Bordello of Blood (1996)

Absolutely the worst movie.

It's funny watching the elements come together in this complicated scam. On one hand, the set-up isn't quite as complex as it seems, but there's an easy sense of fun in every exchange.

By the time the dramatic fireworks start popping off, each one feels earned.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

Another tongue in cheek blood 'n' guts rampage this time including lots of tits 'n' ass too...so its pretty darn good then. An unoriginal vampire tale this time, set in a brothel with lots of ladies eating biker types much like 'From Dusk Till Dawn' or 'Vamp' but nowhere near as good.Plot is pretty standard but like the previous Crypt flick is does have a wonderful array of makeup and prosthetic effects all over the show with blood squirting and fangs flying, nothing you haven't seen before but it looks good. Casting is drab but does include 80's horror comedy star Sarandon and 80's teen star Feldman both of which raise the film slightly, Angie Everhart looks delicious as 'Lilith'.You know what your gonna get with this franchise so your either gonna love it or hate it. Personally I view these films as a great opportunity to see fantastic examples of hands-on horror makeup effects, normally without much CGI, plus they are always good fun on a no-brainer level.6/10

crime, sex,comedy/ parody, crazy work, mixture of different ingredients and ambiguous result. a film who use pieces from few genre movies for a show who can have many interpretations. because, in fact, it is a game between Eleniak and Everhardt, a ball of sex and religion, old myths and clash of imagination. only the firm of Crypt does the things reasonable. but the desire to present all in a kind of labyrinth, a puzzle with too many pieces who can be, in same measure, a bad film or an exotic parody not seems be the inspired choice. sure, it is only a joke. not comfortable for many viewers but a common MTV mark product , strange but amusing if the humor spirit is not lost.

Words cannot describe just how bad this thing is. The plot is nonsensical, the characters empty, the dialogue beyond moronic, the action boring, the scares non-existent, the humour completely absent. Add to that poor direction and some of the most confusing editing ever witnessed in cinema... This is an orgy of stupidity and bad taste. It boggles the mind how a project like this ever got greenlighted.Nothing in this film makes sense and apart from the stupidity one can't help but notice the nudity. I suppose the target audience for this were males between the ages of 12 and 16, with raging hormones, IQ below 70, and no sex life.

"Bordello of Blood" does offer some undemanding B movie entertainment, even if it's never quite as much fun as one might like it to be. At least it never pretends to take itself very seriously, and star Dennis Miller, playing wise ass, low rent private eye Rafe Guttman, apparently concocted much of his sardonic dialogue himself. Rafe is hired by uptight Katherine Verdoux (Erika Eleniak) to locate her indolent brother Caleb (a well cast Corey Feldman), and tracks him to the mortuary, doubling as a bordello, where Caleb is last seen, tangling with evil boss vampire Lilith (Angie Everhart) and teaming up with slick televangelist J.C. Current (Chris Sarandon). While it's not really all that funny, the attempt by Miller and company to give their material that tongue in cheek flavour is still appreciated. Things get off to a fine start with The Crypt Keeper joined by a mummy, played by the ever dependable William Sadler, the hero of the first 'Tales from the Crypt' movie, "Demon Knight". The actors are all quite entertaining to watch. The casting of Sarandon is a decent in-joke seeing that he was the charming vampire-next-door in "Fright Night" and is one of the vampire slayers here. Feldman fans may be disappointed that he's only around for the first and final thirds, but he IS a hoot and makes the most of his brief screen time. Sexy Everheart clearly is relishing the role of the blood sucking babe; she, Eleniak, Kiara Hunter, Leslie Ann Phillips, and Juliet Reagh provide delectable eye candy. Supporting performances by Aubrey Morris (as McCutcheon) and Phil Fondacaro (as Vincent) are quite amusing. The gore effects are very entertaining and the soundtrack features some solid vintage and then-current rock tunes. Gilbert Adler, one of the producers of the TV series, made his feature film directing debut here, and does a decent job. Overall, the movie is a perfectly acceptable combination of sex, gore, and humour, and the pacing stays pretty consistent throughout. It's not as good as "Demon Knight", but it's not bad either. Be sure to watch out for the uncredited cameo appearance by Oscar winning actress Whoopi Goldberg. Seven out of 10.