The War Wagon (1967)

In truth, there is barely enough story here to make a film.

It’s not bad or unwatchable but despite the amplitude of the spectacle, the end result is underwhelming.

A clunky actioner with a handful of cool moments.

The film never slows down or bores, plunging from one harrowing sequence to the next.

. . . for ripping off a key aspect of a great Western, then trying to "dumb it down" to what he feels is the intelligence level of his target audience, and winding up with a weak stew more paltry than the sum of its parts. Wayne collaborated most infamously and overtly along these lines with director Howard Hawks, in "Batjacking" (his trademark term for "hijacking") Gary Cooper's Classic HIGH NOON into the thin broth of RIO BRAVO. Since THE WAR WAGON is directed by an even lesser never-was (Burt Kennedy), its attempt to steal story lines from John Huston and Humphrey Bogart's masterpiece--THE TREASURE OF THE SIERRA MADRE--is more pitiable than offensive. John Wayne's personal Real Life credo is spelled out twice in THE WAR WAGON. Kiowa "Levi Walking Bear" summarizes it as, "Grab all you can, any time you can." Earlier, in the opening WAR WAGON ballad, Ed Ames sings, "But, wrong or right, I have to fight." Wayne's characters often were wrong in his flicks (such as his "Davy Crockett" murdering scores of Mexican law enforcement officials battling to keep him and his henchmen from RE-ENSLAVING the free Black People of Texas Province), and "Il Duce" himself was wrong 99% of the time in Real Life, especially as he wreaked havoc in the 1940s and 1950s as America's self-appointed Snitch-in-Chief. (The production notes for the 2003 DVD release of THE WAR WAGON reveal that during this Durango shoot Kirk Douglas courageously tried to nip the political career of turncoat Democrat\Assistant Snitch Ronald Reagan ON HIS OWN TIME, but then Wayne put WAR WAGON over budget by rushing from Mexico to L.A. ON ONE OF HIS SCHEDULED SHOOTING DAYS to undo Kirk's Good Deed!) Many of Hitler's generals bought into Davy Crockett and WAR WAGON's philosophy of "Wrong or right, I have to fight." Do you?

This movie has gotten some bad reviews and I can not understand why. It is funny, very tongue in cheek, with plenty of action. John Wayne is Taw Jackson, a man wronged by the bad guy, played by Bruce Cabot, and sent to prison. Now, out of said prison, Jackson teams with his old enemy played very ably by Kirk Douglas. They get some shaky sidekicks to help them rob the War Wagon, an armored wagon with a Gatling gun inside and many riders outside. Keenan Wynn plays a very jealous old man with a very young wife/woman that he apparently traded for. There is the explosives expert who is also an alky. Taw also enlists the aid of some local Indians to attack the wagon and force it to go where they want it. The Indians get some stuff but lose some warriors so I think they got taken advantage of in the movie, but hey it is a movie. All in all I think this is a very good movie.

By the late 1960s the Western as an art form was pretty much fagged out and this is a nearly perfect example of its decadent period.Douglas is hired to knock off Wayne but discovers that, if he throws in with Wayne's plan, he stands to make much more money. The plan is to rob a wagon train full of gold. The problem is that the wagon is armored and equipped with a Gatling gun. Wayne and Douglas remain friendly enemies and trade wisecracks but they combine their efforts. They dig up a queer crew of gangsters including an Indian, Howard Keel, and a youngster who is an expert in explosive and an abject drunk, Robert Walker, Jr.It's as if everyone involved recognized the futility of continuing CPR on the corpse and just gave up. It was directed by Burt Kennedy, who wrote some of the most interesting little Westerns imaginable for Randolph Scott. His direction is pedestrian.Howard Keel, almost unrecognizable under his make up, I suppose is added for comic effect but isn't funny. Often the producers will insist on adding a younger actor for appeal to a different audience -- Ricky Nelson here, Fabian or some other heart throb there. In "The War Wagon" it's Walker and the attempt fails. He's not cute, talented, or appealing, although for all anyone knows he might be a splendid young man in real life, with a stamp collection and a Shih Tzu.If there's a cliché missing, I didn't notice. It's opens with a lively Country and Western tune about the things men will do for one of those wagons full of gold. (Music by Dmitri Tiomkin. Dmitri -- what happened to YOU?) We have one of those bar room brawls in which everyone is slugging everyone else without reason. Men have sturdy chairs splintered over their backs, then turn around and bash the guy who wielded it. Men are thrown through windows. A piano is flung around. Banter: the two heroes shoot a couple of bad guys. Douglas: "Mine hit the ground first." Wayne: "Mine was taller." A wagon load of flour detaches itself from the horses, as all racing wagons must, before rolling off a cliff and exploding at the bottom. Danger: Radioactive Flour.Even Wardrobe gave up. Wayne is dressed as he was always dressed in his later, less imaginative Westerns: jeans, pink shirt, vest, bandanna up around his chin, and the usual beige hat. Douglas is dressed as no cowboy ever was: an olive-green suede vest and matching boots. He wears what appears to be a pair of leotards. He has a black leather glove on his left hand and a big silver ring on the outside of the glove.No need to go on. I sat through it years ago and tried again recently but couldn't do it. It was almost painful to see some of these actors growing old and flabby, hefting themselves onto horses yet again, for the long ride downhill to the end of the trail.

John Wayne and Kirk Douglas, both big stars of the period, team up in THE WAR WAGON to steal $500,000 in gold and wreak revenge on a nasty land baron (Bruce Cabot) who has stolen Wayne's ranch while Wayne was in prison. Douglas' gunslinger character initially is hired by Cabot to eliminate Wayne, but ends up falling in with Wayne when promised a much bigger payoff. Along the way, they gather together a motley group (including Howard Keel as a feisty Indian and Robert Walker Jr. as an explosive expert) to grab Cabot's gold. A grizzled Keenan Wynn also is along for the ride. The title refers to a steel-plated wagon, an early version of an armored car, that Cabot uses to transport his gold. Douglas, who appears to have done all his own stunts, steals virtually every scene he is in, but he and Wayne manage to play very well together. An unusual role for the Duke, playing an ex-con with robbery and murder on his mind. Watch for a very young Bruce Dern as a hired thug.