The Horde (2016)

An action-packed slog

Good films always raise compelling questions, whether the format is fiction or documentary fact.

It's simply great fun, a winsome film and an occasionally over-the-top luxury fantasy that never flags.

Through painfully honest and emotional moments, the movie becomes irresistibly relatable

Students go into the well manicured woods around Sapphire Lake where earlier we saw a "horde" of deformed men chase down a young female "breeder." John Crenshaw (Paul Logan) is an ex-SEAL who still pumps iron in front of a mirror. He goes along with the group and reacts as if this is a formula film, Rambo style. It was like Rambo vs Mutants. It was one of those jaw dropping moments where you watch in disbelief not knowing if they meant the film to be this campy or it just worked out that way. Riley (Matthew Willig) for instance was a Sheldon Cooper type as a rich know it all snob. Camp Value.Guide: Brief rape (panties and bra still on) , brief side breast nudity.

This is one of the most awful movies I have put myself though for quite some time. the concept had some promise but the reliance of clichéd teen characters and the OTT hero just sunk this film from the start. it was unbelievable from the very start, wooden people in a very haunted train ride type of world. I know it is a B or even a Z movie but come on! have some respect for the viewer. I found it cringe worthy and insulting to my ability to enjoy the movie no matter how trash it was. point in question would be the likes of the Toxic avenger which is a pile of crap but man you just can't not enjoy it and good ole Toxie. this movie left me mad, I felt robbed and I really hope the actors got paid cause if this is how they make a buck they are suffering for their art. I don't know how you flush a DVD down the toilet but if some knows could they please tell me so I can put an end to this train wreck of a film

No doubt the reason for a brand of whey protein a power drink are thanked in the credits to "The Horde" is because they helped keep its multi-functioning star Paul Logan -- who also wrote, produced and did fight choreography -- shredded and pumped. Logan's big biceps and lean, mean torso are the main attraction of this turkey, and a few more shirtless scenes would have been welcome. There's not much else to look at or appreciate.Logan plays a SEAL who accompanies his fiancé, the world's worst nature photography teacher at some kind of probably for-profit rip- off college, on an "extra-credit" class camping trip. She has great advice like "try different settings" and "experiment," and inspirational pitches like "there's beauty everywhere." Her remedial students aren't terribly interested in photography and seem barely able to hold a camera -- one could be forgiven for thinking the film's title refers to them instead of the group of inbreds who kill, kidnap and torture them in the woods, until of course the muscular Logan snaps into action. The students are all either one thing -- the spoiled rich kid is just a spoiled rich kid, the horny couple is horny all the time -- or nondescript. Logan the screenwriter hasn't mastered creating characters that are remotely lifelike, even his own is one-dimensional. That's probably why they cast terrible actors -- why waste the money on good actors when you aren't giving them anything to play?This is a combination trip-to-the-woods horror film and "Rambo"/"Missing in Action" style military action film. I guess we are too far removed from Vietnam for Logan to be re-fighting that war, so instead he picks off mutants of the horde the way Chuck Norris used to pick off Viet-Cong. Unfortunately, the mutants are about as uninteresting and uninspired as the hapless soldiers were, which is a problem for the horror-film part of the story. Costas Mandylor does a good job as the horde's opportunistic ring-leader, and Matthew Willig looks suitably imposing as his main henchman, but isn't given enough to do. Considering how much build-up there is to the fight between Logan and Willig, it is really disappointing that it didn't turn out better. Logan the fight choreographer is fine if not innovative, and Logan the actor is good at action, but director Jared Cohn doesn't have a knack for shooting action sequences in a dynamic way, at least not on this film's obviously limited budget. There is less of a sense of place (it isn't set anywhere specific) or realism than in ultra-low-budget films like "Deadly Prey" (to which this owes a debt). They are about as deep in the woods as your average company picnic, yet somehow this mass of mutants has lived there for decades unnoticed by the people of Topanga, where this was filmed, or the staff of the Burger King that is probably 10 minutes away from the location shoots.One oddity: Don "The Dragon" Wilson, for my money the least interesting action star of the 1990s, has an entirely pointless cameo. I guess they couldn't get Norris.

As far as a horror movies go this isn't all bad. Yes it's killer hillbillys plus some torture porn thrown in. Yes it definitely follows the numbers of the killer hillbilly genre. However the Rambo hero played by Paul Logan who is a terrible actor really lets the whole thing down. OK we have all the annoying teenagers going camping in the woods you usually get in these sort of movies but let's face it watch these movies for the killers right. This is where this movie rises above we have Vernon Wells(Commando,The Road Warrior) Costas Mandylor(Saw Franchise) Matthew Willig(Year One) plus more as our bad guys. These guys aren't the Wrong Turn type of killers but escaped cons holding up with a few locals in the woods. The movie plays out more like an action movie however and this is where it goes wrong. Our hero slashes his way through the cast of baddies with ease therefore taking out any sort of tension the The Horde tried to build. I have to blame the director for this because they had good actors not given enough screen time(Bill Mossely as a bartender, Nestor Serrano as a cop what a waste) so Paul Logan can flex his way through. To sum up not the worst out there but far from the best.