The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2 (1986)

I cannot think of one single thing that I would change about this film. The acting is incomparable, the directing deft, and the writing poignantly brilliant.

A film with more than the usual spoiler issues. Talking about it in any detail feels akin to handing you a gift-wrapped present and saying, "I hope you like it -- It's a thriller about a diabolical secret experiment."

Let me be very fair here, this is not the best movie in my opinion. But, this movie is fun, it has purpose and is very enjoyable to watch.

It is a whirlwind of delight --- attractive actors, stunning couture, spectacular sets and outrageous parties.

It's 8.30pm over here, on the 27th of March. Today is the birthday of one of my favorite horror icons, Ms. Caroline Williams. To celebrate, my special feature of the night will be a movie that she's very well known for; the movie that made her into a massive horror icon. It is the original sequel from the late great master of horror, Tobe Hooper, and it is one of the best sequels and films ever made: 1986's, The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. It's a sequel that never gets old, and I just absolutely love watching it over and over again. There is an unforgettable performance from the amazing and iconic Caroline Williams, as a radio DJ, Stretch, and I find her character to be very bold, brave, and beautiful. This is also the movie that made Bill Moseley into a massive horror icon, for his funny and menacing performance as Leatherface's brother, Chop Top, which I find to be very cool and hilarious. And, as well, there is an unforgettable performance by Bill Johnson, as Leatherface, with him licking his lips, the way he moves, and the way he's swinging around his chainsaw. There are also awesome performances from late legends, Jim Siedow and Dennis Hopper. It's a horrifying sequel with the mixture of romance and comedy, plus you've got super-cool 80's hits and mind blowing special-effects from the Guru of Gore himself, Tom Savini. It's more than just a masterpiece of a feature, and I feel Hollywood should really be doing a direct sequel to this chapter, and mainly bringing back both Caroline Williams as Stretch, and Bill Moseley as Chop Top Sawyer, rather than wasting all their talents and time on remakes, prequels, etc.

Where do I begin?1) Somehow, the Sawyer family is still roaming around, killing lots of people with chainsaws and even serving them as chili to local events and winning awards? Dennis Hopper(a former ranger? marshal?) knows it, and had family murdered by them, but no other cops believe it?2)Leatherface looks like he is auditioning for Soul Train with some truly hilarious dance moves, shaking his chainsaw over his head.3)Hopper tries out saws at a local store, and he hits a log with it as if swinging an axe-- a good way to de-limb yourself; meanwhile, the store owner seems excited, and the dialogue makes NO SENSE. 4)2 teen idiots are attacked by the family. Somehow, a truck in reverse is able to drive straight(backwards) all the way down a bridge while keeping pace with a speeding sports car, while Leatherface stands up in the bed, sawing through the car and killing people. One of the kids shoots him with a revolver, but it only knocks off his mask??? This opening scene let me know how stupid this film was going to be.5)A radio host(100 lb. female) is left alone late at night in a secluded place to work. She plays a tape of the 2 college dudes getting sawed up, which apparently draws the killers to the station to stop her from outing them. Although, this tape proves ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, other than some dorks making noise with saws and yelling, and doesn't even give a clue as to who killed them or where it happened. Unbelievably stupid.6)Leatherface suddenly has a tender side? He rubs the girl's crotch with his saw and seems to have a crazed orgasm in his pants, then can't seem to hit anything with the saw as he fumbles around like Michael J. Fox with a cup of coffee. This scene is so bad it belongs in a Hall of Fame.7)What kind of sick blackmail did they have on a star like Dennis Hopper to force him into this project? He must have been in debt to the mob or on acid when he signed up for this.8)The script is like something from a 5th grade play.9)They beat the crap out of the other DJ with a hammer and sawed him up, but hours later, he is still alive and able to free the girl?10)These stupid, inbred retards are somehow able to run a profitable food business, and hide out with corpses spread across a huge attraction theme park area??? Who is buying stuff from them or interacting with them, thinking these guys are even remotely normal?11)Instead of bringing a gun or sneaking in, Hopper brings like 30 chainsaws(so he can have a Star Wars saber duel?) and screams 50 ft. away from the hideout to announce he is there. He then cuts random beams that should have collapsed on his head and harmed him.12)How is grandpa still alive at 137? Must be the superb health coverage offered by his troglodyte relatives and their sanitized retirement home environment? Laughably ludicrous. It is as if they could not decide if this was to be dark comedy or scary horror. It translates to a gory mess that is so stupid you can't help but shake your head and laugh. Apparently there were obvious miscommunications, as the studio wasn't happy.

OK, let me start out with saying the theatrical poster was a PARODY of the theatrical poster of "The Breakfast Club". That right there should've been a heads-up that this film didn't take itself very seriously. That being said this is one of the single funniest/creepiest films I've ever seen. No other film that I've seen balances that line so well. The scene in the radio station has a jump-scare that still gets me after seeing this film countless times. Chop-Top (Bill Moseley) has some of the funniest lines I've ever seen in a horror movie during this scene. Jim Siedow is great as the Cook. Dennis Hopper's performance is so over-the-top you have to realize this was done on purpose. Caroline Williams is GREAT as Stretch, the radio DJ that is being stalked by the Sawyer family after some bad timing. The climax is so intense, yet so ridiculous, it has to be seen to be believed. Seriously, if you're into campy horror films you can't just watch this film once. Tobe Hooper hit a home run with this one.

This movie isn't TERRIBLE. I gave it a 3 out of 10 because it is just disappointing the the original, in the original they let a girl get away and shouldn't that girl have told the police about the murderers? The thing should have been all over. If this was a sequel it should have been about the beginning of it all. Not into the future. The movie just made no sense. If you get the time right, Leatherface was 34 in the first movie, if this movie takes place 13 years later. He should be 47. So they been at for 17 years? How did they go from a house to an abandon circus. Did they move? So did they just leave all the other dead body parts in the other house and drive in their truck? They snuck in the circus and moved there? How did they get their victims? More people wanted to sneak in or did Leatherface come out of the circus and look for victims. In some scenes in "The Texas Chain Saw Massacre 2" you can see Leatherface comes into houses and cars to kill his victims, then he brings their bodies. Then he butchers them at the circus. So it's a bit stupid. In the original people would go INTO the house and die. In this movie people would be kidnapped.Overall the movie sucked.