as well! Luckily the actors are all amateurs so the film never gets into genuinely dramatic territory, it just comes across as quaint and funny. And although sinister at times, the supernatural shenanigans are also pretty funny. Sadly the film does lose quite a lot of interest in trying to be normal, it doesn't work very well on normal terms because the pace is too slow and the execution too shonky, it also has little sense of character. I was never bored which is a definite plus, but on the other hand its rarely all that inspiring. I guess only 80's trash completists or Milligan addicts will ever care about this one and on those levels it serves its purpose, but I wouldn't dream of recommending it to anyone else. See it if you have to, but not an essential I'd say.

Yes, it's that bad. This carries the usual idiotic premise that no matter how many awful things take place, you stay in the house. Some movies would make this interesting, but this is absolutely terrible. Friends come and die. Relatives come and die. Things move. Gas gets turned on at night. People fall on broken glass. Old crappy radios fall in a three foot bathtub while a guy is taking a bath. A minister gets a meat cleaver in the head. These two suicide victims are haunting the house. They are constantly getting in the way. They have that Beetlejuice thing going to some extent. They are attracted to the people they are torturing. Anyway, there's no end to the suffering, not of the people in the house, but of the people who saw this movie. Avoid at all costs. It's not even campy.